Amy Satori

Intuitive Spiritual Counselor

817-219-8831

Filtering by Category: Relationships

I love when he...

I'd share one of my favorite tools for clearing out our old relationship stuff and bringing in the new, more ideal love you desire.

First off, I'd like to recommend my exercise "Thank You, God, for my Misery" for those of you who still harbor any kind of ill feelings against a former partner. That's first and foremost because it's important to not bring that baggage into this wonderful new person's experience of you.

Next, I recommend reading my article "Why You Must Love Yourself First" to be sure your inner beliefs and dialogue is properly supporting you because this new relationship is not going to fill any holes for you. That's your responsibility. In fact, if you think they'll make your life easier, think again. Yes, maybe in some ways, but, ultimately, they will trigger you and bring out your deepest fears... this is just the start of a new, deeper journey into your unhealed pain. Read "Not to Pop Your Bubble" if you have been thinking this relationship is all you need to make you happy.

Okay!  Now that you've done a little homework and you're ready, we're to the fun part. I suggest making a list of things you love about all your ex's and even your guy friends. It'll look like this:

I love when he comes up behind me and kisses my neck
I love that he laughs at my quirkiness and respects my uniqueness
I love when we can't help but hold hands everywhere we go
I love when we look deep into each others eyes and smile knowingly
I love when he totally gets me and the look he's giving me says it all
I love that he's financially responsible
I love that he takes me out on a date once a week come rain or shine
I love when he surprises me
I love that he plans all the details to our upcoming trips with my preferences in mind
I love that I can tell him anything and he doesn't jump to conclusions. He listens with an open heart and mind unguarded.
I love that he tells me the truth no matter how hard it may be
I love that I feel good about myself being in his presence
I love how we compromise and work together easily on any endeavor
I love how attracted we are to each other
I love how playful we are and that we don't take life too seriously
I love the way we support and encourage each other in our passions
I love when he lets me know he's thinking of me
I love when he makes me dinner or we make dinner together
I love cuddling with him
I love that it's so easy to trust him
I love when he does sweet little considerate things for me unexpectedly
I love that he inspires me to be a better person without any judgment
I love that he listens with kindness and compassion

Try it... you'll like it!  Make your list and read through it as often as you like. You can visualize or feel into each of these statements without a face rather than having to think about your ex or whoever inspired the statement. The idea is to FEEL as if it's already in your life. Don't be afraid to think of a specific person... the universe will bring the right one anyway and loves a good surprise. :)

Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.
 

 

 

 

Not to Pop Your Bubble

(Why What We Want Won't Make Us Happy)
 

The most frequently asked questions I get are "When am I going to meet my new guy/girl?", "What school will I go to?",  "Will I get this job I want?",  "Will my son ever stop being an addict (or some other variation of something that needs to change)?",  "What is my life purpose?",  "Am I on track in my life?",  "What's my ideal career?", "What's the root of my illness?",  "Will my book publish?". But what are they actually looking for?  Happiness. 

Then, once I give them intuitive probabilities, the questions come "When will this happen?" "But how is this going to happen when _______?", "But what if _______?", "How will I get this job/apartment/lover when I don't have ______ that qualifies me as a good fit?"

Often times, their guides have me tell them, "I will only give you ONE step. Once you take that step, I will give you another."  Why is it they do that?  Are they just trying to torture us?  Why can't we see 15 steps into the future and have it all planned out?  I talked with a panel of archangels once who joked about this, "Afterall, this is the purpose and joy of it all... to know all that is to come, yes?" and everyone laughed and they said, "your laughter made our point".

The answer is all of these things are just carrots dangling, but you'll never really get "there" until you go within for your answers and here is why:

Right now is the only moment that ever really exists.  There's a wellspring that pours through a portal into your experience.  That portal and wellspring is you in this moment.  What I mean by moment is literally right now as you're reading this... that feeling that you are alive... that tingling in your body... that concentration as you read this.  Not what your mind drifts off to in your imagination which is essentially all your past and future are... your imagination. 

The thing is why would you spend your precious now, the very vessel from which all creation is pouring forth through, on all of these ponderings of the future or dwellings of the past (and the ensuing feelings of worry or guilt attached) when you have this wellspring of peace, joy, and contentment right here and now when you clear the other stuff away?  We have all the answers here and now kind of like when a pipe bursts and all the water shoots out of one spot with great pressure.  When you don't spread your energy around with many holes all over the pipe, making the water seep out slowly, you concentrate all your energy on the one hole... now... and all of the knowledge of all of the water comes through you with great power and certainty. 

It's also like these various colored light filters put over cameras in the movies.  You have red, blue, yellow, and such. It's like a thin film they put over a light that then can turn the whole room red, green, or whatever.  When your wellspring is pouring through a filter of red (let's say the past), everything in the room turns red.  Same thing with the other colors.  But when you don't put a filter on the camera (your feeling state is contentment, freedom, and your mind is clear), you see everything just the way it is.

Also, many people don't realize this, but allowing the wellspring to pour through purely and untainted, you are also bringing forth into your reality the best possible solutions and outcomes according to your very best and highest good from the perspective of your higher self who is much wiser and has seen your life from a birds eye view and has your very best interests at heart at all times. Who better would you like to have running your life?  You with your many biases and judgements or the you who knows the true desires of your heart?  It is also ultimate vulnerability which is a two sided coin as it's also our ultimate power.  It's telling God "You just operate through me here. I trust you. I surrender this to you." After you reach this level of surrender in the moment every moment, it's like the whole universe conspires to make your every wish come true.

You think, once you find that great relationship, it's going to be happily ever after?  No. That's when the work begins.  Once you reach what you want, you'll then have a whole new set of things to ponder and worry about. "What will I do when they get mad at me?", "What if they fall in love with someone else down the road?", "Will they accept this about me?"... the list goes on and on and ON.  All tricks of the ego trying to keep your anywhere but here now. Why?  Because that's where the ego exists and it tries to convince you that you need it by telling you IT has all the answers if only you'd do this or that different.  But you don't need it at all. It's just a trick to keep you from freedom.

