Amy Satori

Your Interpreter for pain, pets, & people passed

My Twin Flame Story

THE BACKSTORY:
MO'S AND MY "MEET CUTE"

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (well, Montana), I was at a bar in Bozeman learning to dance salsa. I was being my "single and free" self getting out and having a good time without needing to be with a friend to feel secure. I had been working on that. I had been single for some time and felt I may as well resign myself to embracing it more fully as I could be here for awhile. I was out on the dance floor having a blast not caring what anyone thought of how I was doing despite it being my first time giving it a try. I was feeling like a million bucks because I was finally dancing SALSA... the hot, sexy dance I'd always wanted to wiggle my sassy butt to, someday when I could conger the nerve,  and the guy teaching lessons was so good he made me feel like a pro.  I kept noticing this super cute guy watching me. It was one of those moments when you keep checking behind you to see if there's any possibility he's looking at someone behind you... or even someone he was seeing in a reflection behind you. There's nothing quite like assuming and you turn out to be wrong. Very embarrassing! Well, after a good while of discretely checking out the situation, I came to the conclusion it was me he was watching and the wry smirk on his face was the next clue. He was  so gorgeous I was suspicious. Not to say I wasn't cute myself, but this cute of a guy could have any girl and I was no super model.  I made my way over to the bar and he called out to me, "Hey. Come here a minute." waving me over. I laughed. He said, "I'm serious. Come talk to me. Please." I said, "No. I don't think so." "Why?!" he pushed. "Because you're too cute and too young." I answered. "Just five minutes. That's all I ask." he assured. So I gave him a very skeptical look and walked over in protest and sat down thinking this could only be trouble. 

I thoroughly enjoyed his company for over an hour. He was so sexy and had such a great sense of humor it melted my previously guarded heart.  I was so comfortable with him, but there was still part of me thinking he must be some type of Casanova. I figured, "He must be a player, but, whatever game he's playing, I just might participate at this rate." as I had to give it to him for trying so hard to keep the conversation flowing the whole time and didn't seem to want it to end. He just wasn't giving up and I wasn't sure exactly what it was he wanted. He seemed to genuinely be showing interest in my life which was rare. I'd had guys pretend to be interested, but he seemed to really care. He finally asked something I could tell he'd been wanting to say for awhile, "Can I tell you something crazy?" I thought, "Oh, here it comes." He proceeded to tell me that he had a girlfriend he'd been with for many years, but that something told him to come down to this place tonight to meet his soulmate. Then he sat forward and looked me square in the eyes and said, "You're my soulmate. I've found you." I started cracking up. He was totally offended. He asked, "Why won't you believe me? I've never been so sure of something in my life. I'm dead serious." and didn't crack a smile. I said, "Because you're probably a pot smoker and play video games or something." He laughed at the stereotype and admitted, "Yeah, so? Doesn't mean we're not a great match." I said, "Yes, it does. I'm a spiritual person who's into enlightenment and things like that." He said, "I don't know anything about those types of things, but I swear to God... bring me a stack of books and I'll study every one of them until we're on the same page and I understand your language. I will prove it. I will do whatever it takes to convince you. I'll do anything." I was stunned by his insistence. And tremendously flattered. He got me past feeling skeptical, but it was hard to believe nonetheless. He asked me to have patience while he takes a little time to break up with his girlfriend 'in the right way'. Their families expected them to get married (they'd known each other their whole lives so it was sort of like an arranged marriage) so he felt he wanted to honor their history. He didn't want to leave my side and insisted on seeing me as soon as possible. 

A TORTUROUS 3 MONTHS

We texted and called a lot, but the insecure part of me kept thinking he must be a player and didn't take him seriously. It tortured me that he wouldn't leave his girlfriend. We would hang out here and there and talk, but he wouldn't take me on any "dates" (I assumed because he was hiding me).  We even took it further a few times. One time we were hanging out in a bar and he 'let me in on a little secret' and told me, "Listen to me when I say this. ALL men are dogs. Even the ones you think are good guys aren't. I've thought I've known some good, faithful men, but they always let me down and disappoint. Always." He seemed so sad and angry that men were like this and I felt bad for whatever it was he had seen and experienced. He was like a kid trying to tell me there was no Santa 'cause he knew first hand. It was at that moment, however, that I knew what a good hear the had to be so upset about it. I also remember testing him once by bringing my sexiest friend over. I was flabbergasted he wasn't paying her any attention! In fact, when we left, she said to me, "I can't believe he didn't even hardly look at me. Not only that, but it's so obvious he loves you. At first, he sat a few feet away then kept scooting closer to you until you guys were side by side touching hands. Didn't you notice?!" Yes, I had, and I had fallen in love with him too, but he just wouldn't leave her for days then weeks then months. I got tired of waiting and, at the time, I was promiscuous and hurting. I was completely at wits end and, towards the end, threatened to sleep with a guy every night till he leaves her then would text him a report of my adventures. Ouch. He responded with anguish and kept begging me to just give him a little more time and said he couldn't believe I would be so mean to him. I argued he was the one being mean.

INTERCEPTED

In the meantime, I had been on this dating website and there was this guy who'd been sending me messages I was ignoring. I finally took a second look after noticing how eloquent he was, compared to the other guys, and his insisting I talk to him. After chatting with him one night, we realized we lived just a few blocks from each other. He really wanted to go out, but I told him I was sick and hadn't bathed for a couple days and that my hair was oily. He said he didn't care, that he'd just made homemade soup, and insisted I come over and get some TLC (he had a sauna and assured me it would help me recover faster). He begged and pleaded and finally convinced me. The minute he opened the door, we looked at each other like, "Wow." and I felt as if I had just stepped into my new life. He clearly felt it too. He decorated like me. He had white lights in the living room, wine on the table, jazz music in the background, and soup on the stove. He was like me, but male. It felt like I could just walk right into a template life in a way. He already had a home, he wanted to actively date, and he whisked me off my feet. Right when Mo told me he had broken up with his girlfriend and wanted to move in with me, Nate asked me to commit. 

Mo tried to get me to meet him, but not hard enough, apparently, and he never admitted his feelings for me. I was ready to put all these "players" in my life behind me and close the door and move on with this man who actually wanted commitment and I was ready for a life with someone. Eventually, he, and some other guys who'd also been showing interested, just stopped texting after I kept ignoring him. Even my best friend, Ed, seemed to be wanting to turn our friendship into something more. Whenever Nate would go out of town for work, he was asking me to go to dinner and movies (evenings weren't a usual for us). I was already in love with Mo by then, but he just seemed too flaky to 'place my bet on' if you will. So I chose Nate. Honestly, if Mo had told me how he felt, I'd have chosen him.

DESTINY INTERTWINED

About a year later, after I'd agreed to marry Nate, I went to see my prior best friend Ed who was a Physical Therapist at a Chiropractic Clinic  in Livingston where I lived with Nate. Ed lived in Bozeman, but I'd gotten Ed this job in Livingston (Mo lived in Bozeman). So, I went to say hi to Ed and see how he'd been since I had been dating Nate the past year.  Ed took off once I started dating Nate 'cause he wanted nothing to do with him (he said he's a liar and a pretty boy and couldn't stand him).  Anyway, when I went in to the clinic to say hi, I saw a file on the counter with Mo's name on it. I looked up and called out to Ed in the next room, "Ed, Do you know Morris _________?" He said, "Yeah! Do you know him? That guy is the coolest guy. Why?" Surprised to think Mo had come all this way to see Ed and that Ed apparently hadn't made the connected yet, I prodded, "Ed, Morris is Mo. MY Mo. The guy I've been talking about forever.  The one I was in love with."  He walked out of his office and looked like his world was spinning  and he was going to be sick. He said, "Morris is my best friend now and we go to bars all the time together. He's always crying over some girl, Amy... I can't believe it's YOU. I never put it together!" (he always hated that I called him Mo, but allowed it because "it was me"). I welled up with tears and said, "No way, Ed! I can't believe it?! What am I going to do?! I still love him!" He walked back and forth pacing and panicking. I said, "Well, he never told me how he felt about me and, by the time he wanted to do anything about it, I was committed to Nate. I'm very loyal and I thought Mo was just flaky. I can't do that to Nate." So I decided to follow through with my promise to marry Nate anyway. 

THE FOUR YEAR DETOUR

And hell ensued. And heaven too. My marriage to Nate was extraordinary (3 homes, lots of money, traveling abroad, road trips, and fun), but very hard. His former wife tried to warn me he was a psychopath, but I thought she was just jealous. Of course, I'm no psychologist, but, from reading up on it after our divorce, the articles I read seemed pretty spot on. He just seemed to lack genuine compassion or empathy (but knew how to act the part).  What was confusing was that 90% of what we had together was super amazing, but the 10% was complete hell like I'd never experienced. If you've ever been with someone like this, you understand. Super charming and perfect... and the pain debilitating. 

HAD TO FIND MO AGAIN

Needless to say, I figured this out and left him in Texas (we'd lived in Livingston, then Bozeman, then Oregon, then Texas for his work... he was a Geologist). A few months after our divorce, I was in a little cafe in Granbury, Texas, and decided to Google Mo and try to find him. To my horror, I saw he had driven home drunk around 2 or 3 am, crashed into a tree and died. I started to cry over my laptop then realized, "Wait! I am a psychic. I can talk to ghosts. Why not Mo?" So I went to the bathroom and asked, "Mo?" and, like a genie released from a bottle, he popped out shouting, "That guy was SUCH an asshole! If I'd have had any idea, I'd have never let him have you!" We talked back and forth for a bit and he confirmed some things I suspected all along. He also said he was going to be my stand-in boyfriend so not to worry about Nate bothering me anymore. He then became sort of like a body guard for months. Every time I worried if I'd run into Nate, he'd stand next to me and say something cool and/or would hold my hand. Sometimes, if I was walking home in the dark at night, he'd talk to me and keep me company watching out for any danger (as if there was any in that little town). 

THE SEARCH FOR A SOULMATE BEGINS

Then, one day, I was in my apartment and my friend came over who was a medium. She said, "There's a guy, Mo, who's here. Do you want to talk to him?" I jumped up surprised, and said, "Of course!" She started off telling me some things he was saying only he and I knew about just to verify I was talking to him. She sounded just like him and said things he would say... even intimate details about our sex life. And he was his normal flirty self. He proceeded to tell me the reason he didn't say he loved me was he was insecure and didn't feel he had a lot of money or a future to offer me. When he heard about Nate, he felt he could offer a better life. He said he was rich, successful, had a home, and took me out on dates. How could he compete? He felt he was doing the right thing sacrificing himself for my happiness essentially. He said, when he died, all he thought was, "I have to get to Amy" and was immediately put into my life as a spirit guide. Then he had to endure watching my life with Nate (he died about half way through my marriage). He said all he wanted to do was find me true love after the horror he saw and that became his mission... to get me to my soulmate.

MO TURNS "MR. ROMANTIC"

He proceeded to romance me like he never had the chance to in person while he was alive. He sent me songs. He sent me things that reminded me of him. He even sent songs to my friends who would tell me things that were happening they felt were Mo trying to communicate a message of love to me. It was crazy and it was coming from all directions. Sometimes I'd cry with gratitude feeling overwhelmed with his love. 

THE CALL TO BOULDER

About that time, I was learning about Bentinho Massaro and his teachings. My representation of Bentinho Massaro's higher self was explaining things I didn't understand about his teachings as if I was being trained. He had a great sense of humor and acted like a big brother. He teased me a lot. Then he encouraged me to move to Boulder and work for him. I was skyping with Ryan Brown who also encouraged me to move there. He assured me there are all kinds of fun things to do in Boulder. I sent in my resume and put in my notice at my apartment despite that it was my favorite apartment and my business was started to do very well. I was going to holistic and psychic fairs, doing parties, and my reputation was growing. But, as fate was trying to push me out the door and make sure I went, it started to get uncomfortable being there. All kinds of terrible things were happening. I knew I was going the right direction and couldn't stay there. I found a place to stay in Boulder over Craigslist and proceeded to get all packed up. I got rid of most of my things and packed all I could in my car, getting rid of anything that wouldn't fit. Then off I was. 

AMENDMENT TO MO'S STORY

Crazy thing is, the day I was wrote this page to put on my website, a man came in who'd just been in the day before. I wondered why he was back so soon. He said his twin just isn't responding and he felt insecure about it so wanted to get some advice. I assured him everything was fine and was just listening to him as a friend. He was telling me some stories when I heard, "Well, ya know, all men are dogs." which got my attention. I said, "That's what my deceased ex boyfriend used to say all the time. He said even the good men are dogs." He apologized for my loss then went on to tell me how he sees true love. He explained that, if, while you're getting to know him, he scoots closer to you inch by inch, he loves you. My jaw dropped. Then he says, "How did yours die? My ex committed suicide." I felt a fire of truth in my chest and a sinking feeling. I said, "Suicide" feeling suddenly sobered. Seeing the shock on my face and the blood leave my complexion with this realization, he said, "I guess we need to take this conversation next door and continue this talk." and we proceeded to the cajun place next door. I was super aware of every word he said and jotted down anything that correlated at all. He said the words, "Cajun. Louisiana. Bozeman. Montana." Wow.  My Divine Masculine (AKA "DM" or  twin flame)  is from Louisiana and Mo was from Bozeman. I went home and had a good cry and talked to Mo's higher self awhile. He said he didn't want me to feel bad... just wanted me to know the truth and just how much he loved me that he couldn't live without me.

