Amy Satori

Intuitive Spiritual Counselor


Filtering by Tag: loving yourself

Attracting Your Soulmate

There comes a point in your life when you've had about as many lessons (over and over) as you can stand to bear with sexual partners before realizing you have to go deeper if you want something to last... perhaps a lifetime. I get so many questions from people who are at this point in their journey so I thought I'd share my take on finding "the one" (I don't believe we're ever really looking for 'the next'). There are basically two types of partners you can attract... those who help you learn evolutionary lessons along your path through conflict and contrast and those who join with you along the way and hold your hand encouraging you while you both learn and grow. Although it's rare, one can turn into the other.  Some people reverse these terms, but here's the gist:

Matt Kahn confused everyone in this video switching what we label the soulmate or twinflame. So, for simplicity sake, I'm going to keep it like everyone knows it... twin flame is "the one". Karmic is "the lesson". I love his advice in this video, however, so here it is.

Karmic relationships always seem to involve instant gratification, doubt, confusion, manipulation, trickery, lies, and pain.  If our great teacher, ego, is influencing your relationship, you will use these things to get what you want or they will be using these things to get what they want out of you. In some cases, your karmic even sense when you are about to find your soulmate and attempt to sabotage you subconsciously.  This is why suddenly, you'll get a rush of guys/girls asking you out all at once when you become interested in someone with long term potential. If you want the best relationship for you, it is important that you push past these karmics so the real deal can come to the forefront. Otherwise, you'll be too distracted and your heart won't be available till you realize what's going on and what you'll possibly miss out on if you continue to stay stuck in the karmic's web.

In order to see you through to success, I'd like to explain the role of the higher self so you understand how we get in the way.  Your higher self is always trying to orchestrate the most incredible sets of events in your life that will leave you in awe and wonderment.  It's lining up that perfect job, the perfect relationship, the best friends you could possibly have, and all the money you'll even need, etc. But their job depends on how well we do our job.  When we are a clear channel for divine guidance and are in the moment (not dwelling on the past or looking for fulfillment in the future), you are clearly guided as to each step you need to take to get you there.  Your only job is to stay in the moment and feel as high a vibration as possible so you attract the best possible outcomes. Joy, excitement, eager anticipation, daydreaming in such a way that you have already attained it, patient persistence, knowing, and faith bring these things through to manifest in your life. Thinking, worry, doubt, and all the ego's tricks we talked about slow down or hault those things from coming altogether. It is highly advantageous to continuously "Let go and let God". Remember, when things don't work out with someone you had hopes in, that your higher self has someone perfect coming so it has to weed those people out. Don't take it as a disappointment, take it as encouragement that you're one candidate (experience you learned from ) closer to what God has in store for you.

Twin flames are like a divine reward.  As the American writer Richard Bach said, “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are.” These may feel a little slower than you'd like or are used to at first because it feels like there's a lot at stake and both of you don't want to make a wrong step.  It may even sneak up on you and blindside you. Often times there is an age difference and/or they may not be your "type", but don't go by your typical list of what you look for in someone... this person is in a league all their own.  It can be a practice in patience initially, but there's also a sense of clarity and a knowing that this interest could be worth the wait. There's a certain respect to taking your time and faith in this trusting of divine timing listening to the prompting of your heart and intuition as intimacy naturally deepens between you almost as if you didn't have a thing to do with it.  In the process of such a relationship blossoming, you are encouraged by the universe to continuously come back to the moment and ripen to the potential through a maturation process.  Many people, when they do meet their twin flame, feel a strong gravitational pull towards them. Listen to your intuition on this because you don't want to try to force it to happen (you may be twins, but each of you ultimately has free will) yet you do want to be sure to respond willingly when you're prompted by the universe to take action even if it's terribly uncomfortable. Once you've reached a certain level of comfort, it will just start to flow and be easier than relationships of the past. It's easier to understand each other, "get" where the other person is coming from, forgive, and compromise. There's not so much power struggle, but a team effort toward you both being happy separately as well as together. There also could be an automatic trust and comfort that unfolds naturally unlike you've had before.  Partially, this is due to you having many past lifetimes together (familiarity, comfort).