I'm not just saying this because it's a great theory I've read about in a book, although I do highly recommend Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth if you want to understand all of this in depth, but I am speaking from direct experience.  I have been enlightened and I know our true nature and what we're capable of as human beings.  We've become convinced, through societal programming, that worry, thinking, analyzing, and controlling everything are what bring about the results we want.  It couldn't be more untrue.  Truly surrendering to this moment every moment is not only going to bring you what you want, but the satisfaction with whatever it is that comes as well because you'll be living in the ultimate freedom... living in eager anticipation and joy of every moment that pours through the wellspring like staring into a fire fascinated by it's various forms as it moves about enchanting us with its dance. Why do you think we love staring into a fire?  It symbolizes us. 

If you truly want to be happy, my suggestion is to become very best friends with right now and make now the most important moment of your life.  Stay in a state of awe and wonder at the things that unfold like a child experiencing things for the first time.  Stay in a state of joy, eager anticipation & expansion in your heart. THEN you'll see what happiness really is... you coming back to your natural state again resting in the "Kingdom of God within".  This is your ultimate "present"... living in the present.

Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.

Vulnerability

What is authenticity?  I think it's being willing to take risks and admit the ugly things our egos want us to hide through denial, lack of self awareness, or fear.  I've been told by friends I'm one of the most genuine people they know but I still catch myself hiding,  holding back, and being scared to be myself out of fear of rejection, etc.  It's ingrained in us to people please since we were small.  How is a doctor supposed to make the proper diagnosis and recommendations when they don't have all the information?  How do we know our friends like us or who we're pretending to be? Why is being honest such a rare trait?  I think we have to learn to be authentic and vulnerable with who we are if we have any chance at being happy. 

Here's what I've come to believe about honesty versus dishonesty:

 

Dishonesty is a huge time waster and causes undue stress. For me, if I'm dishonest, I'll never know the truth because whatever I get was based on the false information I provided (like in the doctor scenario).  If you pretend to be someone you're not, how will you ever know someone loves you?  Talk about setting yourself up for misery.   One time I showed up at a new guy's place I'd never met in sweats, no makeup, and my hair hadn't been washed in days (I was sick and he knew that and had invited me over as is) in a deliberate attempt to see if he'd like me despite.  I could have taken a shower and dolled myself up, but ultimately figured, if he's ok with me looking like this, he'll definitely be ok with me all done up.  I like to get the hard part over with right up front so, if it doesn't work, you'll know right away.  But, if it does, it can only get better from there.  I'm not talking about telling someone every little horrible thing about your life at first glance necessarily (although I kind of do that in this website, but that's for your benefit).  I'm merely recommending to tell the truth. Let people know where you're at, what you think, and what you feel.  If you're truly vulnerable, and they meet you at that heart level back, you've got something.  And wouldn't you just love to surround yourself with others who meet you at the same level of vulnerability?  If they don't meet you there, it's better to find out sooner than later.  If you're lying, you'll always wonder when they'll figure it out.  It's stress you don't need. 

Vulnerability makes others want to open up to you. When you're totally yourself, you help others relax and feel they can be themselves with you too.  It causes a deeper connection of trust and makes for a much more interesting time.  You give them permission to embrace the totality of themselves as well.  If they don't like what you're about, you just find new friends who do till you've found your "tribe" so to speak.

It's just the ego.  That's all dishonesty is.  The ego tries to trick us to play it safe all the time, but it's really just trying to keep alive.  If we become free of the ego and essentially all that makes us overly identified as this person we are (the experience of pain) instead of the being we are beyond it, the ego has no place. How best to ensure its survival than to make you worry about how you measure up and whether or not you're approved of?  One way of combating the ego is to respect and embrace it.  It doesn't even take courage. It just takes shifting your priorities from ego-preservation to a place of embracing yourself both bad and good.  Lucky for others, it happens to work in reverse as well. Accepting yourself allows you to accept others and vice versa.

Vulnerability makes you feel alive.  Although true authenticity is enlightenment, we can get glimpses of freedom from taking these miniature free falls every day in as many ways as possible.  I always suggest clients follow every "yes" - meaning, wherever you go, whatever you do, look at what in your environment is calling to you.  It may be a bird chirping, someone wanting to connect with you, or a rainbow.  But take in that yes fully.  When you say yes back to yes, or yes says yes back to you, that's powerful and feeds the soul. It's invigorating to be vulnerable.

You can't be disappointed if you've got your own back. When someone says to me, "But you're so vulnerable. What if you get ridiculed, hurt, or betrayed?" like that would be the worst thing to happen.  Those who get disappointed or hurt by being rejected or having a friend betray you and tell all their secrets just doesn't understand the way life works.  Life is not about the shoe being about to drop and how to avoid that... it's about learning how to self-soothe and support yourself to the extent that, no matter what happens to you, you know you have your own back.  You are your own best friend.  You would see whatever happens as a good thing... not a bad thing.  Have you ever noticed some of the best memories we share when we hang out with family and friends were when mistakes were made and someone was vulnerable?  Know that everything always works out with your best interest in mind and you'll be safe from any seeming 'danger' out there.  I encourage you to listen to my podcast on positivity or try the "Thank you, God, for my misery" exercise.  How can someone ever hurt you if everything is perceived as good in your world?

Real power lies in vulnerability. The more vulnerable you are, the more powerful you are because you're free. I always tell my clients the most powerful thing they can do to protect themselves is to drop all stories and get in the moment. If a story persists, respect and embrace it completely then get back in the moment. Why? Magic happens in this place. There's an awesome quote from a wise man that says something to the effect of "When one turns his face to God, the whole world stops, turns, and begins conspiring to create miracles for you"... and it's so true.  God is in that state of presence (The Kingdom of God is within). Turn to face God and all will work out in your favor.  Trust me. I've seen it first hand time and again.  The unseen world wants nothing more than to build our faith!  Be brave, be bold, and go forth, my friends... and be a witness to this universal truth.