Then, the next night, I'm watching a Luke Casul twin flame video and he says to pay particularly close attention to music right now. I got a song in my head the moment he said that, forgetting what it was about, but remembering it was beautiful. It was "I will always love you" by Whitney Houston. I watched the video and started getting choked up when I remembered the words. I shook my head, "No. No. No. You're not leaving me." and I felt him feeling bad. He said, "not yet, but it's coming." Then I was shown a vision of me kissing my DM and knew that would be the moment Mo would leave. That will be his time to move on... that I'll be in good hands. I was in denial about it all, but then got the idea to ask my close friend to use her pendulum for me. I texted her, "Is Mo leaving?!" She checked and got, "Not yet, but yes." I started to cry. Then I told her why I thought that and she said her roommate was just downstairs listening to that song and belting out that very tune just moments ago. Seriously? You can't make this stuff up. I'm in disbelief, but I guess it makes sense. All this time I was so eager to see what me and my DM could have together not realizing it was ultimately leading to me having to depart with Mo. He must feel terrible. No wonder he's been hurt and jealous (other psychics have told me). It was because I didn't realize it was also kicking him out the door simultaneously. And no wonder he told me about his committing suicide before he goes. Seriously, though, how on Earth did he get this guy to say all of that? Unbelievable. The universe never ceases to amaze me. I'm dumbfounded. And deeply touched.

MEETING MY TWIN FLAME AND
THE SIGNS AND SYNCS THAT VERIFIED IT

My twin's female friend, here in Boulder, came for a reading in February 2016 after I'd be in Boulder nearly a year. Then she went straight over to get him and told him he had to come get a reading too. He had a 10 minute reading. I don't remember what we talked about, but remembered his name and that he was super cute.

Shortly after meeting my twin, I was in a Staples parking lot here in Boulder and felt a sexual energy rise up in me. It was so intense I sat at the stop sign for several minutes looking in the rear view mirror ready to get out of the way if need be as I was having what felt like a full body orgasm for several minutes. I learned later this was a kundalini awakening. I had another one the first time we talked in depth in person, but it was different. It was like a pilot light was lit in my root chakra and spread through my body. 

He ordered a reading over the phone a couple months later. He amazed me with how honest and kind-hearted he was and I advised him on his relationship. I immediately felt protective of him like he was a rare treasure and I never wanted him to hurt again. He decided to leave her after our talk. I confirmed for him what he already thought. 

Btw, both of our last relationships were broken up from psychics telling us it would be best (and we listened and knew it to be true).

Also, after our talk, I started taking a course on "How to Meet Your Soulmate in 27 Days", and was only on day 4 (my favorite number), when I listed an experience I'd like for my soulmate to have had in common with me so I could identify him when we met. I thought about it for days then chose enlightenment since I was enlightened over 10 years ago (I talk with Bentinho Massaro about this in this video). I thought that'd be an amazing experience to share with someone, and it'd be extremely rare to find someone who'd have experienced it like me (that didn't involve drugs). I even wondered if I'd ever find such a guy, but was willing to wait for the rest of my life to find it. The NEXT DAY, he called and I told him to stay present in order to find the answers he seeks. He said, "I know what you're talking about, Amy, you're talking about enlightenment. I've been enlightened before." I about fell out of my chair. I was skeptical so asked him lots of questions. It turns out his experience was very similar to mine except for the vivid colors I saw. He said they were probably there, but he probably just didn't notice (again, adding to his credibility).

Then, on Easter, it's a long story of how this happened, but we both started to awaken AGAIN only together! Only this time I couldn't talk and he saw the vivid colors. I felt the once might have been my last, but twice and together?!? I think the universe was just showing off and having a good laugh with that one! They were just blowing my mind.

One week later, I went to a telepathic massage therapist and, when I got off the table at the end, she said she saw something weird. She said I was tethered to someone else... someone who was awakening with me. I asked if it was the guy I liked (at the time I had a crush on someone else) and she said no. She said it was with someone who doesn't live here right now. This guy AGAIN?! WHOA!

At one point, I sent him a twin flame video that so accurately described us I couldn't resist. It mentioned an opportunity out here I had told him about for him to bring his practice here to the Boulder area and talked of him being called to a higher calling to a more spiritual community where he could work with his divine feminine, but he needed to decide what he wants to do and the type of woman he wants and that I was at a distance just watching, supporting, and loving from afar... there to offer guidance if needed. I told him I watched twin flames videos all the time and think of him.

Two days after I sent that video, he joined Instagram using a number with his name. That number is the same as my area code when I was a child. Also, the email address he gave me when we met has my favorite number in it... the same number that's the only number in my email address as well. His instagram number represents home for me. My email says I'm for real.

One night, I was told by a guy friend that he figured this was just unrequited love and I needed to just get over it. I was open to seeing that if that were to be the case and was ready to move on if so. He suggested, if I wanted to know the truth, to drop a bloodstone in a jar or glass of water and put it beside my bed. I don't know why, but I did it (the only water I could find in a jar was holy water, believe it or not, which ends up being symbolic being that twin flames are such a spiritual connection). Then I talked to his higher self before going to sleep and said, "I want to know the truth. If you are my twin flame, I really have to hear from you, in the PHYSICAL, tomorrow or I'm giving up." The next morning, he texted me thanking me for the last talk we'd had a couple weeks prior... that it meant a lot. He'd never done that before.  Btw, as a side-note, later this guy friend told me he had been turned on by a hug we had so I tell people to beware there will be ill-intended friends who will try to sabotage you!

One day I realized Mo would have been the same age right now as my twin flame (13 years younger). They were a mere 3 months apart in age!

Another time, I asked the universe, "If he's my twin, why don't I dream about him much?" (I'd only had two dreams that I could remember). That night, I dreamt my twin showed up unexpectedly with a pastor, his mom, and his best friend and married me on the spot. There was laughter and knowingness in our eyes even though we'd never discussed getting married or even dated.

I told my angels I don't know how to interpret dreams very well so please keep giving me dreams about him I can understand that are literal. I then had a dream I told this mutual friend of ours that I think he's my twin flame. She said, "Well, you'll know soon enough when he comes out." I looked at her puzzled and she asked, "You didn't know he's coming?" I said, "No." and she said, "Well, you'd better call him and ask. So I did. He said he is coming out here and tried to come out sooner, but between his schedule and everything he was juggling in his life, he isn't going to make it out until ___________ (my closest friends know this date). He was excited and said he's going to check out that opportunity out here and take me out to have some fun while he's here. His voice was so real it was like I really talked to him.

Then I had another dream he came to me, held my hands, looked me in the eyes, and said something very beautiful, heartfelt, and loving. I was in such shock I could barely comprehend what he was saying. Then I turned to his sister, took her aside, and asked, "Does he really love me that much?" and she laughed and assured me he's told her everything and I couldn't stop this if I tried.

Again with the answered prayers! No dreams for a long time then several dreams directly addressing things they felt I needed to feel or know to keep my faith.

One night I randomly found this meme in my computer (apparently, I'd found and saved it a long time ago). I had sent my DM a dandelion seed for his birthday and suggested he make a wish. I didn't know who the person was who said this quote in this meme, but he had his name and there was a dandelion in it. I had a hunch to google the guy's quote and was led to a song. My jaw dropped 'cause it described exactly how I was feeling. Then, the next night I get the inkling to look up the words on the meme to see if that was a quote or from a song. It led me to another relevant song. I was watching this video thinking of my DM at first and it really touched me. Then I thought of how it also pertained to Mo.  I realized Mo had sent me down this path to discovering these songs and realized the song would have come out around the time he died. Then I got chills at the thought 'that's the song he'd listened to over and over and think of me'. I cried even harder when it all hit. It led me to truly take a look at and deal with his death once and for all, see some hard truths, and heal. It also made me realize he was blessing our relationship and we had the potential to have what me and Mo couldn't. I'm at the same crossroads right now as I was back then only am making the right choice. I'm choosing the man with my heart instead of logic. This could be a flippin' movie (maybe it will be)!

Another time, I had been talking to him in my sleep and whatever we were talking about made me wake up a little 'cause I was being prepared for something to happen. I heard him say, "I'm taking the brunt of this, but you'll definitely feel it on your end, ok?" I said, "Ok" then suddenly felt this intense cramping and was doubled over in pain for several minutes. I ran to the bathroom and was in there for several more minutes then back and forth for probably an hour. I wanted so bad to text him the next morning and ask, "Rough night?" but I had been initiating for awhile so felt I needed to lay off, take any pressure off, and let him sort all this out on his own. Ultimately, he has his free will and can do whatever he wants. I would want him to only come to me because he feels this pull too... not by any influence of mine. But, should I feel prompted to reach out again, I will. You just have to follow your heart. Of course, I did make note of the date of this incident in my diary, for the record, in case he remembers it. 

The most profound synchronicity is that, almost every time, when I watch twin flame readings, they seem to be reporting on my life. It's like these readers are a fly on the wall of my life! Sometimes, it makes me gasp and my jaw drops to the floor. For example, one time, they said my twin was talking with his parents trying to sort of warm them up to the possibility he may want to begin a new life. The next day, I went to dinner at a cajun restaurant (he's originally from Louisiana) and I texted him and told him where I was. He said, at the moment, he was in Louisiana (he lives in Missouri) visiting his parents!

Another reading said we were both making changes separately, but, ultimately, in order to come together (like a "V" shape). They said the divine feminine was moving to a location that was more conducive to having a relationship (which started to unfold) and that he was going to be presented with a very profitable, divinely guided, career opportunity as an opportunity to be closer to his divine feminine (which also happened synchronistically - a couple I set up now have a practice together and are thinking to leave it and move out of state. She came to see me (I usually go to see her) and she ended up asking me if my twin would be interested in coming out this way (she knew he was in the same line of work). 

Another time, I had gone through a major anxiety/panic attack for the first time in many years. I was actually worried I wouldn't show up in the readings anymore... that somehow I had jumped off track or something as a result (the divine feminine is pretty much always be in a pretty good place). I was scared to look at a reading. I finally faced my fears and watched one and the reader said, "Wow. Divine feminines, I don't know what you just went through, but, whatever this is, snap out of it! I see panic, anxiety, worry. Something big has happened to her." I sobbed like a baby and felt the grace of God so strong. He was winking at me in such a special way in that moment... the moment I needed it most. And, just like that, I sprang back. 

Another time, I had texted him telling him that I had a dream he was coming out here for a visit and that I missed him. He said, although he'd started seeing someone, he actually was planning a visit the following week (he didn't even know it would be during the 11/11 twin flame gateway!). We planned to go to coffee, but then, under a friend's influence and pressure from my own conscience, I decided to send him an email with a link to my blog with all this info (at the time, it didn't talk about Mo) so he had time to think about it before we talked. I felt like I was keeping a big secret from him and felt bad. I'd feel like a phony liar pretending the blog didn't exist during our visit in case he knew it did and, if he didn't, I didn't want to put him on the spot and shock him by talking about it in person. I opted to tell him, in advance, to give him time to process it all and come clean with all my cards on the table. After I sent this email to him, I sent my friend a text "sent" then another one a minute later "scared".  My friend said the word scared kept popping up at the bottom of our stream of texts staying on the bottom as if it were my last word over and over (she even came to show me in person). She said, "Wow. I think it's his higher self. He must be really scared."

I went through another dark night of the soul when he outright rejected me saying he didn't think he was my twin flame. His rejection made me question everything and have tremendous anxiety reactivating my PTSD. I didn't trust my intuition anymore... or tarot cards... or my pendulum... or anything. I felt like life, even God, had completely betrayed me and played some cruel joke. When I finally got the guts to look at a twin flame reading again (it took awhile), it said, in several readings, that I'd just been through the biggest betrayal by my twin, but that it was my last test of faith in God and faith in myself, a deeper purging that was bringing up my worst fears that needed releasing, that I wondered if God had played some cruel joke (something I had just written down was my worst fear before I watched the video), and assured me that it would be the last time my twin would hurt me so deeply.  It also said my twin was being tested as to what kind of woman he really wants... the same old thing he's always had, using his logic and making others happy, or something deeper, more fulfilling, and long lasting with me. Seemed right on... and so has every reading since... again.

Also, I had emailed Elizabeth of House of Idems and told her what happened and she pretty much said, "Ye of little faith". Knowing that she knows whether someone's truly your twin flame or not, that made me feel better (and maybe a little silly because I know her twin has rejected her, too, but she never doubted). I ordered a reading from her which explained that people get rejected when they force something and that it really didn't have to do with the other person and how they feel about them. I didn't see it as that at the time, but I can totally see where he would feel called out or forced into this now, in retrospect, of course. It really bothers me to think of it that way, but it's a good lesson. I really didn't think that one through. I'd never want him to do anything he didn't want to do. I guess I didn't think about how he'd react to it... just that it might open up some honest dialogue. I didn't realize I was putting him in such an awkward position and I laugh about it now. What else can you do? I know it all happened for a reason and caused big changes to occur within us that wouldn't have happened otherwise so I can't regret it, but I can't tell you how many times I've shaken my head laughed asking myself, "Why didn't I just go for coffee with him?". Oh well. It's brought me to a point of just being glad I know who my twin is, being grateful for this incredible journey and what it's taught me about loving others and myself, the demons it's made me face, how much we've even helped other twins, and accepting him unconditionally without expecting anything in return. This is key for any relationship. Give just to give. Love just to love.