So, why are we drawn to the karmics?  Well, let's face it, if karmics weren't so enticing, why would we go through a karmic relationship knowing full well there will be pain involved? We're usually more drawn to them when we are thinking something outside of us is going to make us happy (see my podcast on addictions to learn more) instead of going within and loving yourself then allowing this other person to be a compliment to your life rather than having lofty expectations they're bound to fall short of leaving you disappointed. If you are seeking, you are probably going to pull in a karmic so you can have a lesson that points you back to learning to love yourself. If you are happy being as you are, you're likely to attract your twin flame. If you fluctuate between looking and loving yourself, you'll probably attract both to you so you have to be wise and discerning. Just as a fire that starts fast and fierce so too burns out quickly, so does any relationship that is too passionate too fast (even friendships). Take your time... it'll be worth it.

What's the purpose?  I've often thought having a significant other like this was somewhat of a distraction from enlightenment and felt weak for caving in and getting back into another relationship when I felt my priority needed to be my spirituality.  A part of me felt bad for even desiring a relationship. But I've learned the karmic relationship has a grand purpose far greater than mere relationships.  They are against all logic.  They are against all odds.  They are renegades.  They inspire those who see them, hear about them, and watch them come together and flourish.  They inspire romantic comedies just like Christmas movies make us cry and inspire us to have faith and hope again.  They lift up the vibration of this planet and are incredibly healing not only to those individuals lucky enough to unite, but for the family, friends, general public, and the collective as a whole. A twin flame environment is also the most conducive to achieving enlightenment if you think about it.  In fact, if you strive to awaken before uniting, so will they (because you are psychically connected) and, then, when you come together, you can awaken to an even deeper level together remembering to keep your eye on heaven always above your relationship (ie. stay present and don't get caught up in the dramas of life). True love and being present make you feel safe, secure, and loved. You can allow yourself to sink into this partnership and experience true freedom only this kind of love provides. 

How to gain clarification as you go?  These are some tools to use to help you decipher whether this is a karmic or twin flame and when or how to take loving action:

INTUITION:  Your intuition is your best guide. When you're aligned with your natural guidance and intuition, you will feel prompted to take loving action (without a big built up story of how you'll do it or how they'll respond), because it's coming from pure divine prompting without expectation. You may not know why you're prompted but you listen because you know this guidance comes to you for your best and highest good. If you're accustomed to listening to your intuition, you've probably already experienced miracles happening as a result of this blind following of the promptings. This means casting your fears and ego aside and just doing what feels right and true to you deep down.

TALK TO HIS/HER HIGHER SELF:  If you have an idea who this could be, send them blessings and see what you get back.  It's like a ping in computer terms.  You'd be surprised what you get.  If this is your twin, you'll start to receive information or reciprocation from them. You may even start to feel things they feel, or sense when they're thinking of you.  Some have even reported heart palpitations, tingling, intuitive hits/flashes, or feeling incredibly turned on out of nowhere for no reason.  If you do energy work, you may start to see their energy field overlay with yours... sort of a merging of your energy fields. 

PRAYER:  A couple examples of prayers to try are "I accept that I can't tell who's a twin flame and who's a soul mate right now so I call up on the light of the universe to please make it very clear to me which is which so I will not doubt which direction calls me on my behalf and for the benefit of all. That I am now. So be it." or"I accept that I don't know how to make this thing happen so I call up on the light of the universe to please step in on my behalf and bring us together on our behalf and for the betterment of all. That I am now. So be it."

DREAMS: You can also ask Archangel Michael, upon going to bed at night, to remove subconscious blocks and give you guidance in your sleep.  He's excellent at helping clarify. Ask about a specific person and for the truth to be shown.  You can also get a dream book on relationships to help decipher, but the general gist is that, if you feel good in the dream, it's a good sign.  Working on a project together rather than merely being passionate, is a sign of long term potential.  Even loving or marrying a family member is a good sign 'cause it indicates this person feels like family.  It's all about how the dream makes you feel.

MEDITATION:  I do qigong every morning then sit quietly for about 5 minutes just asking if there's anything they (my divine guidance system) would like to tell me about today.  Then I wait for images, feelings, or promptings to arise.  You could ask specifics as well.

PENDULUMS: When looking for a pendulum, hold it out in front of your heart and ask what it's 'yes' looks like then ask what it's 'no' looks like (without influencing it).  Then ask if the pendulum likes you. If the pendulum responds well to you, you can use this pendulum every time you need to clarify anything you couldn't quite decode in your meditation or in a sign that comes to you.   There are some great Youtube videos on how to use a pendulum, but this is my favorite set of videos.