"Being vulnerable forces you to dive into the insecurity and bypass the ego completely.  When you don't allow the ego to do what it wants to do, you go underneath it, essentially, into the total vulnerability which is like backing up into this spaciousness which is the identity which exists beyond your self concept... your eternal self. And the eternal self can then come in and start to parent the ego self." ~ Teal Swan
"Do you know why we fight against others? Because we're afraid to die.  And only when you're willing to die do you know what it is to live.  How do you surrender?  Be willing to die... not physically, but psychologically and emotionally... let your fight die. Let your fight die or you will die fighting. And that, my friends, is the worst case scenario.  Commit that no matter how scared, inferior, insecure, lonely, and vulnerable it makes you feel, you will let your fight die." ~ Matt Kahn, The End of the Old Paradigm
Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.

RECOMMENDED ROCKS

SODALITE, SAPPHIRE, AQUAMARINE, BLUE TOPAZ, AND CHRYSOCOLLA =  All great stones for communication. Use them to bring self-confidence when public speaking, to help you to speak up for yourself, to be able to explain things in an easy to understand way, to overcome shyness, to be able to speak more clearly and freely , to be able to express yourself better emotionally, and to improve your relationships by keeping communication lines open. These stones work best when worn as a pendant that hangs close to the throat, but they can also be worn as earrings, or held, or carried in your pocket.
 

 

Attracting Your Soulmate

There comes a point in your life when you've had about as many lessons (over and over) as you can stand to bear with sexual partners before realizing you have to go deeper if you want something to last... perhaps a lifetime. I get so many questions from people who are at this point in their journey so I thought I'd share my take on finding "the one" (I don't believe we're ever really looking for 'the next'). There are basically two types of partners you can attract... those who help you learn evolutionary lessons along your path through conflict and contrast and those who join with you along the way and hold your hand encouraging you while you both learn and grow. Although it's rare, one can turn into the other.  Some people reverse these terms, but here's the gist:

Matt Kahn confused everyone in this video switching what we label the soulmate or twinflame. So, for simplicity sake, I'm going to keep it like everyone knows it... twin flame is "the one". Karmic is "the lesson". I love his advice in this video, however, so here it is.

Karmic relationships always seem to involve instant gratification, doubt, confusion, manipulation, trickery, lies, and pain.  If our great teacher, ego, is influencing your relationship, you will use these things to get what you want or they will be using these things to get what they want out of you. In some cases, your karmic even sense when you are about to find your soulmate and attempt to sabotage you subconsciously.  This is why suddenly, you'll get a rush of guys/girls asking you out all at once when you become interested in someone with long term potential. If you want the best relationship for you, it is important that you push past these karmics so the real deal can come to the forefront. Otherwise, you'll be too distracted and your heart won't be available till you realize what's going on and what you'll possibly miss out on if you continue to stay stuck in the karmic's web.

In order to see you through to success, I'd like to explain the role of the higher self so you understand how we get in the way.  Your higher self is always trying to orchestrate the most incredible sets of events in your life that will leave you in awe and wonderment.  It's lining up that perfect job, the perfect relationship, the best friends you could possibly have, and all the money you'll even need, etc. But their job depends on how well we do our job.  When we are a clear channel for divine guidance and are in the moment (not dwelling on the past or looking for fulfillment in the future), you are clearly guided as to each step you need to take to get you there.  Your only job is to stay in the moment and feel as high a vibration as possible so you attract the best possible outcomes. Joy, excitement, eager anticipation, daydreaming in such a way that you have already attained it, patient persistence, knowing, and faith bring these things through to manifest in your life. Thinking, worry, doubt, and all the ego's tricks we talked about slow down or hault those things from coming altogether. It is highly advantageous to continuously "Let go and let God". Remember, when things don't work out with someone you had hopes in, that your higher self has someone perfect coming so it has to weed those people out. Don't take it as a disappointment, take it as encouragement that you're one candidate (experience you learned from ) closer to what God has in store for you.

Twin flames are like a divine reward.  As the American writer Richard Bach said, “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are.” These may feel a little slower than you'd like or are used to at first because it feels like there's a lot at stake and both of you don't want to make a wrong step.  It may even sneak up on you and blindside you. Often times there is an age difference and/or they may not be your "type", but don't go by your typical list of what you look for in someone... this person is in a league all their own.  It can be a practice in patience initially, but there's also a sense of clarity and a knowing that this interest could be worth the wait. There's a certain respect to taking your time and faith in this trusting of divine timing listening to the prompting of your heart and intuition as intimacy naturally deepens between you almost as if you didn't have a thing to do with it.  In the process of such a relationship blossoming, you are encouraged by the universe to continuously come back to the moment and ripen to the potential through a maturation process.  Many people, when they do meet their twin flame, feel a strong gravitational pull towards them. Listen to your intuition on this because you don't want to try to force it to happen (you may be twins, but each of you ultimately has free will) yet you do want to be sure to respond willingly when you're prompted by the universe to take action even if it's terribly uncomfortable. Once you've reached a certain level of comfort, it will just start to flow and be easier than relationships of the past. It's easier to understand each other, "get" where the other person is coming from, forgive, and compromise. There's not so much power struggle, but a team effort toward you both being happy separately as well as together. There also could be an automatic trust and comfort that unfolds naturally unlike you've had before.  Partially, this is due to you having many past lifetimes together (familiarity, comfort).