Then, I had energy work done on me by this intuitive gal and she said she saw that a part of my soul had leaped out of me scared to death and she was able to integrate all of me back together again. She felt it was some sort of cognitive dissonance. Through this time of doubt, I jotted down my most fearful thoughts so I could do Byron Katie's work on them and lessen their grip on me once and for all.  I had also prayed before going to this energy worker that my faith be restored and I'd know if he was lying. Towards the end of my session, she held my head in her hands and whispered repeatedly, "faith, faith, faith, faith, faith" then "lie, lie, lie, lie, lie". I was like, "What???" Afterwards, I asked her why she said those words and she said, "I didn't say either of those words. I was saying the names of reiki symbols. Crazy! Needless to say, I did spring back again, with more faith than ever, after this treatment. I have more confidence, more vigor for life itself, am making some awesome changes in my life, and have let go of his needing to do or be anything for me.  He need only just be.  And I just pray for his happiness and send him blessings whenever he crosses my mind. If you're having trouble letting go, this video helped me. Oh! She also said my guides had done some kind of surgery on me. Sure enough, my knee has been completely healed since (it had been hurting for months).  She also took out an old contract in me/us where I was still drawing in abusive and unhealthy relationships and took that out as well as it had run it's course. Hallelujah!

After that, I had another dream I went to visit him and we were getting married still having not seen each other all this time. We hugged and I said, "Oh my gosh. That seemed like forever." and he agreed. He commented that I had lost weight and looked great. I laughed and said apparently I'd given it to him. His dad thought it was sweet I didn't care at all. There was beautiful lush grass everywhere and the property was right on the water. It seemed like a lake. It was beautiful. He took me to a room where he likes to watch the sunset and we sat and held hands for the first time and laughed at how crazy this was we were getting married without even knowing each other, yet how right it felt. He was so excited he could barely contain himself and kept showing me all his favorite things and places.

And, now, with the holidays in full swing, he's here with me without being here. I went to a Thanksgiving party where they featured a drink from New Orleans. Then, I meet this cool guy friend who takes a trip to New Orleans and brings me back souvenirs. Then, I see Missouri license plates right in front of us when we go out to have fun and he orders a cajun dish at a restaurant we went out to eat at. Then, I ask him to put Christmas music on in the car and he asks if he can put on something more fun and he puts on a New Orleans jazz station (which was great). Then, I get invited to a party that, of course, features gumbo on the invite. Then, people are mentioning Louisiana and Missouri constantly in my readings and around me. I'm just shaking my head at these things now laughing saying, "I guess I'm having a cajun Christmas with or without him." I'm like, "God, you've already made this clear as day to me. You've just gotta torture him a bit now if you want anything to happen." Ugh. Rolling eyes.

OMG. I just saw something I'd never noticed before. My DM changed his profile picture on Instagram and I saved it 'cause I love his smile in it. It uploaded to my computer and, for whatever reason, his picture is the one that comes up every time my iphone uploads more photos... he's just smiling at me. Well, today, it disappeared and I was like, "Hey! Where'd he go?!" and scrolled to look for it and it was just the next picture away.  He wasn't far. Then I noticed the caption for the picture is "Happy Days" and the hashtag is #smile. "Happy Days" was my mom's favorite song she would sing if she ever wanted to get me smiling and she would always say "Smile, Amy" if I was sad. And, sure, I can see why you'd think this may not be significant, but my mom was handicapped and couldn't say many words. But she always said, "Smile". She's got to be thrilled I just discovered this little sync link. ;^)

OMG. I am laughing so hard right now. I was talking to my friend, Mark, on the phone and nearly dropped the phone when I saw I had a business card wedged in the door from an officer, who had the same name as my DM, saying I was to call him ASAP tomorrow about a package I apparently had stolen from me he wanted to return.  My knight in shining armor! You've got to be kidding me. Rolling eyes. The universe is getting more and more creative.

If you wonder how my connection with my twin is, follow Luke Casul, Twins in Union, or The Aquarian Priestess. They seem to be reporting on my life pretty precisely at the moment. 
 

Support for Divine Masculines

I am a twin flame and am helping others find and align with their own twin flames as well.  I have created this blog post to share tools, tips, and guidance with other twins along this journey.  For the masculines, it's all about overcoming traditional ideas and beliefs that limit you or keep you in a self-imposed prison of people-pleasing and embracing the real you, overcoming the grip of the ego, addictions, doubt, not feeling worthy, learning to listen to your heart and intuition above your head, healing issues with mother, and loving yourself unconditionally. This is NOT a logical journey. Over thinking it will drive you nuts till you finally admit this is a divinely led thing that's out of your hands. Both of you have to overcome your fears, but, ready or not, here it comes when it does. As a sidenote, the feminine is more public with her tf journey and the DM is more processing internally.

"Lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep" ~ Anonymous

I talk to a lot of people (both Divine Feminines and Masculines) about this in my job as well as the research I've done so feel free to ask me anything in the comments below or schedule a session.  I'm seeing more and more twin flames coming together at this time (they come together in waves) and it's super inspiring! I share updates regularly on my new private Facebook Group and sometimes I put updates on Instagram or in my newsletters.

Here's a very inspirational video about the mission of twin flames and what the big picture is.

Here is my page talking about my own twin flame journey. It is full of signs and synchronicities that should increase your faith in your own journey...


TOOLS I'VE CREATED FOR TWINS

1111 Twin Flame Forum
Attracting Your Ideal Love Guided Meditation
A Clearing for Twin Flames
House of Idems is another great Facebook group for twins. There's great support there as well.
Cutting Chords with Fear Live Meditation with Ana Souto.

RECOMMENDED YOUTUBE READERS

House of Idems (Q&A and Channelings)
Psychic Consultants
NFGC Tarot
Twin Flames (ignore the teasers if you don't want to pay)
Twin Flame Psychic 1111
Queen of Swords (fast forward to her card reading if you don't want to listen to all the other stuff)
Tara Rose
Natural Vibrations
Aquarian Priestess
Divine Soul 1122
Yael Alchemy
Hipphop Tarot

NUMBER MEANINGS

Numbers to watch out for and what they mean (put in "Joanne's Sacred Scribes" with a number in Google for full meanings):
1's = New beginning, Yes's, and a series of ones is twin flames (11:11)
2 = partnership/union, couple
3 = Twin flames (you, your divine partner, and source as one), catalyst/ignition, divine protection, divine partnership, communication
4 = stability, wedding/coming together/commitment, and being surrounded by angels' support
5 = Divine Change
6 = The "Lovers" card in the Tarot. Balance of masculine/feminine. Equilibrium.
7 = Divine/divinity, spirituality (I see it as 'get present' sometimes if I'm too much in my head). Your spiritual path
8 = Infinity/long term happiness w your ideal mate, twin flames
9 = almost there; 10 = it is done! This is complete. So be it. Your wish is the universe's command.

THE PURPOSE OF TWIN FLAMES

1) To save planet Earth (AKA "Ascension"). I know that sounds so dramatic, but it's true. We are forming a new Earth at this time and the collective vibration of the planet needs to raise to a certain level for ascension to occur. The happiness and harmony of the twins not only raise each others vibrations, but the entire collective and anyone they come into contact with and inspire during their everyday lives. With all the chaos, destruction, and heartache in the world, the twins are here to balance that out and help stabilize and provide a new template for a new civilization to live by. They are "power couples"... leaders who set an example. Also, twin flames usually have a mission they have together that is also quite inspirational and exciting for anyone participating so that is yet another angle from which they bring great joy to our collective energies. Some twins gets depressed if they don't have some sort of mission together.

2) To be an example of unconditional love. First you heal yourself, then you heal each other in your relationship, then this spills over into everything you do. Therefore, taking personal responsibility is mandatory for this journey. Without it, your relationship is meaningless since this TF journey is all about learning how to unconditionally love yourself and others. It's a waste of time to merely be trying to "come into union" (form a relationship) because, even if you come into union, you could cause a separation if your ego has a stronghold and you try to make the other person responsible for your happiness.  You have to be willing to own your stuff and face your demons.  Your twin will not be perfect so don't put that expectation on them or think they are the key to your happiness... you are.  They may even push your buttons and trigger your deepest fears. Focus on you and your own growth. If both of you do this, you can overcome anything. I highly recommend doing some energy work as well. It can really accelerate your growth and help you let go of blockages. 

MIRRORING

Think about all the things that may frustrate you about your twin then reflect on how you are doing the same thing. If you want your twin to get motivated, you get motivated about your mission in life... what gets you excited. If you want your twin to move, move into a new place, move into a new office... just move! If you want them to grow, grow. Dedicate time daily to your growth practices. If you think they should get rid of their addictions, you get rid of your addictions (even your addiction to them). This is one reason I recommend Byron Katie's work to everyone. She has a simple and effective process to help people shift responsibility back to themselves. I know that sounds like something you really don't want to do sometimes, but, when you do, you actually feel quite liberated and gain a better sense of humor and peace of mind. It really takes your stress away when you decide to question any stressful thoughts. So don't procrastinate and keep pushing those feelings aside. Address them and set yourself free every time something comes up.

WHY ARE WE SO DRAWN TO EACH OTHER?

There is a connection between you and this other person your soul is drawn to for a reason. Your soul wants to explore that connection. There's something inside of you that needs to shift. There's something inside that person that needs to shift. It's all to aid in your ascension. Sometimes, even when you're married to your twin, you're drawn to someone new. I know of a couple who discuss these issues with each other openly, when they arise, and decide if they want to explore with these new people and how they'll do that staying committed to each other. They really go deep together exploring and discussing what they're discovering about what this person is reflecting back to them and remain in their relationship making it even stronger as a result. Always be open with your partner. You can get through anything if you do. Maintain trust between you and find the healing in all situations above all else.

DON'T ACCEPT ILL BEHAVIOR

I talk a lot about unconditional love. This is love for you as well as for her. If she disrespects you or treats you according to old karmic ways, she does not get a free pass because she is your twin flame. No. If she treats you like that, she's not ready for union. You have to set your boundaries and make sure you're taking care of yourself first and foremost. 

WHY ARE WE APART?

Usually, if there's distance (separate locations or a separation in the relationship) it's because there's too great a difference between the vibrational levels of each individual. The more you come into harmony with each others' energies, the closer you get and/or more time you'll spend together. If you are in separation, just work on yourself and grow. Don't dwell in negativity or beat yourself up. Rise up and get passionate about your life and mission.

NO EXPECTATIONS

Do your best to not plan out your partner's future. Don't wait around wishing things would hurry along because then your life will be great. You're not loving yourself or them if you do that. In fact, wanting what's best for them is what will accelerate your union. The more each of us follows our bliss in any given moment, the more we're drawn to our ultimate destiny and since, we are each others' ultimate destiny, guess where our bliss will lead? So, if your partner is long distance and doesn't want to move here, don't push it. Encourage her to do what feels most exciting for her. Otherwise, she'll show resistance and it'll take longer to have to sort all those feelings out and all of that. You'll cause delays that way. Go with what brings them happiness. If she has a karmic partner, let her explore that. Again, it will ultimately help your relationship somehow. Choose the path of least resistance. And, even if it looks like that path is taking them away from you, trust it is actually a more direct path to you. Have faith in God having his hand in this and trust.

Also, try not to expect them to be a certain way. Sometimes, before we're in union, we think we have an idea of who the other is and have them on a pedestal. Both partners do this. So, realize they are not perfect, just like you, and allow them to be whoever they show up as each moment. Make each moment new by not trying to pigeon hold them as who you knew them to be. I can't tell you how many times I've heard twins tell me their partner showed up out of the blue a completely different person! Forgive the past, if there was hurt, and allow what is not to be what it is and embrace it. Love them just as they are and they will do the same.

LOVING YOURSELF

What does it mean to love "yourself"? First, there's the superficial kind of loving yourself which consists of taking care of your body, cutting yourself slack, not beating yourself up, taking a break, replenishing your energy, having a good attitude, having fun, and recharging your batteries. These things make you happy as long as they are there. Take them away and you'll get sucked back into negativity again. Up and down you go... loving yourself then hating yourself and back again. Circumstances dictating how you feel about yourself.

Then there's truly loving your "self". This a level where you realize there is the drama of life you're interacting with, but remain untouched by. At this level, you see you are not your personality, your body, your opinions, your beliefs, and, instead of feeding or accommodating that persona and its attachments, or trying to be a 'better' persona, you realize you are perfect in this moment as you are... that you are the authentic beingness beyond all of it. You are the tingly aliveness and animation of your body. You are free. Complete acceptance of all life has to offer however it shows up. Loving what is without wanting it to change. This is true love for self.  

IS THERE ONLY ONE TWIN FLAME FOR US?

Yes. I believe this to be the case.  Elizabeth from House of Idems also concurs (I highly recommend her Facebook group) and Dr. Harmony writes of this in her book Twin Flame Codebreaker. There are plenty of karmic partners (those we learn lessons from), but only one that shares this deep soul connection. Don't worry, though, if you think you might be barking up the wrong tree because the universe will sometimes dangle a carrot in front of us (a karmic partner disguised as the real one) to get us to move forward in a direction for our highest good. If we just follow the carrot (like in the matrix, you may have to follow the white rabbit), you are still being led to what ends up being a cake. And the cake will be even better. You can't go wrong as long as you're growing in your love for yourself and passion for life and your mission in it. 

ARE TWIN FLAMES ONLY ROMANTIC?