CRYSTAL GRIDS: A crystal grid is essentially a prayer request in the form of rocks or crystals. Combining feng shui, you can set up a crystal grid in the love area of your room.  This video I've attached shows one type of love grid, but, you can lay your rocks and gems out any way you'd like.  It's really just about your intention and using things that symbolize what's important to you in a relationship.  And, before creating any grid that involves others, make sure you state that you create this grid according to your and the other person's highest good and within their free will preferences. This way you are not intruding on anyone's free will. This is a very important law of the universe I encourage everyone to follow. I do not even send healing energy to anyone unless they've given me permission first.

ORACLE CARDS: After qigong and my 5 minute meditation, I ask if there are some cards I should pull to give me guidance for the day.  If I have a love interest, I may pull Doreen Virtue's Romance Cards in addition to my other cards, but only when, after I ask this, I see the front cover of the card deck come to my mind's eye.  I run a variety of different card covers through my mind and see if they stick when I go to take them away.  Those that stick, I gather in front of me.  Then I ask how many cards I should select each time I open a deck.  It's usually between 1-3. I keep a diary of the cards I pull so I can go back and see which cards I pulled that morning and see the set of events that unfolded... a real faith booster!

I hope these tips help. If you feel angst in regards to ensuring you find that right person for you, be sure to watch Matt Kahn's video above, click on the links throughout this article, and, above all else, AWAKEN.  Awakening is always the quickest ways to your own personal heaven on Earth. The video and links go into much greater detail than I have here, but the big take away is to love yourself, go forth in the name of love when prompted, then let go and let God and watch the magic happen. Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.

See also this article in The Huffington Post "The 10 Elements of a Soulmate".


APOPHYLLITE WITH STILLBITE CLUSTER = Attracts and finds a life-long mate.

ROSE QUARTZ = Invites love into your life.  It opens your heart to receive love and gently reminds you that you are worthy of love. Wear this stone or keep it by your bedside to remind you that love is coming your way.

MALACHITE = The beautiful green swirls in this stone help to usher away hurtful memories.  Malachite works quickly and diligently to clear away painful heartache and make way for new love.  Try sleeping with this stone on your heart chakra.  Alternately, you can wear the stone as a pendant over your heart or you can sleep it with it under the pillow. 

RHODOCROSITE = The lovely marbling of pinks and whites in this stone helps us to unite the different aspects of our personality so that we can learn to truly love ourselves.  The only way to bring true, authentic love into your life is to love yourself first.  Rhodocrosite helps you to appreciate yourself as it teaches that you are worthy of love, health and happiness.

RHODONITE = The pinks and blacks in this stone remind us that affairs of the heart are often painful.  Rhodonite is the Stone of Forgiveness and it will help you to let go of any pain from a past relationship with an attitude of love and forgiveness as it gently cleanses your aura of hurt, anger, regret and bitterness.

GREEN AVENTURINE = Known as the Stone of Love and Luck, carrying this stone with you will increase your confidence and your luck at attracting new love into your life.  It'll bring you that first date as well as luck with how it goes. It’s also known as a Stone of Abundance, so keep one in your wallet to ensure new financial resources too!

APACHE TEAR = This form of Obsidian is known to absorb depression, grief and negativity.  Legends say that as the Apache women and children watched their men die in battle to save their land and way of life, they cried rivers of tears.  These tears hardened into these Obsidian stones which we call Apache Tears.  The legend says that whoever holds an Apache Tear will never grieve again.  Carry this stone with you to help absorb any sadness you may be carrying in your heart.

CITRINE = This joyful, sunny stone is known as the Stone of Success.  It will help make you feel more empowered, confident and sure of yourself.  Carry this stone or wear it as jewelry to enhance your self-esteem, confidence and joy.


Why You Must Love Yourself

Think you love yourself?  Think again.  I used to get so frustrated when someone would talk to me about loving myself. I would say, “I DO love myself!”… I’d enjoy myself, I’d go on dates, I’d have fun, I’d do all my favorite things, buy my favorite things, I’d laugh. I’d wonder what more I could do?