So, why are we drawn to the karmics?  Well, let's face it, if karmics weren't so enticing, why would we go through a karmic relationship knowing full well there will be pain involved? We're usually more drawn to them when we are thinking something outside of us is going to make us happy (see my podcast on addictions to learn more) instead of going within and loving yourself then allowing this other person to be a compliment to your life rather than having lofty expectations they're bound to fall short of leaving you disappointed. If you are seeking, you are probably going to pull in a karmic so you can have a lesson that points you back to learning to love yourself. If you are happy being as you are, you're likely to attract your twin flame. If you fluctuate between looking and loving yourself, you'll probably attract both to you so you have to be wise and discerning. Just as a fire that starts fast and fierce so too burns out quickly, so does any relationship that is too passionate too fast (even friendships). Take your time... it'll be worth it.

What's the purpose?  I've often thought having a significant other like this was somewhat of a distraction from enlightenment and felt weak for caving in and getting back into another relationship when I felt my priority needed to be my spirituality.  A part of me felt bad for even desiring a relationship. But I've learned the karmic relationship has a grand purpose far greater than mere relationships.  They are against all logic.  They are against all odds.  They are renegades.  They inspire those who see them, hear about them, and watch them come together and flourish.  They inspire romantic comedies just like Christmas movies make us cry and inspire us to have faith and hope again.  They lift up the vibration of this planet and are incredibly healing not only to those individuals lucky enough to unite, but for the family, friends, general public, and the collective as a whole. A twin flame environment is also the most conducive to achieving enlightenment if you think about it.  In fact, if you strive to awaken before uniting, so will they (because you are psychically connected) and, then, when you come together, you can awaken to an even deeper level together remembering to keep your eye on heaven always above your relationship (ie. stay present and don't get caught up in the dramas of life). True love and being present make you feel safe, secure, and loved. You can allow yourself to sink into this partnership and experience true freedom only this kind of love provides. 

How to gain clarification as you go?  These are some tools to use to help you decipher whether this is a karmic or twin flame and when or how to take loving action:

INTUITION:  Your intuition is your best guide. When you're aligned with your natural guidance and intuition, you will feel prompted to take loving action (without a big built up story of how you'll do it or how they'll respond), because it's coming from pure divine prompting without expectation. You may not know why you're prompted but you listen because you know this guidance comes to you for your best and highest good. If you're accustomed to listening to your intuition, you've probably already experienced miracles happening as a result of this blind following of the promptings. This means casting your fears and ego aside and just doing what feels right and true to you deep down.

TALK TO HIS/HER HIGHER SELF:  If you have an idea who this could be, send them blessings and see what you get back.  It's like a ping in computer terms.  You'd be surprised what you get.  If this is your twin, you'll start to receive information or reciprocation from them. You may even start to feel things they feel, or sense when they're thinking of you.  Some have even reported heart palpitations, tingling, intuitive hits/flashes, or feeling incredibly turned on out of nowhere for no reason.  If you do energy work, you may start to see their energy field overlay with yours... sort of a merging of your energy fields. 

PRAYER:  A couple examples of prayers to try are "I accept that I can't tell who's a twin flame and who's a soul mate right now so I call up on the light of the universe to please make it very clear to me which is which so I will not doubt which direction calls me on my behalf and for the benefit of all. That I am now. So be it." or"I accept that I don't know how to make this thing happen so I call up on the light of the universe to please step in on my behalf and bring us together on our behalf and for the betterment of all. That I am now. So be it."

DREAMS: You can also ask Archangel Michael, upon going to bed at night, to remove subconscious blocks and give you guidance in your sleep.  He's excellent at helping clarify. Ask about a specific person and for the truth to be shown.  You can also get a dream book on relationships to help decipher, but the general gist is that, if you feel good in the dream, it's a good sign.  Working on a project together rather than merely being passionate, is a sign of long term potential.  Even loving or marrying a family member is a good sign 'cause it indicates this person feels like family.  It's all about how the dream makes you feel.

MEDITATION:  I do qigong every morning then sit quietly for about 5 minutes just asking if there's anything they (my divine guidance system) would like to tell me about today.  Then I wait for images, feelings, or promptings to arise.  You could ask specifics as well.

PENDULUMS: When looking for a pendulum, hold it out in front of your heart and ask what it's 'yes' looks like then ask what it's 'no' looks like (without influencing it).  Then ask if the pendulum likes you. If the pendulum responds well to you, you can use this pendulum every time you need to clarify anything you couldn't quite decode in your meditation or in a sign that comes to you.   There are some great Youtube videos on how to use a pendulum, but this is my favorite set of videos.

CRYSTAL GRIDS: A crystal grid is essentially a prayer request in the form of rocks or crystals. Combining feng shui, you can set up a crystal grid in the love area of your room.  This video I've attached shows one type of love grid, but, you can lay your rocks and gems out any way you'd like.  It's really just about your intention and using things that symbolize what's important to you in a relationship.  And, before creating any grid that involves others, make sure you state that you create this grid according to your and the other person's highest good and within their free will preferences. This way you are not intruding on anyone's free will. This is a very important law of the universe I encourage everyone to follow. I do not even send healing energy to anyone unless they've given me permission first.

ORACLE CARDS: After qigong and my 5 minute meditation, I ask if there are some cards I should pull to give me guidance for the day.  If I have a love interest, I may pull Doreen Virtue's Romance Cards in addition to my other cards, but only when, after I ask this, I see the front cover of the card deck come to my mind's eye.  I run a variety of different card covers through my mind and see if they stick when I go to take them away.  Those that stick, I gather in front of me.  Then I ask how many cards I should select each time I open a deck.  It's usually between 1-3. I keep a diary of the cards I pull so I can go back and see which cards I pulled that morning and see the set of events that unfolded... a real faith booster!

I hope these tips help. If you feel angst in regards to ensuring you find that right person for you, be sure to watch Matt Kahn's video above, click on the links throughout this article, and, above all else, AWAKEN.  Awakening is always the quickest ways to your own personal heaven on Earth. The video and links go into much greater detail than I have here, but the big take away is to love yourself, go forth in the name of love when prompted, then let go and let God and watch the magic happen. Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.