Yes. Soulmates can be a brother, sister, dog, or hamster but your twin flame is the one who can set your heart and passion for life on fire. You are the male and female aspects of the same soul. Having said that, they can start out as friends which are the types that take the longest, but are the most harmonious in the longrun.

HOW TO IDENTIFY A TWIN FLAME

The following list I got from the book "Twin Flame Code Breaker 11:11 Key Codes" by Dr. Harmony:

  • Twin flames feel the need to be honest. The ultimate truth comes up and they feel the need for confession.
  • Twins can communicate about anything and everything and can spend hours talking.
  • Twins feel that they are born to carry out a great mission or have a greater purpose.
  • Twins emit creative energy used to create something productive individually and together.
  • Twins know the other person as well or better than they know themselves.
  • Twins enter 5D (5th dimension time), where time goes by fast, to accelerate the process, getting them on the same page faster.
  • Twins get on a fast track of esoteric cosmic wisdom.
  • Twins start seeing 11:11 around the time of physical connection.
  • There isn't necessarily an immediate chemical attraction (lust); they are often "not your type" (this is to help us overcome our egos and love from the heart.). Once together, however, the passion is unparalleled because it's deeper. 
  • Twins prepare for advanced ascension work and do this work together after each have awakened spiritually, or at least are in the process. 
  • Twins can see issues that need resolving in other people and they know how to help them.
  • Twins are always teaching each other.
  • Twins are very intuitive; one or both have a strong connection and are guided by spirit.
  • Twins feel each other's pain (and even have been know to feel each others' hang over and sex with other partners) - even when in separation. 
  • Twins come together to help complete the balance of their masculine/feminine energies.
  • Twins feel an emotional and spiritual connection (and have usually had some type of kundalini/spiritual awakening).
  • Twins have suffered much pain in previous relationships.
  • Twins usually have some form of telepathic communication.
  • Twins have the ability to heal others.
  • Twins look, feel, and act younger.
  • Twins are capable but have trouble asking for help.
  • Twins activate past life awareness's in order to clear the past.

Other indicators or FAQ I've learned from other sources since I've been on this journey:

  • The Divine Feminine twins usually look into the meaning of twin flames when they meet and are usually the first to recognize their connection.

For example, I looked back in time to see when I'd met my twin to see if this was true and it was. I liked another guy at the time we met, but I did start watching twin flame videos right at that time. I was watching them thinking it could be the other guy, but the timing was there.

  • Twins usually feel fed up with regular (karmic) relationships and just want to find their soulmate.

For example, when we first met, he said, "I just want to meet my soulmate" and I said, "You and me both." Ha! Little did we know we just had.

  • As I said, the Divine Feminine usually knows first. Once she/he knows, she starts to reach out to the masculine. At first, she makes more effort than he does, but eventually learns to trust in divine timing and lets it happen naturally. She learns to trust it without needing 'proof'. Part of the reason for this is, she needs to heal abandonment issues and get over insecurities (on the flip side, he's doing the same thing but in a different way which is one reason why he doesn't reach out back except to stay connected however he can find the ability, strength, and courage to while he faces a stage called his "dark night of the soul" which I go into below.).  
  • I have shared my personal twin flame story on this page so you can see more examples from my own journey for more inspiration and faith building.
     
  • Twins trust each other automatically. It can take you back to an innocent, childlike time in your life like how your best friend felt when you were little.
     
  • The DF's job is protector and dreamer and the DM is the one who 'makes it happen' (the doer/manifester).
     
  • They can be opposites in some ways, but compliment each other very well - usually one is strong where the other is weak and vice versa. Together, they become an unstoppable force.
     
  • Twins often have the same or similar physical ailments or struggle with the same things in different ways. For example, if one has a chronic problem with their knee, often times, the other twin either has the same thing or develops it. I know one couple where the feminine's calves pop (how common is that?). After living together, his calves also began to pop. Crazy!
     
  • Twins often have a significant age difference (not always, but it's common). I don't know why this is, but this seems to be yet another egoic thing they have to get over... that true love trumps societal and egoic rules.
     
  •  Twins can't stop thinking about each other. Even when you put them completely out of your mind and move on, they're still in the background like trying to run from your own shadow. You just can't shake them. 
     
  • Twins boost your faith in the opposite sex again. They make you feel like you can love again and, at the same time, it scares you for the same reason. It can be terrifying.
     
  • Feminines may feel the inclination to protect him like you would a sweet kitten. I know I did. This is because the Divine Feminine's job is protector and visionary. 
     
  • Psychics and readers can tell you he's the one, but you're ultimately the only one who can really tell. It's just not like anything you've ever had with anyone else before and you'll compare everyone to them. There's a purity... a divine pull that keeps sucking you in. 

AM I THE DIVINE MASCULINE (DM)?

Obviously, I'm not the DM, but, from watching lots of readings and meeting many DM's, here's sort of a summary that can help you identify yourself. The divine masculine is the one who ignites the flame between the two then is also usually the one who pushes the feminine away for awhile initially so he can go through a deep purging process of sorts. You are a man (or woman) who is going through or has just been through hell and back (the "dark night of the soul") and who is learning to heal himself and come to a more mature place of balance and trust in the universe. You're learning to overcome your ego and addictions. You have given and given to women in the past and those women were ungrateful and demanded more. This left you with a feeling of unworthiness. The truth of the matter was that those women were not loving themselves and women who do not love themselves refuse to see their own worth or accept others' love so they keep begging for more proof to make themselves feel better. They manipulated you to fill their own void. It had nothing to do with you being worthy. It had everything to do with you trying to fill an endless void in a woman who just didn't like herself. You have resisted your feminine side, but are learning the value of it now and are pushing against societal constraints when it comes to being able to express that side of yourself. You are coming into your power through this process of going deep within you to seek the answers and are even tapping into your own intuitive abilities like your feminine counterpart. In fact, you are learning to trust it. You're learning productive ways to deal with your stress that usually involve healthy physical activity of some sort. You are working to heal issues with your parents... mainly, your mom. This is key for coming into union with your Divine feminine as, whatever issues you had with your mom, will tend to repeat in some way with your feminine if you don't. You may feel insecure, unworthy, or be afraid of being hurt again. You're also afraid of someone becoming needy (one of your challenges to heal as abandonment is her main issue). You go through a time (or several waves) of dipping your toe in the water with your divine feminine before you ultimately pursue a relationship with her. You may even watch her on social media to keep tabs on her while you sort out a plan and try to see if what you feel is real. She may present you with an opportunity to move closer to her if you are apart or you may just feel compelled to make the move on your own. You feel passionate about her and, the more time that passes, the more you realize how powerful this connection is and how badly you want it. You can't get her out of your head and hold the sweetest memories of her. You most likely even already love your divine feminine, but haven't told her (in so many words). You value her tremendously and even look up to her in many ways after an initial time of being skeptical or even putting her down to others or flat out pushing her away (circumstances vary). Eventually, you are learning to speak your truth in a kind yet strong way and no longer cower at opposition. You've learned to stand up for yourself with firmness yet gentleness and are ready to defend your relationship to friends and family as there is usually some sort of resistance to overcome. You've learned to take personal responsibility for your own happiness and are staking your claim on the future you want with your feminine counterpart. You are probably even wanting to show up as an entirely different man than the one she initially met. Ultimately, follow your heart. When it comes time to speak your truth about your feelings to your feminine, don't be afraid of her rejection. She already loves you, too, and knows you are her best bet at that ultimate "happy ending" too. By the time you've reached this conclusion, so has she. You are mirrors and share the same soul. So just do it. She's waiting for you to reach out to her 'cause, most likely, she's done an awful lot of initiating and is now respectfully giving you space and awaiting reciprocation. Oh! And don't worry about being perfect. She knows you're not perfect. She's not expecting you to be. Just be yourself and be honest is all she asks. 

If this doesn't describe you, remember there are different phases or waves so if you still have some forgiveness or healing to be had till you feel this free, don't be disheartened. Just keep developing and you'll be on the next wave. It's all a matter of divine timing and everyone has a pre-destined date to come together.

I think the divine feminines and masculines were the "sweet ones" who tried to make our marriages work, who tried to be in integrity and honor, who were faithful, told the truth, and did our very best to be the best spouses we could be and were abused, put down, made fun of, and treated poorly as a result. We were "weak" to the cold of heart. These sweet, kind-hearted people have now left these karmic relationships, having learned to love and value themselves, and are now ready to begin a whole new level of love on a level all its own. They are evolving into realizing their worth and yearning for the kind of love that heals you from the inside out... a child like, innocent, pure hearted love that makes their hearts and minds expand and their partner cherishes them for who they are (because they essentially ARE them just from different angles).  They're coming home to themselves. Pure harmonious love with balanced masculine/feminine energy.

WHAT IS A DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL?

The following is an excerpt by Eckart Tolle: "The 'dark night of the soul' is a term that goes back a long time.  It is a term used to describe  a collapse of a perceived identification with or meaning of life… an upheaval that causes a deep sense of meaninglessness or depression.  Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything.  These can be triggered by an external event like meeting your twin flame, disaster, death, etc. that just makes you question everything in your life. It makes you question the meaning you had given your life, activities, achievements, where you are going, what is considered important. It all collapses before you try to put the pieces slowly back together.

When people go through this, there is then greater possibility that you may emerge out of that into a transformed state of consciousness.  Life has meaning again, but it’s no longer a conceptual meaning that you can necessarily explain.  Quite often it’s from there that people awaken out of their conceptual sense of reality, which has collapsed.  They awaken into something deeper, which is no longer based on concepts in your mind.  A deeper sense of purpose or connectedness with a greater life that is not dependent on explanations or anything conceptual any longer.  It’s a kind of re-birth. 

The dark night of the soul is a kind of death that you die.  What dies is the egoic sense of self.  Of course, death is always painful, but nothing real has actually died there – only an illusory identity.  Now it is probably the case that some people who’ve gone through this transformation realized that they had to go through that, in order to bring about a spiritual awakening.  Often it is part of the awakening process, the death of the old self and the birth of the true self.

The first lesson in A Course in Miracles says “Nothing I see in this room means anything”, and you’re supposed to look around the room at whatever you happen to be looking at, and you say “this doesn’t mean anything”, “that doesn’t mean anything”.   What is the purpose of a lesson like that?  It’s a little bit like re-creating what can happen during the dark night of the soul.  It’s the collapse of a mind-made meaning, conceptual meaning, of life… believing that you understand “what it’s all about”.  With A Course in Miracles, it’s a voluntary relinquishment of the human mind-made meaning that is projected, and you go voluntary into saying “I don’t know what this means”, “this doesn’t mean anything”.  You wipe the board clean.  In the dark night of the soul it collapses. Then you can look upon the world without imposing a mind-made framework of meaning.  It looks of course as if you no longer understand anything.  That’s why it’s so scary when it happens to you, instead of you actually consciously embracing it.  It can bring about the dark night of the soul – to go around the Universe without any longer interpreting it compulsively, as an innocent presence.  You look upon events, people, and so on with a deep sense of aliveness.  Your sense the aliveness through your own sense of aliveness, but you are not trying to fit your experience into a conceptual framework anymore."

IS THERE A FALSE TWIN FLAME?

No. But there were three guys I thought might be my soulmate before I met the actual one. This was partially because of a special circumstance where I was inspired to move to Boulder by a deceased ex boyfriend who told me to go there to find my soulmate. This made me look for him constantly (and the universe had fun with that - the real twin flame I didn't see coming of course). And, reflecting back on their significance, each one prepared me for a certain aspect of my twin I had to get acclimated to. One made me feel comfortable and desired in my skin again and ignited passion in me again for the first time since my divorce. He was 20 years younger, good looking, and tender hearted. He also helped me trust men could be good again. The next taught me about shy guys, what a great catch they are once they commit, and I saw the importance and relevance of past lives and how they influence us in this life. He was also young and super cute. He and I had a really playful, sweet connection. The third was my best friend who was 21 years younger. We hung out for hours and never tired of each other. We made each other laugh so hard for hours on end. We were fascinated by each other. We talked about everything under the sun with complete honesty.  We could sit and 'just be' in silence together for hours. He cracked my heart wide open and expanded my perception of life.

My twin has all of the attributes of all three of them only he is just 13 years younger, more mature, solid, established in his work, emotionally intelligent, and more in line with my beliefs.  If I'd have had all this in my twin all at the same time, it'd have been overwhelming and I'd probably have felt I wasn't worthy or good enough. Now I can't imagine anyone better for him than me. I still get twinges of insecurity, sure, but, if it weren't for these others, I don't think there'd have been a chance. I'd have just been too skeptical of it all seeming too good to be true. It's all perfectly and divinely orchestrated so trust the process. You'll know when you've hit home. 

A SIGN YOU MAY BE CLOSE TO UNION

I've heard this before that many twins come into union right at a time in their lives when it felt like their lives were falling apart. I think I know why that is. I think it's because unions happen around lunar eclipses and other intense moon energies. Within these energies, you are forced (made to feel SO uncomfortable you make big changes) to get rid of everything that doesn't serve you anymore, face your demons, and kind of start your life all over again with a clean slate. Makes sense that's when he would step in, right? These changes that are taking place are also aligning you more with what you truly feel passionate about in life. So this would be an ideal time to have a blank canvas and create new lives together. My twin and I actually met under the energy of an eclipse. In fact, many I've talked to have.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE, BUT ALL ONE

Sometimes, when we're going through this "life falling apart" time like this, we may feel lonely, betrayed, hurt, and left to fend for ourselves and like no one has our backs... like it's you against the world. But alone really means "all one". When you realize you are all one, there is no difference between you and everyone else and, just like water runs any obstacles, so, too, can you move right around anyone you feel you can't trust anymore and be supported by anyone and everyone. In a sense, when you broaden your scope, you are then supported by ALL of life. A stranger may give you a huge tip, a hug, someone from the past offers you gratitude. You run across a wonderful opportunity.