Here are some indicators I learned that showed me I may not be as close to loving myself as I thought (and why):

If You Judge Others
If you are judging others, it means you are actually judging yourself for judging them. And that’s because you know, if you were that way (a liar, a cheater, etc.), you wouldn’t believe you are worthy of love (by God or anyone else) so how do these people get off?  The truth is we are loved no matter what by God and the entire universe as we stumble around and discover who we truly are.  They’re setting the example!  But what we tend to do is think we need to be perfect and we squelch those characteristics in ourselves or hide them from others as best we can.   Judging someone for the same behavior we run away from in ourselves only perpetuates that behavior and keeps it in our lives in a way that makes it manifest in very weird ways we can’t control… blurting out things inappropriately, losing our temper out of nowhere, crying for no reason, etc. So what can you do?  When you find yourself judging someone, talk to yourself (in your mind) and assure YOU that you love yourself despite you judging that other person. Then, if you want to make real progress, you also look at that person and respect the power of what they’re saying (not the behavior, but the power of it… how it makes you react, grips your heart, makes you want to run, etc.). When you stop and face it in this way, it’s like you dissipate the behavior itself and absorb the power back into yourself instead of giving your own power away to them by allowing them to cause you to react or act out against them (or have a bad day following). Life is all about presenting you with these opportunities for self healing. You’ll keep experiencing these things you judge till you finally love yourself enough to inadvertently love them too (in that order).  Try this exercise and see for yourself.  It works!

If you have something happen and end up talking about it with everyone you know for awhile
This means you’re lacking confidence in your own decision making and are looking for validation from others.  It also means you’re still addicted to drama.  When you love yourself, you learn to drop the drama and get back to what’s important in life… being your true authentic self… the beingness… the aliveness in your body in this moment not worrying about the future or dwelling on the past.  Letting go of the future and past and remaining here in the stillness of your true self is the most powerful way to show the universe (and your higher self) that you trust it completely, have faith in your spirit guides and angels bringing out the best possible outcome, and you allow the real magic and power to happen in your life.  You learn to go within for your answers and accept any consequences that result having the best possible attitude (self talk) about those consequences as always being a gift (see also my article “It’s All Just Energy“). Of course, if you do need to ask for advice on things periodically, just have the attitude that you’re still in the process of building confidence and will just need some “spotting” from time to time… that you’re just fine being just how you are right now!  This will help cultivate your intuition (our direct guidance from God and his angels once we quiet our minds enough to receive).  Ask yourself what you get intuitively about a subject THEN ask what someone else gets (then also see what ultimately happens).  You can develop confidence in your guidance this way (by checking in yourself first).

If someone compliments you and you get embarrassed, minimize it, or wonder what their motive is
If someone compliments you, take it!  If they insult you, don’t take it.  Why?  Because you decide what you believe and how you take it.  Don’t listen to criticism unless you can do so in a purely objective way.  If you have a strong love for yourself, you take compliments well and don’t get off kilter if someone doesn’t like something about you… or all of you.  In fact, if your self talk in your mind is so loving and accepting you’re your own best friend, you’ll wonder what’s wrong with anyone who disapproves… and get away from them.  It’d be like looking at a toxic spill pondering whether you’d like to go play in it.  No!  Get the heck away from toxicity of any form! You don’t have time for that.  Just move on to better, more uplifting friends and environments!

If you go on a date with a cute guy, he (sincerely) acts nuts about you, and you wonder what’s wrong with him
This is why it’s so important we love ourselves before we find the right guy.  You don’t want to end up pushing him away every time he compliments you, is faithful to you, shows you public displays of affection, looks you in the eyes and tells you how madly in love he is.  If you don’t think a man could pour it on thick and you’d be able to handle it, you’ve got to cultivate more love for yourself until the voice in your head sounds just like his!  Assure yourself of how beautiful, talented, unique, special, and amazing you are every second, every minute all day long.  We really don’t encourage this in our society, but it’s crucial.  And, no, it’s not conceited or selfish.  In fact, the more we truly (and sincerely) love ourselves, the more loving we are to others. That’s the truth.