See also this article in The Huffington Post "The 10 Elements of a Soulmate".

RECOMMENDED ROCKS
TO ATTRACT LASTING LOVE

APOPHYLLITE WITH STILLBITE CLUSTER = Attracts and finds a life-long mate.

ROSE QUARTZ = Invites love into your life.  It opens your heart to receive love and gently reminds you that you are worthy of love. Wear this stone or keep it by your bedside to remind you that love is coming your way.

MALACHITE = The beautiful green swirls in this stone help to usher away hurtful memories.  Malachite works quickly and diligently to clear away painful heartache and make way for new love.  Try sleeping with this stone on your heart chakra.  Alternately, you can wear the stone as a pendant over your heart or you can sleep it with it under the pillow. 

RHODOCROSITE = The lovely marbling of pinks and whites in this stone helps us to unite the different aspects of our personality so that we can learn to truly love ourselves.  The only way to bring true, authentic love into your life is to love yourself first.  Rhodocrosite helps you to appreciate yourself as it teaches that you are worthy of love, health and happiness.

RHODONITE = The pinks and blacks in this stone remind us that affairs of the heart are often painful.  Rhodonite is the Stone of Forgiveness and it will help you to let go of any pain from a past relationship with an attitude of love and forgiveness as it gently cleanses your aura of hurt, anger, regret and bitterness.

GREEN AVENTURINE = Known as the Stone of Love and Luck, carrying this stone with you will increase your confidence and your luck at attracting new love into your life.  It'll bring you that first date as well as luck with how it goes. It’s also known as a Stone of Abundance, so keep one in your wallet to ensure new financial resources too!

APACHE TEAR = This form of Obsidian is known to absorb depression, grief and negativity.  Legends say that as the Apache women and children watched their men die in battle to save their land and way of life, they cried rivers of tears.  These tears hardened into these Obsidian stones which we call Apache Tears.  The legend says that whoever holds an Apache Tear will never grieve again.  Carry this stone with you to help absorb any sadness you may be carrying in your heart.

CITRINE = This joyful, sunny stone is known as the Stone of Success.  It will help make you feel more empowered, confident and sure of yourself.  Carry this stone or wear it as jewelry to enhance your self-esteem, confidence and joy.

 

Why You Must Love Yourself

Think you love yourself?  Think again.  I used to get so frustrated when someone would talk to me about loving myself. I would say, “I DO love myself!”… I’d enjoy myself, I’d go on dates, I’d have fun, I’d do all my favorite things, buy my favorite things, I’d laugh. I’d wonder what more I could do?

Here are some indicators I learned that showed me I may not be as close to loving myself as I thought (and why):

If You Judge Others
If you are judging others, it means you are actually judging yourself for judging them. And that’s because you know, if you were that way (a liar, a cheater, etc.), you wouldn’t believe you are worthy of love (by God or anyone else) so how do these people get off?  The truth is we are loved no matter what by God and the entire universe as we stumble around and discover who we truly are.  They’re setting the example!  But what we tend to do is think we need to be perfect and we squelch those characteristics in ourselves or hide them from others as best we can.   Judging someone for the same behavior we run away from in ourselves only perpetuates that behavior and keeps it in our lives in a way that makes it manifest in very weird ways we can’t control… blurting out things inappropriately, losing our temper out of nowhere, crying for no reason, etc. So what can you do?  When you find yourself judging someone, talk to yourself (in your mind) and assure YOU that you love yourself despite you judging that other person. Then, if you want to make real progress, you also look at that person and respect the power of what they’re saying (not the behavior, but the power of it… how it makes you react, grips your heart, makes you want to run, etc.). When you stop and face it in this way, it’s like you dissipate the behavior itself and absorb the power back into yourself instead of giving your own power away to them by allowing them to cause you to react or act out against them (or have a bad day following). Life is all about presenting you with these opportunities for self healing. You’ll keep experiencing these things you judge till you finally love yourself enough to inadvertently love them too (in that order).  Try this exercise and see for yourself.  It works!

If you have something happen and end up talking about it with everyone you know for awhile
This means you’re lacking confidence in your own decision making and are looking for validation from others.  It also means you’re still addicted to drama.  When you love yourself, you learn to drop the drama and get back to what’s important in life… being your true authentic self… the beingness… the aliveness in your body in this moment not worrying about the future or dwelling on the past.  Letting go of the future and past and remaining here in the stillness of your true self is the most powerful way to show the universe (and your higher self) that you trust it completely, have faith in your spirit guides and angels bringing out the best possible outcome, and you allow the real magic and power to happen in your life.  You learn to go within for your answers and accept any consequences that result having the best possible attitude (self talk) about those consequences as always being a gift (see also my article “It’s All Just Energy“). Of course, if you do need to ask for advice on things periodically, just have the attitude that you’re still in the process of building confidence and will just need some “spotting” from time to time… that you’re just fine being just how you are right now!  This will help cultivate your intuition (our direct guidance from God and his angels once we quiet our minds enough to receive).  Ask yourself what you get intuitively about a subject THEN ask what someone else gets (then also see what ultimately happens).  You can develop confidence in your guidance this way (by checking in yourself first).

If someone compliments you and you get embarrassed, minimize it, or wonder what their motive is
If someone compliments you, take it!  If they insult you, don’t take it.  Why?  Because you decide what you believe and how you take it.  Don’t listen to criticism unless you can do so in a purely objective way.  If you have a strong love for yourself, you take compliments well and don’t get off kilter if someone doesn’t like something about you… or all of you.  In fact, if your self talk in your mind is so loving and accepting you’re your own best friend, you’ll wonder what’s wrong with anyone who disapproves… and get away from them.  It’d be like looking at a toxic spill pondering whether you’d like to go play in it.  No!  Get the heck away from toxicity of any form! You don’t have time for that.  Just move on to better, more uplifting friends and environments!