TEMPTATION

When you get close to union, you may experience more temptation. These are sort of like tests, but it's more like God just continuously gives us options we've chosen before along with new choices so we truly have free will and are choosing what we truly want.  There are also dark forces at work trying to figure out a way to not let these unions happen, from any angle they can, because it is causing the vibration of the planet to rise which they do not want.

People may stalk you. They may manipulate or deceive you. They may seduce you. They may even have some twin flame signs I've listed above and make you wonder "Is it this one or is it that one?".  If there's a tough choice, I always tell people to go back to your initial connection and feel into which one immediately seemed to love you versus who needed warming up? This sorting, sifting, and discerning is not only part of our growth process, helps us narrow down what we really want (and truly value it), but we learn how to be better communicators and sometimes these people hold a key to your future success or kind of fill a void for you in some way as sort of a space-holder till your twin comes into the picture (these are known as 'twin flame facilitators' - other twin flames on a spiritual quest where you help each other prepare) keeping you from feeling lonely and helping you trust in the process and grow each other - with no interest in each other romantically.

If you know your twin, sex with karmic partners will be meaningless (you'll probably just think about your twin anyway) and you might end up feeling guilty  so why do it? Yes, you can have some sort of tantric experience with someone, that's a spiritual experience, and teaches you something deep you can then pertain to your relationship with your twin, but why not discover that with her once in union? Do what you will, but, for me, I want to keep my energy clean and clear of anyone else's energy (you end of getting chords that attach the two of you when you have sex that can enable them to continue to feed off of your energy if you don't get them cleared out of your energy field before you go into union with your twin). I recommend celibacy, but also not to wait (since waiting creates sadness and pressure). Get out there, date, and have fun. Just keep it clean and/or be honest about where you're at. I also try not to kiss. It's hard, once you kiss, to stop and you'll get the karmic's hopes up. 

If you already have a karmic, they could sense, or even know, you have a divine feminine and try to give you a guilt trip, manipulate, control, or seduce you in order to  sabotage your relationship with her to keep you from coming together. They may even resort to trying to get pregnant so you have a bond forever.

SABOTAGE

The closer you get to your union with your divine feminine, there may be people you consider close to you that may see your light, even where you don't, and know full well what you're capable of and who you truly are. You may be close to seeing it yourself, but they may try to convince you to stay where you are... not even so they can keep you around, but so they can feed off your energy. These people may be sapping you of your energy, leaving you confused, overwhelmed, and conflicted, and they feel better about themselves when they keep you down. They're jealous and want what you have. There are also dark forces trying to keep twin flames from coming into their power and coming into union any way they can so just be aware and question everyone and their motives when it comes time for you to reach out towards your brightest future. Don't let others get to you. Stand your ground in what you believe once you know your truth. You'll be tested and have to discern who you truly are, what you want, who truly supports you in where you're going, who'll applaud you in your success, and who you need to say, "Get behind me, Satan" to. It's always a good idea to have energy work done and cut chords on anyone or anything you've been in a relationship with and I would also suggest cutting chords to any ancestral baggage (or other karmic baggage) you may have brought along with you that may be holding you back.

WATCHING TWIN FLAME READINGS

There are lots of readers out there in Youtube land. I would avoid fear-based ones and stick with the ones that seem spot on for you as it speaks to the divine masculine. If you don't know who your twin flame is, just know that, if they're describing you and what you're going through to a "T", you've got a counterpart out there that is going through what the divine feminine is going through so just learn and grow till you two meet and magnetize toward union.  If you do know who she is, keep in mind these readings are geared toward the collective so not everyone will resonate in every way. For example, I resonate with most divine feminine readings 100%, but, when they talk about issues she's having with her children, I know that's about the DF's who have kids... not me (yet I still listen trying to see if there's a twist on it like maybe it's not about our kids we already have, but kids he may want to have for example). But the rest applies. Also, sometimes, they talk about the DF who's mad and resentful because of years of difficulty between her and her DM. That's not me either. My twin flame journey started in February. So there'll be some things like that you'll ignore and just pay attention to those things that pertain... most of all, the advice.

DEALING WITH YOUR SHADOW SIDE

The most important element of coming together with your twin flame is each of you being balanced equally in your feminine and masculine sides and to be healed and whole individually (it's not like you both have to be perfect, but you've got to be willing to take personal responsibility and not let your ego run the show). In order to do this, you've got to face your shadow side head on. Here are some tools to help you breeze through any triggers and issues that will arise to cleanse you of any remnants of co-dependency, fear, and ego that remain as an obstacle to you guys coming together: 

Respecting the Shadow exercise
Learning how to love yourself

I LOVE YOU (I do this every night)
Physically touch your heart, close your eyes, and say, "I love you" to yourself like a mantra repeatedly (and, yes, he feels it too)
Then, once you've got a good buzz going, start thinking back through your day and reflect on anything that bothered you about you and say, "I love you even when..." or "I love you even if..." and keep going till you can't think of anything else that needs addressing. It's a great way to love yourself and get a good night's sleep. You can even do this right when you're hard on yourself throughout the day too.

I DON'T WANT TO GET HURT AGAIN

It's always scary to open your heart up again. There is a lot of pain that comes along with the perks. Those triggers will come up and, at first, you'll be scared they'll respond like your ex's (the "karmics" - the ones who teach us lessons) when you feel like you need to bring something up (all the twins have come through some super hard past relationships to help you grow and make you appreciate this rare find). Then you'll come to realize her reaction doesn't matter because you've come to love and support yourself through this time and can take care of yourself. Plus, there's a quality there in her you notice is kinda new for you... kindness. Compassion. She cares. Deeply. Maybe not about everything, but the stuff that matters. As time goes by, you'll notice you become less and less triggered and you become more and more free through the same clean up process you used on yourself prior to this relationship. The relationship becomes a portal for you to transcend the ego once and for all... only with someone. And, for the most part, they get you. On a deep level, they get you. You just feel it. Sure, you'll disagree, but it'll make sense. You'll balance each other out and kinda 'spot' each other. When both of you become more free, in your power, trusting, and loving, what could ever stand in your way? What God has brought together, let no man put asunder. Our karmics were valuable teaching tools is all. Now we step into fully loving ourselves like never before. We take it to a whole other level. Scary stuff for sure.

This is like the big leagues of relationships!

 

If you are struggling to get into a good place
and even contemplating suicide, please:

Call 1-800-273-8255

This Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential
support for people in distress.

 

SUGGESTED STONES

APOPHYLLITE WITH STILLBITE CLUSTER = Attracts and finds a life-long mate.

ROSE QUARTZ = Invites love into your life.  It opens your heart to receive love and gently reminds you that you are worthy of love. Wear this stone or keep it by your bedside to remind you that love is coming your way.
DOUBLE TERMINATED CRYSTAL QUARTZ = The Soulmate stone.
SARDONYX = Sardonyx is a highly protective stone that embodies a vibration of happiness, optimism and confidence. It helps to boost your self control and your level of personal power. This stone creates an excellent grounding action through the earth and base chakras, and brings you back to earth after spiritual work. It has excellent metaphysical properties that encourage motivation, willpower, discipline and strength of character. 

MALACHITE = The beautiful green swirls in this stone help to usher away hurtful memories.  Malachite works quickly and diligently to clear away painful heartache and make way for new love.  Try sleeping with this stone on your heart chakra.  Alternately, you can wear the stone as a pendant over your heart or you can sleep it with it under the pillow. 

RHODOCROSITE = The lovely marbling of pinks and whites in this stone helps us to unite the different aspects of our personality so that we can learn to truly love ourselves.  The only way to bring true, authentic love into your life is to love yourself first.  Rhodocrosite helps you to appreciate yourself as it teaches that you are worthy of love, health and happiness.

RHODONITE = The pinks and blacks in this stone remind us that affairs of the heart are often painful.  Rhodonite is the Stone of Forgiveness and it will help you to let go of any pain from a past relationship with an attitude of love and forgiveness as it gently cleanses your aura of hurt, anger, regret and bitterness.

GREEN AVENTURINE = Known as the Stone of Love and Luck, carrying this stone with you will increase your confidence and your luck at attracting new love into your life.  It'll bring you that first date as well as luck with how it goes. It’s also known as a Stone of Abundance, so keep one in your wallet to ensure new financial resources too!

APACHE TEAR = This form of Obsidian is known to absorb depression, grief and negativity.  Legends say that as the Apache women and children watched their men die in battle to save their land and way of life, they cried rivers of tears.  These tears hardened into these Obsidian stones which we call Apache Tears.  The legend says that whoever holds an Apache Tear will never grieve again.  Carry this stone with you to help absorb any sadness you may be carrying in your heart.

CITRINE = This joyful, sunny stone is known as the Stone of Success.  It will help make you feel more empowered, confident and sure of yourself.  Carry this stone or wear it as jewelry to enhance your self-esteem, confidence and joy.

Support for Divine Feminines

I am a twin flame and am helping others find and align with their own twin flames as well.  I have created this blog post to share tools, tips, and guidance with other divine feminines along this journey.  For the feminines, it's all about patience, faith, facing triggers, surrender, healing the past, trust, unconditional love, worthiness, insecurity usually over our appearances, healing abandonment issues, and healing our relationships with our fathers. As a sidenote, the feminine is more public with her tf journey and the DM is more processing internally. My Mayan life path number is all about patience so, of course, I would have to embark on this grand endeavor (I remember my horse trainer warning me that patience would be my biggest obstacle to overcome in life).

"Blessed Are They That Have Not Seen, and Yet Have Believed" ~ Jesus

I talk to a lot of people (both Divine Feminines and Divine Masculines) about this in my job as well as the research I've done so feel free to ask me anything in the comments below or schedule a session.  I'm seeing more and more twin flames coming together at this time (they come together in waves) and it's super inspiring! I share updates regularly on my new private Facebook Group and sometimes I put updates on Instagram or in my newsletters.

Masculines are welcome to participate as well (this isn't masculine in the physical sense, but rather, dominant in masculine energy), but I'm addressing the feminines here because I am one so I know the journey best from my angle. Michael Timby is a great resource for masculines reading this although you may appreciate some resources here as well.

Here's a very inspirational video about the mission of twin flames and what the big picture is.

Here is my page talking about my own twin flame journey. It is full of signs and synchronicities that should increase your faith in your own journey...


TOOLS I'VE CREATED FOR TWINS

1111 Twin Flame Forum
Attracting Your Ideal Love Guided Meditation
A Clearing for Twin Flames
House of Idems is another great Facebook group for twins. There's great support there as well.
Cutting Chords with Fear Live Meditation with Ana Souto.

 

MY FAVORITE YOUTUBE READERS

House of Idems (Q&A and Channelings)
Psychic Consultants
NFGC Tarot
Twin Flames (ignore the teasers if you don't want to pay)
Twin Flame Psychic 1111
Queen of Swords (fast forward to her card reading if you don't want to listen to all the other stuff)
Tara Rose
Natural Vibrations
Aquarian Priestess
Divine Soul 1122
Yael Alchemy
Hipphop Tarot

NUMBER MEANINGS

Numbers to watch out for and what they mean (put in "Joanne's Sacred Scribes" with a number in Google for full meanings):
1's = New beginning, Yes's, and a series of ones is twin flames (11:11)
2 = partnership/union, couple
3 = Twin flames (you, your divine partner, and source as one), catalyst/ignition, divine protection, divine partnership, and communication
4 = stability, wedding/coming together/commitment, and being surrounded by angels' support
5 = Divine Change
6 = The "Lovers" card in the Tarot. Balance of masculine/feminine. Equilibrium.
7 = Divine/divinity, spirituality (I see it as 'get present' sometimes if I'm too much in my head). Your spiritual path
8 = Infinity/long term happiness w your ideal mate, twin flames
9 = almost there; 10 = it is done! This is complete. So be it. Your wish is the universe's command.

THE PURPOSE OF TWIN FLAMES

1) To save planet Earth (AKA "Ascension"). I know that sounds so dramatic, but it's true. We are forming a new Earth at this time and the collective vibration of the planet needs to raise to a certain level for ascension to occur. The happiness and harmony of the twins not only raise each others vibrations, but the entire collective and anyone they come into contact with and inspire during their everyday lives. With all the chaos, destruction, and heartache in the world, the twins are here to balance that out and help stabilize and provide a new template for a new civilization to live by. They are "power couples"... leaders who set an example. Also, twin flames usually have a mission they have together that is also quite inspirational and exciting for anyone participating so that is yet another angle from which they bring great joy to our collective energies. Some twins gets depressed if they don't have some sort of mission together.

2) To be an example of unconditional love. First you heal yourself, then you heal each other in your relationship, then this spills over into everything you do. Therefore, taking personal responsibility is mandatory for this journey. Without it, your relationship is meaningless since this TF journey is all about learning how to unconditionally love yourself and other. It's a waste of time to merely be trying to come into union. Even if you come into union, you'll go into separation because your ego has such a stronghold. Your twin will not be perfect so don't put that expectation on them or think they are the key to your happiness. They may even push your buttons and trigger your deepest fears. Focus on you and your own growth. If both of you do this, you can overcome anything. I highly recommend doing some energy work as well. It can really accelerate your growth and help you let go of blockages.