If you can’t look in the mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and say “I love you”
Obviously, if you can’t do this, you haven’t reached this level of intimacy with yourself and it’ll be hard to do the same with someone else.  Sometimes we think, if we just love this other person enough, it’ll make up for the lack of love I have for myself, but it doesn’t work that way.  You’ll end up in a dysfunctional mess of projection and more self defeating behavior trying to gain someone else’s love when it’s really your love you’re actually striving for without realizing.  Practice saying I love you to yourself (and meaning it) as often as you can.  Make funny faces at yourself, smile lovingly, wink, whatever, but let it be loving and unconditionally accepting.  If someone was just critical of you, run to a mirror and tell yourself what YOU think of what they said (“You’re so sweet… I don’t care what anyone says… you’re aces in my book.  You’ve got such a big heart so don’t be fooled by their projections.  I’ll cut you slack even if they won’t. You can do no wrong as far as I’m concerned. I love you no matter what. You can try to be awful, but I’ll just see through it and tell you the truth.”)

If you’re staying in an obviously unhealthy relationship, you wouldn’t advise your best friend to stay in if your rolls were reversed, because you want it to get better fixating on the parts that are great
This is a very common one and that’s ok.  If you’re in this position right now, that’s ok.  It’s all ok.  You’re there for a reason, though, and that’s what you’re after… that’s the gem.  Life isn’t about whether or not your marriage will last, whether your kids make it to college, or whether you are going to ‘make it’ in the world. If you’re so enthralled in your relationship that you will accept ill treatment, you just don’t love yourself enough and you’re focusing on meaningless pursuits (worldly gain).  This is a good indicator that you need to get back to who/what you truly are, get back in the moment, and trust the guidance given you from the “Kingdom of God within” (the stillness in you).  Learn to trust that.  It is your greatest protection.  If you’re struggling with whether to stay or not, and there’s verbal or physical anguish, you’re there to learn a lesson and move on.  When you do so, you will be loving yourself and opening yourself up to someone else in the future who actually love themselves, too, so you can have a healthy relationship that thrives and nourishes you in meaningful ways.

If someone offers you a raise and you insist someone else is better for the job or wonder why they chose you
If someone deems you worthy of a raise, there’s a reason.  And, if you can’t see that reason, trust them and search to find it.  Start making a list of why you are valuable in all areas of your life.  What are you naturally talented at?  Where do you feel you exhibit loving tendencies?  How do you take care of yourself on a daily basis?  What obstacles have you overcome?  Keep a notepad on you and keep a running list browsing through this list from time to time during breaks throughout your day.  Keep a running commentary of how lovely you are as you go about your day.  Notice when you do something sweet, funny, charming, or kind.  Give yourself encouragement like you would a friend.

Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.


ROSE QUARTZ = inner peace, love for one's self, sensitivity, compassion, puts you in a state of mind that allows you to receive love. If you are suffering from lost or unrequited love it will help to comfort you; if you have been betrayed in love it will help bring back faith and trust, as well as a sense of self-worth and self-esteem; if you have simply never been in love, it will open up all the possibilities of falling in love.
rose quartz + chrysocolla is used to calm a volatile or rocky relationship.
rose quartz + watermelon tourmaline is used for overcoming nerves or fear related to love.
rose quartz with chrysoprase is believed to be useful in overcoming jealousy.

MOONSTONE = cultivates passion, romance, sexual energy
moonstone + rhodonite = help bury old feelings and memories of past affairs

KUNZITE = romance and marriage. reduce stress and depression. It is often used by those suffering from a wounded heart

LAPIZ LAZULI = overcome shyness and timidity, bringing inner harmony and increasing your spiritual levels, whilst helping to win over the affection of others. It is also thought to enhance fidelity within marriage.
RHODONITE = is a stone of self love. Also known as a "rescue stone", rhondonite is believed to ease away love scars and bring on forgiveness in others.
SAPPHIRE = is the stone often used as a pledge of love, and sometimes known as the gem of new love. Encourages trust and commitment and is often used when loved ones are apart for long periods of time, gifted as a sign of commitment. Sapphire helps to create mental clarity, and also assists in finding new love, helping to build that initial bond and harmony.
JADE = can attract and enhance love of all kinds. It is also a stone of fidelity and generosity. It is also considered to be good for the physical heart and for emotional balance and stability.
AZURITE, CHRYSOCOLLA, AQUAMARINE, RUBY, MOONSTONE, OR ROSE QUARTZ = increase your self-confidence and feelings of self-worth
HEMATITE OR ROSE QUARTZ = To Raise your self-esteem
MOONSTONE, ROSE QUARTZ, OR PINK KUNZITE = To improve your self-image