If you go on a date with a cute guy, he (sincerely) acts nuts about you, and you wonder what’s wrong with him
This is why it’s so important we love ourselves before we find the right guy.  You don’t want to end up pushing him away every time he compliments you, is faithful to you, shows you public displays of affection, looks you in the eyes and tells you how madly in love he is.  If you don’t think a man could pour it on thick and you’d be able to handle it, you’ve got to cultivate more love for yourself until the voice in your head sounds just like his!  Assure yourself of how beautiful, talented, unique, special, and amazing you are every second, every minute all day long.  We really don’t encourage this in our society, but it’s crucial.  And, no, it’s not conceited or selfish.  In fact, the more we truly (and sincerely) love ourselves, the more loving we are to others. That’s the truth.

If you can’t look in the mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and say “I love you”
Obviously, if you can’t do this, you haven’t reached this level of intimacy with yourself and it’ll be hard to do the same with someone else.  Sometimes we think, if we just love this other person enough, it’ll make up for the lack of love I have for myself, but it doesn’t work that way.  You’ll end up in a dysfunctional mess of projection and more self defeating behavior trying to gain someone else’s love when it’s really your love you’re actually striving for without realizing.  Practice saying I love you to yourself (and meaning it) as often as you can.  Make funny faces at yourself, smile lovingly, wink, whatever, but let it be loving and unconditionally accepting.  If someone was just critical of you, run to a mirror and tell yourself what YOU think of what they said (“You’re so sweet… I don’t care what anyone says… you’re aces in my book.  You’ve got such a big heart so don’t be fooled by their projections.  I’ll cut you slack even if they won’t. You can do no wrong as far as I’m concerned. I love you no matter what. You can try to be awful, but I’ll just see through it and tell you the truth.”)

If you’re staying in an obviously unhealthy relationship, you wouldn’t advise your best friend to stay in if your rolls were reversed, because you want it to get better fixating on the parts that are great
This is a very common one and that’s ok.  If you’re in this position right now, that’s ok.  It’s all ok.  You’re there for a reason, though, and that’s what you’re after… that’s the gem.  Life isn’t about whether or not your marriage will last, whether your kids make it to college, or whether you are going to ‘make it’ in the world. If you’re so enthralled in your relationship that you will accept ill treatment, you just don’t love yourself enough and you’re focusing on meaningless pursuits (worldly gain).  This is a good indicator that you need to get back to who/what you truly are, get back in the moment, and trust the guidance given you from the “Kingdom of God within” (the stillness in you).  Learn to trust that.  It is your greatest protection.  If you’re struggling with whether to stay or not, and there’s verbal or physical anguish, you’re there to learn a lesson and move on.  When you do so, you will be loving yourself and opening yourself up to someone else in the future who actually love themselves, too, so you can have a healthy relationship that thrives and nourishes you in meaningful ways.

If someone offers you a raise and you insist someone else is better for the job or wonder why they chose you
If someone deems you worthy of a raise, there’s a reason.  And, if you can’t see that reason, trust them and search to find it.  Start making a list of why you are valuable in all areas of your life.  What are you naturally talented at?  Where do you feel you exhibit loving tendencies?  How do you take care of yourself on a daily basis?  What obstacles have you overcome?  Keep a notepad on you and keep a running list browsing through this list from time to time during breaks throughout your day.  Keep a running commentary of how lovely you are as you go about your day.  Notice when you do something sweet, funny, charming, or kind.  Give yourself encouragement like you would a friend.

Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.

RECOMMENDED ROCKS
FOR LOVE

ROSE QUARTZ = inner peace, love for one's self, sensitivity, compassion, puts you in a state of mind that allows you to receive love. If you are suffering from lost or unrequited love it will help to comfort you; if you have been betrayed in love it will help bring back faith and trust, as well as a sense of self-worth and self-esteem; if you have simply never been in love, it will open up all the possibilities of falling in love.
rose quartz + chrysocolla is used to calm a volatile or rocky relationship.
rose quartz + watermelon tourmaline is used for overcoming nerves or fear related to love.
rose quartz with chrysoprase is believed to be useful in overcoming jealousy.

MOONSTONE = cultivates passion, romance, sexual energy
moonstone + rhodonite = help bury old feelings and memories of past affairs

KUNZITE = romance and marriage. reduce stress and depression. It is often used by those suffering from a wounded heart

LAPIZ LAZULI = overcome shyness and timidity, bringing inner harmony and increasing your spiritual levels, whilst helping to win over the affection of others. It is also thought to enhance fidelity within marriage.
RHODONITE = is a stone of self love. Also known as a "rescue stone", rhondonite is believed to ease away love scars and bring on forgiveness in others.
SAPPHIRE = is the stone often used as a pledge of love, and sometimes known as the gem of new love. Encourages trust and commitment and is often used when loved ones are apart for long periods of time, gifted as a sign of commitment. Sapphire helps to create mental clarity, and also assists in finding new love, helping to build that initial bond and harmony.
JADE = can attract and enhance love of all kinds. It is also a stone of fidelity and generosity. It is also considered to be good for the physical heart and for emotional balance and stability.
AZURITE, CHRYSOCOLLA, AQUAMARINE, RUBY, MOONSTONE, OR ROSE QUARTZ = increase your self-confidence and feelings of self-worth
HEMATITE OR ROSE QUARTZ = To Raise your self-esteem
MOONSTONE, ROSE QUARTZ, OR PINK KUNZITE = To improve your self-image
ROSE QUARTZ, RHODOCHROSITE, OR PINK KUNZITE =  To Learn to love yourself

It's All Just Energy

In the qigong classes I taught in Granbury, I often times got into some great conversations after class about how energy works and how to decrease stress because qigong is all about increasing chi and decreasing anything that depletes chi.  Of course, stress is one of the major chi-robbers out there.  I shared many of my own personal experiences and encouraged everyone to participate in exercises designed to get a real feel for what I was saying.