MIRRORING

Think about all the things that may frustrate you about your twin then reflect on how you are doing the same thing. If you want your twin to get motivated, you get motivated about your mission in life... what gets you excited. If you want your twin to move, move into a new place, move into a new office... just move! If you want them to grow, grow. Dedicate time daily to your growth practices. If you think they should get rid of their addictions, you get rid of your addictions (even your addiction to them). This is one reason I recommend Byron Katie's work to everyone. She has a simple and effective process to help people shift responsibility back to themselves. I know that sounds like something you really don't want to do sometimes, but, when you do, you actually feel quite liberated and gain a better sense of humor and peace of mind. It really takes your stress away when you decide to question any stressful thoughts. So don't procrastinate and keep pushing those feelings aside. Address them and set yourself free every time something comes up.

WHY ARE WE SO DRAWN TO EACH OTHER?

There is a connection between you and this other person your soul is drawn to for a reason. Your soul wants to explore that connection. There's something inside of you that needs to shift. There's something inside that person that needs to shift. It's all to aid in your ascension. Sometimes, even when you're married to your twin, you're drawn to someone new. I know of a couple who discuss these issues with each other openly, when they arise, and decide if they want to explore with these new people and how they'll do that staying committed to each other. They really go deep together exploring and discussing what they're discovering about what this person is reflecting back to them and remain in their relationship making it even stronger as a result. Always be open with your partner. You can get through anything if you are.

DON'T ACCEPT ILL BEHAVIOR

I talk a lot about unconditional love. This is love for you as well as for him. If he disrespects you or treats you according to old karmic ways, he does not get a free pass because he is your twin flame. No. If he treats you like that, he's not ready for union. You have to set your boundaries and make sure you're taking care of yourself first and foremost.

WHY ARE WE APART?

Usually, if there's distance (separate locations or a separation in the relationship) it's because there's too great a difference between the vibrational levels of each individual. The more you come into harmony with each others' energies, the closer you get and/or more time you'll spend together. If you are in separation, just work on yourself and grow. Don't dwell in negativity or beat yourself up. Rise up and get passionate about your life and mission.

NO EXPECTATIONS

Do your best to not plan out your partner's future. Don't wait around wishing things would hurry along because then your life will be great. You're not loving yourself or them if you do that. In fact, wanting what's best for them is what will accelerate your union. The more each of us follows our bliss in any given moment, the more we're drawn to our ultimate destiny and since, we are each others' ultimate destiny, guess where our bliss will lead? So, if your partner is long distance and doesn't want to move here, don't push it. Encourage him to do what feels most exciting for him. Otherwise, he'll show resistance and it'll take longer to have to sort all those feelings out and all of that. You'll cause delays that way. Go with what brings them happiness. If he has a karmic partner, let him explore that. Again, it will ultimately help your relationship somehow. Choose the path of least resistance. And, even if it looks like that path is taking them away from you, trust it is actually a more direct path to you. Have faith in God having his hand in this and trust. 

Also, try not to expect them to be a certain way. Sometimes, before we're in union, we think we have an idea of who the other is and have them on a pedestal. Both partners do this. So, realize they are not perfect, just like you, and allow them to be whoever they show up as each moment. Make each moment new by not trying to pigeon hold them as who you knew them to be. I can't tell you how many times I've heard twins tell me their partner showed up out of the blue a completely different person! Forgive the past, if there was hurt, and allow what is not to be what it is and embrace it. Love them just as they are and they will do the same.

REJECTION

I'd heard certain people talk about how they'd been outright rejected by their twin flames. They'd been told they were not attracted to them. I would cringe hearing these stories thinking of how that must play with their minds and felt bad for them. I wondered how they could still think this person was their twin flame? Then it happened to me. The greatest love story of all time. Talk about a brain f_$%^! Then it made sense because how can I lead those on this journey who've been rejected if I hadn't been myself? I'm your guinea pig (you're welcome). It really sucked to get through that, but I came to realize it's a test of faith both in what you believe and faith in yourself. Keep in mind, I've heard, if your counterpart isn't ready, they will block any signs or synchronicities till they are. Some reasons they reject you are:

1) You forced him to face the journey or talked of your feelings too soon (before he was ready). Having said that, sometimes this happens by divine intervention so don't beat yourself up if it just comes out and makes him run. Just give him plenty of space.
2) If you're not his type, he would need to be friends first for awhile before he can feel safe envisioning anything romantic happening. Many masculines have said they were originally not turned onto their twin, but, after getting to know them, and deciding to give it a shot, they were blown away by the chemistry and ease of the relationship and wondered why they didn't see it before.
3) Sometimes they're so scared, they put up a speed bump of sorts to slow you down like pulling back on the reigns of an out of control team of horses!
4) Sometimes it's cognitive dissonance... two very opposite beliefs clashing which causes denial until they sort out who they really want to be and who they can be that with.
5) Sometimes they'll do it to deflect something they're trying to hide. If he can let you believe it's your fault for his rejecting you, it helps him feel justified in pulling away from you rather than face the guilt of not facing you. Later, when you hear the full story of what he was hiding and buying time to keep hidden, it could make you feel silly for thinking anything was wrong with you. So don't go there. If you're going to get in better shape, for example, do it for you. Don't do it 'cause you think that's why he rejected you.

Or perhaps all 5. This experience, believe it or not, is designed to give you more certainty and resolve when you come out the other end of the sting. Don't take it personally. That's kind of the point is to spring back with renewed faith, believe in yourself, do those things you've been meaning to do for yourself, and have faith in this connection despite any illusions that appear before you in the shape of circumstances. And let go!

FREE WILL

Your partner does have free will so, if he/she has rejected you, I would completely back off and know it will eventually work out if it's supposed to. The universe has its way of rocking their world and forcing the issue if it wants you together. Move on with your life completely. Do not force anything or do anything manipulative. You don't want to mess with free will.

LOVING YOURSELF

What does it mean to love "yourself"? First, there's the superficial kind of loving yourself which consists of taking care of your body, cutting yourself slack, not beating yourself up, taking a break, replenishing your energy, having a good attitude, having fun, and recharging your batteries. These things make you happy as long as they are there. Take them away and you'll get sucked back into negativity again. Up and down you go... loving yourself then hating yourself and back again. Circumstances dictating how you feel about yourself.

Then there's truly loving your "self". This a level where you realize there is the drama of life you're interacting with, but remain untouched by. At this level, you see you are not your personality, your body, your opinions, your beliefs, and, instead of feeding or accommodating that persona and its attachments, or trying to be a 'better' persona, you realize you are perfect in this moment as you are...that you are the authentic beingness beyond all of it. You are the tingly aliveness and animation of your body. You are free. Complete acceptance of all life has to offer however it shows up. Loving what is without wanting it to change. This is true love for self.

IS THERE ONLY ONE TWIN FLAME FOR US?

Yes. I believe this to be the case.  Elizabeth from House of Idems also concurs (I highly recommend her Facebook group) and Dr. Harmony writes of this in her book Twin Flame Codebreaker. There are plenty of karmic partners (those we learn from), but only one that shares this deep soul connection. Don't worry, though, if you think you might be barking up the wrong tree because the universe will sometimes dangle a carrot in front of us (a karmic partner disguised as the real one) to get us to move forward in a direction for our highest good. If we just follow the carrot (like in the matrix, you may have to follow the white rabbit), you are still being led to what ends up being a cake! And the cake will be even better. You can't go wrong as long as you're growing in your love for yourself and passion for life and your mission in it. And, yes, it's romantic! Soulmates can be a brother, sister, dog, or hamster but your twin flame is the one who can set your heart and passion for life on fire. You are the male and female aspects of the same soul.

ARE TWIN FLAMES ONLY ROMANTIC?

Yes. Soulmates can be a brother, sister, dog, or hamster but your twin flame is the one who can set your heart and passion for life on fire. You are the male and female aspects of the same soul. Having said that, they can start out as friends which are the types that take the longest, but are the most harmonious in the longrun.

HOW TO IDENTIFY A TWIN FLAME

The following list I got from the book "Twin Flame Code Breaker 11:11 Key Codes" by Dr. Harmony:

  • Twin flames feel the need to be honest. The ultimate truth comes up and they feel the need for confession.
  • Twins can communicate about anything and everything and can spend hours talking.
  • Twins feel that they are born to carry out a great mission or have a greater purpose.
  • Twins emit creative energy used to create something productive individually and together.
  • Twins know the other person as well or better than they know themselves.
  • Twins enter 5D (5th dimension time), where time goes by fast, to accelerate the process, getting them on the same page faster.
  • Twins get on a fast track of esoteric cosmic wisdom.
  • Twins start seeing 11:11 around the time of physical connection.
  • There is usually not an immediate chemical attraction (lust); they are typically "not your type". (this is to help us overcome our egos and love from the heart.). Once together, however, the passion is unparalleled.
  • Twins prepare for advanced ascension work and do this work together after each have awakened spiritually, or at least are in the process.
  • Twins can see issues that need resolving in other people and they know how to help them.
  • Twins are always teaching each other.
  • Twins are very intuitive; one or both have a strong connection and are guided by spirit.
  • Twins feel each other's pain (and even have been know to feel each others' hang over and sex with other partners) - even when separated.
  • Twins come together to help complete the balance of their masculine/feminine energies.
  • Twins feel an emotional and spiritual connection (and have usually had some type of kundalini/spiritual awakening).
  • Twins have suffered much pain in previous relationships.
  • Twins usually have some form of telepathic communication.
  • Twins have the ability to heal others.
  • Twins look, feel, and act younger.
  • Twins are capable but have trouble asking for help.
  • Twins activate past life awareness's in order to clear the past.

Other indicators or FAQ I've learned from other sources since I've been on this journey:

  • The Divine Feminine twins usually look into the meaning of twin flames when they meet.

I looked back in time to see when I'd met my twin to see if this was true and it was. I liked another guy at the time we met, but I did start watching twin flame videos right at that time. I was watching them thinking it could be the other guy, but the timing was there.

  • Twins usually feel fed up with regular (karmic) relationships and just want to find their soulmate.

When we first met, he said, "I just want to meet my soulmate" and I said, "You and me both." Ha! Little did we know we just had.

  • As I said, the Divine Feminine usually knows first. Once she/he knows, she starts to reach out to the masculine. At first, she makes more effort than he does, but eventually learns to trust in divine timing and lets it happen naturally. She learns to trust it without needing 'proof'. Part of the reason for this is, she needs to heal abandonment issues and get over insecurities (on the flip side, he's doing the same thing but in a different way which is one reason why he doesn't reach out back except to stay connected however he can find the ability, strength, and courage to while he faces a stage called his "dark night of the soul" which I go into below.).  
  • I have shared my personal twin flame story on this page so you can see more examples from my own journey for more inspiration and faith building.
     
  • Twins trust each other automatically. It can take you back to an innocent, childlike time in your life like how your best friend felt when you were little.
     
  • The DF's job is protector and dreamer and the DM is the one who 'makes it happen' (the doer/manifester).
     
  • They can be opposites in some ways, but compliment each other very well - usually one is strong where the other is weak and vice versa. Together, they become an unstoppable force.
     
  • Twins often have the same or similar physical ailments or struggle with the same things in different ways. For example, if one has a chronic problem with their knee, often times, the other twin either has the same thing or develops it. I know one couple where the feminine's calves pop (how common is that?). After living together, his calves also began to pop. Crazy!
     
  • Twins often have a significant age difference (not always, but it's common). I don't know why this is, but this seems to be yet another egoic thing they have to get over... that true love trumps societal and egoic rules.
     
  •  Twins can't stop thinking about each other. Even when you put them completely out of your mind and move on, they're still in the background like trying to run from your own shadow. You just can't shake them.
     
  • Twins boost your faith in the opposite sex again. They make you feel like you can love again and, at the same time, it scares you for the same reason. It can be terrifying.
     
  • Feminines may feel the inclination to protect him like you would a sweet kitten. I know I did. This is because the Divine Feminine's job is protector and visionary.
     
  • Psychics and readers can tell you he's the one, but you're ultimately the only one who can really tell. It's just not like anything you've ever had with anyone else before and you'll compare everyone to them. There's a purity... a divine pull that keeps sucking you in.

IS THERE A FALSE TWIN FLAME?

No. But there were three guys I thought might be my soulmate before I met the actual one. This was partially because of a special circumstance where I was inspired to move to Boulder by a deceased ex boyfriend who told me to go there to find my soulmate. This made me look for him constantly (and the universe had fun with that - the real twin flame I didn't see coming of course). And, reflecting back on their significance, each one prepared me for a certain aspect of my twin I had to get acclimated to. One made me feel comfortable and desired in my skin again and ignited passion in me again for the first time since my divorce. He was 20 years younger, good looking, and tender hearted. He also helped me trust men could be good again. The next taught me about shy guys, what a great catch they are once they commit, and I saw the importance and relevance of past lives and how they influence us in this life. He was also young and super cute. He and I had a really playful, sweet connection. The third was my best friend who was 21 years younger. We hung out for hours and never tired of each other. We made each other laugh so hard for hours on end. We were fascinated by each other. We talked about everything under the sun with complete honesty.  We could sit and 'just be' in silence together for hours. He cracked my heart wide open and expanded me.