I think most people nowadays realize some basics of quantum physics and the law of attraction.  I’ve been experimenting for some time now to try and prove this to myself, in a tangible way, and I have to say I have complete faith in it now, but everyone needs to come to this place on their own if they desire to harness their full potential.  Here are five exercises you can try at home:

Thank you, God, for My Misery  (1 Thessalonians 5:18 says to Praise God in all circumstances)

Set aside some quiet time, light a candle, burn some incense, then make a list of things you don’t like about your life and phrase each list title like this, “Thank you, God, that I am so Broke.” Then list and number as many reasons as you can think of why, if God is good (and “he” IS), this is a GOOD thing that’s working in your favor. The point is, there is a gift in everything.  You just need to discover what it is. Here is Bashar video illustrating this idea perfectly.  The reason for the candle is to bring light, awareness, focus, and adding the incense brings a sacredness so you can feel you’re marking the beginning of something new instead of just plopping on the couch with kids screaming in the background (or whatever your typical environment is).

EXAMPLE: “Thank you, God, for my pain”
1.  It gives me an excuse to not go to that party I don’t want to go to
2.  It gets me sympathy which is the only time I really feel like I get any TLC
3.  I’m sure it probably keeps me humble.  If I didn’t have this nagging pain, I’d probably think I know everything!
4.  Because of this pain, I’ve met some really amazing people I’d never have met otherwise.
5.  Because of this pain, I’ve been able to help other people with similar symptoms/suffering as I’ve had and help them deal with it better.
6.  This pain shows me there’s more yet to be done on my life’s journey and makes me curious about other modalities for healing and to see how energy works in terms of healing myself.
7.  If I do energy work, pain shows me what emotional blockages I have in my body that need releasing so I can move through them and embrace a new view or philosophy.

Play with it and, even if you laugh at it, still write it down.  It counts!  There is some truth in it.  Try doing this exercise every time you have any complaint AT ALL for awhile and see what happens.  See how things in your life start to shift and see how spacious you begin to feel.

15 Minutes a Day of Reality Play

In Bashar’s “Brick Wall Beliefs”, he talks about the key to manifestation:

“When you attach certain kinds of beliefs to your motivational mechanism, you are automatically and immediately propelled in the direction of reinforcing that belief. The idea of this mechanism is that you are always motivated by this mechanism to do whatever it is you choose to do. There are two basic motivations: 1) that you will always move immediately in the direction of what it is you perceive or find to be more pleasurable and 2) move away from or define to be more painful. The key is in what you define, believe, or perceive to be pleasure or pain. There are many subconscious paradoxes. The key to manifesting is intention, focus, concentration, then letting go and surrendering allowing this mechanism to do it’s job on higher levels. You can’t skip the latter. Just imagine, for 15 minutes, about what you want and LET IT GO and REALLY know the job is done. Then go on to do what most excites you in any given moment (not what you do out of anxiety you’re telling yourself you enjoy as actual avoidance).”

So, try this with a buddy sometime… call each other up every night and each of you gets 15 minutes to talk about what’s going on in each others future life.  Ask each other questions just like you do now only you’re talking from the future.  Choose any subject and just go!

EXAMPLE (for singles)

Jill:  Hey, Pam, guess what?  My boyfriend called today and said he loved me.  He’s SO romantic.  I know how busy he was, but he took time out of his busy day to acknowledge me and make me feel special.  I’m so lucky to have found him.
Pam:  Oh, my gosh!  He is sooo sweet.  What else did he say?  Did he go on again about how you make him feel like the luckiest guy in the world for having found you?  Ugh.  You guys make me sick.  So, when are you guys going to the Bahamas?

Do this exercise just before bed every night if you can (to set the tone for having a great sleep) then wake up the next day and not think about how you’re going to make it happen.  Try it!

10 Minutes of Laughter

After you hang up with your friend, or if you guys end up doing the 15 minutes earlier in the day, you can try laughing for 10 minutes before bed and/or 10 minutes when you get up.  Of course, this works best if you’re single unless your partner has a pretty open mind, but it definitely works.  Another way to do this is laugh your way home from work and laugh all the way to work.  This is such a powerful way to immediately lift your vibration and relax you.  Also, if you do this regularly, and a stressful situation hits you unexpectedly, your auto reaction will be to laugh which automatically takes you to a better place from which you can think more clearly and keeps you from reacting negatively affecting your relationships with others involved.

When I started laughing before bed, my cat, Neo, would look at me like, “What?!” and I would laugh harder.  Then he started to think I was laughing at him so he started trying to figure out what it was that he was doing to make me laugh so he could do it more.  Now, he just goes crazy acting like a clown and takes all the credit for my ten minutes of laughter!  It’s great.

Something incredible is happening!

No matter what is happening in your life, good or bad, try saying something to yourself (make sure you believe it or it won’t work) like, “Something incredible is happening… I can just feel it!” and see how it feels to say that.  See how it shifts your energy.  You could try “A miracle is happening!”, “This is the most amazing time of my life”, “This is the point in a movie where somebody stumbles upon a destiny changing factor”…whatever makes you feel optimistic. Adding the word “now” can make it that much more powerful. “Everything that happens in my life is for my best now”, “I experience miracles every day now”, “My days are full of miracles and magic now”, “I have the midas touch now… everything I touch turns to gold!”

I faced a very scarey time once when I had just moved into a new place and was having very realistic nightmares and feeling like my feet were being played with at night.  My whole bed shook and vibrated when I would only wiggle a toe!  I felt watched and very uneasy.  One morning, after an intense nightmare, I actually fell out of bed straight onto my neck!  I couldn’t believe I lived!  I was pretty much momentarily terrified wondering if there were spirits in my new home wanting to harm me.  I had all these thoughts like, “I knew this was too good to be true” and had flashes of those couples being interviewed on those ghost hunting shows saying, “We were so grateful to have gotten such a good deal on the house and felt this was really a turning point in our lives when suddenly the worst chapter of our lives was about to unfold.”  I called every intuitive friend I could think of and tried to get to the bottom of it.  I was feeling quite fearful and was exhausted from the lack of sleep and peace of mind.