My twin has all of the attributes of all three of them only he is just 13 years younger, more mature, solid, established in his work, emotionally intelligent, and more in line with my beliefs.  If I'd have had all this in my twin all at the same time, it'd have been overwhelming and I'd probably have felt I wasn't worthy or good enough. Now I can't imagine anyone better for him than me. I still get twinges of insecurity, sure, but, if it weren't for these others, I don't think there'd have been a chance. I'd have just been too skeptical of it all seeming too good to be true. It's all perfectly and divinely orchestrated so trust the process. You'll know when you've hit home.

AM I THE DIVINE FEMININE (DF)?

The divine feminine is a woman who has gone through hell and back only to come to a loving and mature place of feeling abundant and trusting in the universe. She feels like life is on her side and is quite happy with how her life is at present. Her face is to the sun and she has her arms out taking in the sun's rays. She is grateful and radiant. She has not become tainted by her past hurts. Those hurts have only become the charcoal that makes her fire burn more fiercely. She, often times, is a healer or spiritual teacher or is stepping into some sort of nurturing role in life. She speaks her truth in a loving and passionate way and doesn't cower at opposition. She's learned to stand up for herself with firmness yet gentleness. She takes personal responsibility for her own happiness. She loves her divine masculine unconditionally. She most likely pursued her divine masculine counterpart at first, but came to a place of respecting his process, trusting in divine timing, and surrender while she is pursuing her passions and going forward making her life the best it can be and following her divine mission. She does what her heart prompts her to in any given moment and gives him plenty of space. She most likely also has issues she's healing or has healed with her parents - mainly, her father. She knows she must heal those issues or she will find those issues reflected back to her in her relationship with her divine masculine. She's learning to stand in her power and truth despite fears of abandonment and fear of unrequited love while he faces fears of someone being too needy. She's most likely been watching twin flame videos to keep apprised of where he's at, but keeps letting go, working on any fears that surface, and goes back to pursuing her own happiness and peace of mind.

If this doesn't describe you, remember there are different phases or waves so if you still have some forgiveness or healing to be had till you feel this free, don't be disheartened. Just keep developing and you'll be on the next wave. It's all a matter of divine timing.

I think the divine feminines and masculines were the "sweet ones" who tried to make our marriages work, who tried to be in integrity and honor, who were faithful, told the truth, and did our very best to be the best spouses we could be and were abused, put down, made fun of, and treated poorly as a result. We were "weak" to the cold of heart. These sweet, kind-hearted people have now left these karmic relationships, having learned to love and value themselves, and are now ready to begin a whole new level of love on a level all its own. They are evolving into realizing their worth and yearning for the kind of love that heals you from the inside out... a child like, innocent, pure hearted love that makes their hearts and minds expand and their partner cherishes them for who they are (because they essentially ARE them).  They're coming home to themselves. Pure harmonious love with balanced masculine/feminine energy.

A SIGN YOU MAY BE CLOSE TO UNION

I've heard this before that many twins come into union right at a time in their lives when it felt like their lives were falling apart. I always thought that was weird and my life's always gone so well I didn't suspect that would be the case for me, but, now I think I know why that is. I think it's because unions happen around lunar eclipses and other intense moon energies. Within these energies, you are forced (made to feel SO uncomfortable you make big changes) to get rid of everything that doesn't serve you anymore, face your demons, and kind of start your life all over again with a clean slate. Makes sense that's when he would step in, right? Like having a blank canvas and create new lives together. My twin and I actually met under the energy of an eclipse. 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE, BUT ALL ONE

Sometimes, when we're going through this "life falling apart" time like this, we may feel lonely, betrayed, hurt, and left to fend for ourselves and like no one has our backs... like it's you against the world. But alone really means "all one". When you realize you are all one, there is no difference between you and everyone else and, just like water runs any obstacles, so, too, can you move right around anyone you feel you can't trust anymore and be supported by anyone and everyone. In a sense, when you broaden your scope, you are then supported by ALL of life. A stranger may give you a huge tip, a hug, someone from the past offers you gratitude. You run across a wonderful opportunity.

WHY ISN'T HE REACHING OUT TO ME?

For some time, Divine Feminines feel awfully ignored and rejected. They question the connection and think this might just be a case of unrequited love and wonder when it's time to move on. You can go ahead and try to cut chords and get rid of him, girls, and that might be a good idea for some of you in case he's not your true twin. But, if he is your twin, there'll be no shaking him no matter what you try (and vice versa). So, why is he not reaching out or responding to you?  I know this is overly simple, but, he's just not ready. Period. Your job, at this point, is to make your wish, so to speak (which you have), and leave it totally alone with faith it's all working out. My guided meditation above helps you be in that feeling tone without putting pressure on your masculine. You just bask in the lovely energy of being with him. Take your attention completely off of him, keep healing, get on with your life mission, and have fun! Also, respect his decision not to reach out 'cause he's got a darn good reason for it. If you were a fly on the wall in his life, trust me, you'd be grateful he's keeping you out of it! He's sparing you. And, at the right time, and in the right way, there he'll be. And you will rest assured he likes you back and all those readings all this time were true. You'll feel silly for not trusting the universe.  TRUST. Do the exercises below to deal with any resentment or other negative emotions that arise. If thinking about your twin makes you mad, don't think about him. The law of attraction will just keep bringing you more frustration.  Just focus on gratitude and enjoyment of life and detach. Also, let him decide on his own who's right for him. Show you're confident in your connection by not worrying or fretting about anyone he's dating. You were made for him... who can compete? Please. Just show your support knowing there is a valuable lesson in this exploration he must go through just as you will closer to union...

TEMPTATION

When you get close to union, you may experience more temptation. These are sort of like tests, but it's more like God just continuously gives us options we've chosen before along with new choices so we truly have free will and are choosing what we truly want.  There are also dark forces at work trying to figure out a way to not let these unions happen, from any angle they can, because it is causing the vibration of the planet to rise which they do not want.

When you get close to union, you could experience more temptation. I had a guy convince himself he's my twin flame even and stalk me at work. I had another take me out and try to manipulate me pretending to be falling in love with me, but I was able to read it like never before and call it the B.S. it was. One guy heavily hit on me privately and I rotated on my heels to narrowly escape (and he was gorgeous! Lordy.). People started hanging out with me and asking me out left and right. Cute guys, successful guys... great catches! I even had two guys I was previously interested in before I knew my DM, who'd left for adventure in other states, suddenly decide they're moving back to Boulder and immediately came to see how I was doing (gulp). And, yes, I have hung out with some of these guys and considered what a relationship would be like with them. I've only told guys about my twin when it looks like they need to know (I can't deceive someone like that). This discovery is not only part of our growth process, helps us sort out what we really want (and truly value it), but we learn how to be better communicators and sometimes these people hold a key to your future success or kind of fill a void for you in some way as sort of a space-holder till your twin comes into the picture (these are known as 'twin flame facilitators' - other twin flames on a spiritual quest and you help each other prepare) keeping you from feeling lonely and helping you trust in the process and grow each other.

If you know your twin, sex will be meaningless (you'll probably just think about your twin anyway) and you might end of feeling guilty so why do it? Yes, you can have some sort of tantric experience with someone, that's a spiritual experience, and teaches you something deep you can then pertain to your relationship with your twin, but why not discover that with him once in union? Do what you will, but, for me, I want to keep my energy clean and clear of anyone else's energy (you end of getting chords that attach the two of you when you have sex that can enable them to continue to feed off of your energy if you don't get them cleared away before you go into union with your twin). I recommend celibacy, but also not to wait. Get out there, date, and have fun. Just keep it clean. I also try not to kiss. It's hard, once you kiss, to stop and you'll get the guy's hopes up.

If you already have a karmic, they could sense, or even know, you have a divine feminine and try to give you a guilt trip, manipulate, control, or seduce you in order to  sabotage your relationship with her to keep you from coming together. They may even resort to trying to get pregnant so you have a bond forever.

 

WATCHING TWIN FLAME READINGS

There are lots of readers out there in Youtube land. I avoid fear-based ones and stick with the ones that seem spot on for me as it speaks to the DF (Divine Feminine). If you don't know who your twin flame is, just know that, if they're describing you and what you're going through to a "T", you've got a counterpart out there that is going through what the DM (Divine Masculine) is going through so just learn and grow till you two meet and magnetize toward union.  If you do know who he is, keep in mind these readings are geared toward the collective so not everyone will resonate in every way. For example, I resonate with most divine feminine readings 100%, but, when they talk about issues she's having with her children, I know that's about the DF's who have kids... not me (yet I still listen trying to see if there's a twist on it like maybe it's not about our kids we already have, but kids he may want to have for example). But the rest applies. Also, sometimes, they talk about the DF who's mad and resentful because of years of difficulty between her and her DM. That's not me either. My twin flame journey started in February. So there'll be some things like that you'll ignore and just pay attention to those things that pertain... most of all, the advice.

WATCHING DIVINE MASCULINE READINGS

You'll notice the DM videos are watched twice as much as the DF videos. But, if you are only looking at the DM readings only, you probably aren't ready for union. Why? This whole process is about you learning self love. When you love yourself, you're healing him and yourself at the same time. I always watch the DF videos as well so I can get advice from ancient tarot wisdom (divine divination) as to what to do to grow or assist. In any relationship, you have to take personal responsibility. You can't wait on a man to make you happy because he won't... only you can make you happy so learn how to do that now. If you're more interested in snooping about him, but don't care about your own growth, your union will be delayed.

DEALING WITH OUR SHADOW SIDE

The most important element of coming together with your twin flame is each of you being balanced equally in your feminine and masculine sides and to be healed and whole individually (it's not like you both have to be perfect, but you've got to be willing to take personal responsibility and not let your ego run the show). In order to do this, you've got to face your shadow side head on. Here are some tools to help you breeze through any triggers and issues that will arise to cleanse you of any remnants of co-dependency, fear, and ego that remain as an obstacle to you guys coming together:

Respecting the Shadow exercise
Learning how to love yourself

I LOVE YOU (I do this every night)
Physically touch your heart, close your eyes, and say, "I love you" to yourself like a mantra repeatedly (and, yes, he feels it too)
Then, once you've got a good buzz going, start thinking back through your day and reflect on anything that bothered you about you and say, "I love you even when..." or "I love you even if..." and keep going till you can't think of anything else that needs addressing. It's a great way to love yourself and get a good night's sleep. You can even do this right when you're hard on yourself throughout the day too.

I DON'T WANT TO GET HURT AGAIN

It's always scary to open your heart up again. There is a lot of pain that comes along with the perks. Those triggers will come up and, at first, you'll be scared they'll respond like your ex's (the "karmics" - the ones who teach us lessons) when you feel like you need to bring something up (all the divine feminines have come through some super hard past relationships to help you grow and make you appreciate this rare find). Then you'll come to realize his reaction doesn't matter because you've come to love and support yourself through this time and can take care of yourself. Plus, there's a quality there in him you notice is kinda new for you... kindness. Compassion. He cares. Deeply. Maybe not about everything, but the stuff that matters. As time goes by, you'll notice you become less and less triggered and you become more and more free through the same clean up process you used on yourself prior to this relationship. The relationship becomes a portal for you to transcend the ego once and for all... only with someone. And, for the most part, they get you. On a deep level, they get you. You just feel it. Sure, you'll disagree, but it'll make sense. You'll balance each other out and kinda 'spot' each other. When both of you become more free, in your power, trusting, and loving, what could ever stand in your way? What God has brought together, let no man put asunder. Our karmics were valuable teaching tools is all. Now we step into fully loving ourselves like never before. We take it to a whole other level. Scary stuff for sure.

This is like the big leagues of relationships!

 

If you are struggling to get into a good place
and even contemplating suicide, please:

Call 1-800-273-8255

This Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential
support for people in distress.

 

A MESSAGE FOR THE DIVINE FEMININE

SUGGESTED STONES

APOPHYLLITE WITH STILLBITE CLUSTER = Attracts and finds a life-long mate.

ROSE QUARTZ = Invites love into your life.  It opens your heart to receive love and gently reminds you that you are worthy of love. Wear this stone or keep it by your bedside to remind you that love is coming your way.
DOUBLE TERMINATED CRYSTAL QUARTZ = The Soulmate stone.
SARDONYX = Sardonyx is a highly protective stone that embodies a vibration of happiness, optimism and confidence. It helps to boost your self control and your level of personal power. This stone creates an excellent grounding action through the earth and base chakras, and brings you back to earth after spiritual work. It has excellent metaphysical properties that encourage motivation, willpower, discipline and strength of character. 

MALACHITE = The beautiful green swirls in this stone help to usher away hurtful memories.  Malachite works quickly and diligently to clear away painful heartache and make way for new love.  Try sleeping with this stone on your heart chakra.  Alternately, you can wear the stone as a pendant over your heart or you can sleep it with it under the pillow. 

RHODOCROSITE = The lovely marbling of pinks and whites in this stone helps us to unite the different aspects of our personality so that we can learn to truly love ourselves.  The only way to bring true, authentic love into your life is to love yourself first.  Rhodocrosite helps you to appreciate yourself as it teaches that you are worthy of love, health and happiness.

RHODONITE = The pinks and blacks in this stone remind us that affairs of the heart are often painful.  Rhodonite is the Stone of Forgiveness and it will help you to let go of any pain from a past relationship with an attitude of love and forgiveness as it gently cleanses your aura of hurt, anger, regret and bitterness.