Suddenly, I thought, “How is this different than anything else I face?  What would I be telling my students?  How is this the same as a physical ailment?  It’s all energy!”  I laughed to think I’d gotten caught up in such a whirlwind of fear.  I started saying, “Something truly amazing is happening!  A miracle is unfolding!”.  Sure enough, I go to bed that night and read an OSHO book and open it right up to a chapter on ghosts!  WHAT?!  This was a 2-1/2″ book.  How did I happen to leave off just before a part on ghosts??  Then, a good friend of mine said she knew just who to get me in touch with who is really good at clearing energy (I am good at clearing energy…  it just feels reassuring sometimes to have reinforcements in such a personal matter where your own bias can get in the way).  After talking to this gal, we became immediate friends, she helped me clear the home, it now feels like a normal home, and we do the 15 Minutes a Day of Reality Play exercise with each other. I was also able to heal a friend who called to check on how I was doing through the ordeal and happened to have pain in her leg while talking to me.  I cleared up a long standing chronic condition for her over the phone BECAUSE she called me regarding this matter.  I also inspired many of my students who saw how I shifted the whole situation around to see it through to one big miracle.  I’m telling you, from personal experience, you can shift ANYTHING.  You just have to keep saying the mantra and wait for the magic!

Breathe in Pink, Breathe out Love

OSHO, in his book about raising children, gives an exercise in the back and I’ve just put a little personal twist on it… Wait.  First off, you must do this at a time when you can do it at least 5 times or don’t bother.  Ok, here goes…

Breathe in the color pink directly into your heart chakra (not into your physical heart) then, as you breathe out, imagine love transforming the world with your breath.  When I breathe in pink, I also smell magnolia flower because it’s been said to increase and magnify manifestation and because I once smelled the most beautiful magnolia and love bringing the memory of its smell back into my consciousness.  I’ll never forget that one little bud.

You can use this in any situation and at any time.  It has incredible transformative powers!  I used it in the above story every night before bed to get me through the fear.  Also, if I was woken up in the middle of the night, I did it to transform energy and get back to sleep.

I hope you’ll try at least one of these exercises for at least a week and that it will increase your faith in the power of energy! 

Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.

RECOMMENDED ROCKS
FOR ACCEPTANCE AND JOY

Crystals for Laughter (such as Sunstone, Carnelian and Citrine) = are amazing to raise those energies needed to manifest so don't forget them. Laughing is the ultimate healer.

Rose Quartz Brings unconditional love for oneself and others. It helps the process of allowing good things into your life.

Orange Spessartine = There doesn’t seem to be anything quite as bright and joyful. The vibrations and rays that emit from this striking crystal can fill us with pure bliss. It helps us find the joy in our lives that we have been missing and needing. Spessartine garnets are energy enhancers, and givers of joy. They are helpful in balancing the energy of the sacral chakra. With its orange color, Spessartine has the strength of the red rays joined with the powerful fire of the gold rays giving it the powers to combine, integrate, and unite. It is also reported by other practitioners to attract devotion, warmth, and understanding.

Sunrise Quartz Crystal =  It is a pure blend of orange and red hues. It offers you the joy and happiness of orange and the fire and passion of red. Sunrise Aura Quartz brings us orange, the color of joy and friendship. Joy is a pure emotion, an elusive one, but a heartfelt one. Often as people grow older, they lose the capacity for experiencing pure joy. It can be a simple delight or a deep, lasting feeling. If something seems to be missing but you can’t really describe it, perhaps a bit of the energy of the sunrise mixed in your daily life is needed. This Sunrise Aura Quartz is zest, life, and the burst of new ideas. Carry this crystal when you need inspiration. You will be inspired and motivated at the same time. The energy is quite potent.

Chrysocolla = A stone of feminine power used for creativity, dispelling anger, and easing fear.

White crystals (such as Howlite, Opalite and White Opal) = Help obtaining a clear mind; they also clear away the clutter and obstacles in your life. They purify your thoughts and thus your actions. White crystals bring forth, freedom, hope, cohesiveness, unity and remove inhibitions.

Moonstone = A crystal that helps you to re-structure your life at all levels. Moonstone, as the same name suggests, re-energizes well in moonlight and will be at its most powerful once cleansed, re-energized and programmed. If you practicing the law of attraction with this stone it will help bring your hopes and wishes to the fore. Be careful as it will give you what you need and not necessarily what you think you want. Moonstone calms the emotions and removes all negativity from all chakras. This is important if you want your desires to come to fruition as doubt can often creep in when setting intentions and consequently slow the whole process down. To call forth the New we have to get rid of the Old; this means that we need to get rid of old patterns of behaviour.

Kyanite = has a soothing tranquil nature and it is also known as the “Earth Stone”. This is an excellent stone for surfacing and dissolving old beliefs. It reminds us that everything happens for a purpose and we are ultimately in charge of our lives.  This is certainly true for me as I always find blessings in lessons and feel more in control of my live and my whole attitude to it. It brings out our natural ability to manifest things into reality through thought and visualisation, the latter being truly a must for the first stage of any “ dream come true “.

Mookite = Helps in a particular goal. It is a very active stone; it is full of Mother Earth Energy which stimulates the immune system and helps the body to heal. As I mentioned in a previous blog, it’s important to be physically well as it will help you mentally and physically. Mookite shields us from negativity and worry from past failures which can distract us from our goals. It represents new beginnings, new journeys and new creations.

Clear Quartz = This stone will balance all the chakras and brings clarity, balance and harmony, two important ingredients when we want to manifest our decisions. It will align the emotional mental, physical and spiritual aspects of a person. Clear Quartz will also amplify the healing effects of all the other stones mentioned. It’s also great to carry all these lovely stones in a pouch with you.