GREEN AVENTURINE = Known as the Stone of Love and Luck, carrying this stone with you will increase your confidence and your luck at attracting new love into your life.  It'll bring you that first date as well as luck with how it goes. It’s also known as a Stone of Abundance, so keep one in your wallet to ensure new financial resources too!

APACHE TEAR = This form of Obsidian is known to absorb depression, grief and negativity.  Legends say that as the Apache women and children watched their men die in battle to save their land and way of life, they cried rivers of tears.  These tears hardened into these Obsidian stones which we call Apache Tears.  The legend says that whoever holds an Apache Tear will never grieve again.  Carry this stone with you to help absorb any sadness you may be carrying in your heart.

CITRINE = This joyful, sunny stone is known as the Stone of Success.  It will help make you feel more empowered, confident and sure of yourself.  Carry this stone or wear it as jewelry to enhance your self-esteem, confidence and joy.

 

Seek First the Kingdom

Many of you know I was enlightened years ago for six months. For those of you who don't know about this experience I had, you can click here to watch a video where I talk with Bentinho Massaro about it.

I have begun to experience a re-emergence of sorts that is making it difficult to talk or write. However, I am consciously writing these words in an attempt to help others who've been, as Mooji puts it, "Kissed by God" to get back 'home' (I have a new appreciation for the prodigal son parable) or perhaps people who've been trying to reach enlightenment for years to no avail. I'm finding more and more people around me are going through a re-awakening as well so there must be a massive wave of opportunity going on right now in the universal flow. 

Here are some notes I've been taking. Much, if not all, of this can be found in Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth, but here goes:

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

You must give up all that you want and become one with God again like when you were born (essentially become born again). This requires you to lose all interest in your life and its dramas as they stand at this moment and put your full alert attention on only this moment. Then:

  • Always keep your attention divided by feeling the energy in your body at the same time as your attention is elsewhere. 
  • Keep your attention on the space around you and lose interest in all drama or concerns of life.
  • If you think, just watch the thoughts. Your thoughts lose their significance in time. This turns into mere knowingness.
  • Let just this connected feeling with source energy be enough. Don't strive for a finish line based on a prior experience or something you've heard it should be like.
  • Remain with your attention this way. Incubate. Gestate.
  • For awhile it feels like work and feels like there are two of you then they merge. One surrenders.
  • Essentially you are allowing the larger, more true part of you, to take the reigns.
  • Stay tethered only to the feeling of a force field within you and your heart's expansion. 
  • What you put your attention on expands so go watch nature and see yourself in what you see.
  • There is no need for the flower to be forced open. Just remain open to the unfolding.
  • There is no need to keep, contain, build, or harness this energy. Just remove any obstacle to you being aware you're fully immersed already.
  • It's almost as if we're learning to use as many senses as possible, at the same time, increasing our capacity to receive divine intelligence exponentially.

Once you are fully immersed, you will find your dreams begin to manifest before your eyes. Then you simply take loving action when prompted to do so by your spirit and instinct.

The benefit to having awakened before is the path feels familiar like returning home from a journey. You give up for awhile and go away discouraged but then come back with renewed vigor. As Mooji says, "You stay in the nothing, as the nothing, until the effort to stay disappears." Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.

Confessions of a Healer

I used to lay in bed at night and cry myself to sleep. My husband at the time would console me as best he could then I would wake up at 3:00 in the morning and start sobbing all over again. I had been married to a prior husband in a household full of amazing animals. When we divorced, I had to abandon most of them. We were all very close knit and this tore me apart. We had three german shepherds, a maltese, and five cats and each of them was my best friend. It was almost impossible to choose which two to bring to an apartment.

Then, when I finally chose, I still had to keep picking one of my shepherds up each week to take to the chiropractor because she had a degenerative disease in her back and was getting to the point she couldn't go the bathroom anymore. As her condition did not seem to be improving, I had to take her to vet visits to have her evacuated (this was this vet's first practice and we were his first clients when Loba was just a pup so she grew up with this vet). He (and his lovely wife we'd also grown close to) and I (alone) eventually had to have her put down at the tender year of two while she laid across my lap and peed all over me still so full of life (she loved frisbees and balls so much she was still taking off after one to her last day).

Soon after, one of the cats I had chosen to live in my apartment with me had been sneezing a lot and started to drool. I brought him to the vet to find out what was going on. I found out he was going through kidney failure and was going to die (Loba had just died two weeks prior). He was dying because some guy bought me my favorite flowers (Stargazer lillies) to impress me even though I had quickly brought them to the bathroom so the cats wouldn't get into them and I could do some research on the internet to see if they were safe. I remembered one petal dropped on the floor between the front door and the bathroom and he had licked the petal (when I discovered they were poisonous, I was actually relieved because he had only licked it). I never cried so hard as I did holding sweet little Leo's lifeless body in my arms all because some stupid guy gave me flowers. He was such an angel and so young.

In the meantime, our little maltese, who literally looked up to me endearingly every waking moment, but who I was unsuccessful at potty training despite my best efforts as a positive reinforcement trainer, got placed in a new home. And one of my german shepherds we adopted I promised would never have to go to another home again as long as he lived because he'd been tossed around like a toy from home to home for many years, went to a new home because my ex husband said he was dying of a broken heart and he couldn't stand watching it. He was with his new owners a short time, started having seizures, and died. One cat went missing as well. It was such a horrible time. And so many different aspects of this could have paralyzed me. By the way, later, my ex admitted he'd bought me an animal every time he was afraid I'd leave him so I'd stay. So, ALL OF THIS - MY FAULT.

I could have decided I'd never own another animal. I could have been angry and vengeful toward this guy who gave me flowers that killed my cat. I could have hated my ex husband for not helping me help Loba get better. Although this entire circumstance ripped my heart apart, I knew I wasn't honoring them, couldn't bring them back, and wasn't doing any good to anyone or myself by sulking. So I, instead, strived to move on and forgive myself and everyone else involved. In this way, I felt I honored them by using them to make me a more loving person, was good to me by teaching myself that I love myself unconditionally, and was good to others by letting this experience shape me into a more compassionate person and caused me to become a foster mom for kittens years later.

I also had an affair with a married man (I was single). In fact, he was my boss. I had resisted it strongly, taking the moral high ground, at first (I'd never cheated on anyone in my life). But he was unrelenting in his efforts and I feared losing my favorite job I'd ever had making the most money I'd ever made. We had also become quite emotionally close. It was inevitable. And we were caught up in this "faux" relationship for three years! It was so hard to be in and so hard to leave at the same time. I would date other guys to try to move on, but he would make grand, romantic gestures to win me back again over and over and rip my heart open time and again. To add to it, I had started to fall in love with his amazing, beautiful children as well. Although, we were making plans to get an apartment together, he ultimately refused to leave because of them.I was STUCK. I finally had to move out of state and get "stabbed in the back" by him to finally move on.

And these are just two examples of so many things I could regret. I could make a huge list. Ultimate freedom, however, is to lovingly embrace and appreciate all of these things that used to torture us. Then we feel true transformative power and honor our pasts. If you are struggling to forgive yourself for something, I highly recommend this video. You will see the truth.

Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.

 

 

 

 

 

I love when he...

I'd share one of my favorite tools for clearing out our old relationship stuff and bringing in the new, more ideal love you desire.

First off, I'd like to recommend my exercise "Thank You, God, for my Misery" for those of you who still harbor any kind of ill feelings against a former partner. That's first and foremost because it's important to not bring that baggage into this wonderful new person's experience of you.

Next, I recommend reading my article "Why You Must Love Yourself First" to be sure your inner beliefs and dialogue is properly supporting you because this new relationship is not going to fill any holes for you. That's your responsibility. In fact, if you think they'll make your life easier, think again. Yes, maybe in some ways, but, ultimately, they will trigger you and bring out your deepest fears... this is just the start of a new, deeper journey into your unhealed pain. Read "Not to Pop Your Bubble" if you have been thinking this relationship is all you need to make you happy.

Okay!  Now that you've done a little homework and you're ready, we're to the fun part. I suggest making a list of things you love about all your ex's and even your guy friends. It'll look like this:

I love when he comes up behind me and kisses my neck
I love that he laughs at my quirkiness and respects my uniqueness
I love when we can't help but hold hands everywhere we go
I love when we look deep into each others eyes and smile knowingly
I love when he totally gets me and the look he's giving me says it all
I love that he's financially responsible
I love that he takes me out on a date once a week come rain or shine
I love when he surprises me
I love that he plans all the details to our upcoming trips with my preferences in mind
I love that I can tell him anything and he doesn't jump to conclusions. He listens with an open heart and mind unguarded.
I love that he tells me the truth no matter how hard it may be
I love that I feel good about myself being in his presence
I love how we compromise and work together easily on any endeavor
I love how attracted we are to each other
I love how playful we are and that we don't take life too seriously
I love the way we support and encourage each other in our passions
I love when he lets me know he's thinking of me
I love when he makes me dinner or we make dinner together
I love cuddling with him
I love that it's so easy to trust him
I love when he does sweet little considerate things for me unexpectedly
I love that he inspires me to be a better person without any judgment
I love that he listens with kindness and compassion

Try it... you'll like it!  Make your list and read through it as often as you like. You can visualize or feel into each of these statements without a face rather than having to think about your ex or whoever inspired the statement. The idea is to FEEL as if it's already in your life. Don't be afraid to think of a specific person... the universe will bring the right one anyway and loves a good surprise. :)

Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.
 

 

 

 

Not to Pop Your Bubble

(Why What We Want Won't Make Us Happy)
 

The most frequently asked questions I get are "When am I going to meet my new guy/girl?", "What school will I go to?",  "Will I get this job I want?",  "Will my son ever stop being an addict (or some other variation of something that needs to change)?",  "What is my life purpose?",  "Am I on track in my life?",  "What's my ideal career?", "What's the root of my illness?",  "Will my book publish?". But what are they actually looking for?  Happiness. 

Then, once I give them intuitive probabilities, the questions come "When will this happen?" "But how is this going to happen when _______?", "But what if _______?", "How will I get this job/apartment/lover when I don't have ______ that qualifies me as a good fit?"

Often times, their guides have me tell them, "I will only give you ONE step. Once you take that step, I will give you another."  Why is it they do that?  Are they just trying to torture us?  Why can't we see 15 steps into the future and have it all planned out?  I talked with a panel of archangels once who joked about this, "Afterall, this is the purpose and joy of it all... to know all that is to come, yes?" and everyone laughed and they said, "your laughter made our point".

The answer is all of these things are just carrots dangling, but you'll never really get "there" until you go within for your answers and here is why:

Right now is the only moment that ever really exists.  There's a wellspring that pours through a portal into your experience.  That portal and wellspring is you in this moment.  What I mean by moment is literally right now as you're reading this... that feeling that you are alive... that tingling in your body... that concentration as you read this.  Not what your mind drifts off to in your imagination which is essentially all your past and future are... your imagination. 

The thing is why would you spend your precious now, the very vessel from which all creation is pouring forth through, on all of these ponderings of the future or dwellings of the past (and the ensuing feelings of worry or guilt attached) when you have this wellspring of peace, joy, and contentment right here and now when you clear the other stuff away?  We have all the answers here and now kind of like when a pipe bursts and all the water shoots out of one spot with great pressure.  When you don't spread your energy around with many holes all over the pipe, making the water seep out slowly, you concentrate all your energy on the one hole... now... and all of the knowledge of all of the water comes through you with great power and certainty. 

It's also like these various colored light filters put over cameras in the movies.  You have red, blue, yellow, and such. It's like a thin film they put over a light that then can turn the whole room red, green, or whatever.  When your wellspring is pouring through a filter of red (let's say the past), everything in the room turns red.  Same thing with the other colors.  But when you don't put a filter on the camera (your feeling state is contentment, freedom, and your mind is clear), you see everything just the way it is.

Also, many people don't realize this, but allowing the wellspring to pour through purely and untainted, you are also bringing forth into your reality the best possible solutions and outcomes according to your very best and highest good from the perspective of your higher self who is much wiser and has seen your life from a birds eye view and has your very best interests at heart at all times. Who better would you like to have running your life?  You with your many biases and judgements or the you who knows the true desires of your heart?  It is also ultimate vulnerability which is a two sided coin as it's also our ultimate power.  It's telling God "You just operate through me here. I trust you. I surrender this to you." After you reach this level of surrender in the moment every moment, it's like the whole universe conspires to make your every wish come true.

You think, once you find that great relationship, it's going to be happily ever after?  No. That's when the work begins.  Once you reach what you want, you'll then have a whole new set of things to ponder and worry about. "What will I do when they get mad at me?", "What if they fall in love with someone else down the road?", "Will they accept this about me?"... the list goes on and on and ON.  All tricks of the ego trying to keep your anywhere but here now. Why?  Because that's where the ego exists and it tries to convince you that you need it by telling you IT has all the answers if only you'd do this or that different.  But you don't need it at all. It's just a trick to keep you from freedom.

I'm not just saying this because it's a great theory I've read about in a book, although I do highly recommend Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth if you want to understand all of this in depth, but I am speaking from direct experience.  I have been enlightened and I know our true nature and what we're capable of as human beings.  We've become convinced, through societal programming, that worry, thinking, analyzing, and controlling everything are what bring about the results we want.  It couldn't be more untrue.  Truly surrendering to this moment every moment is not only going to bring you what you want, but the satisfaction with whatever it is that comes as well because you'll be living in the ultimate freedom... living in eager anticipation and joy of every moment that pours through the wellspring like staring into a fire fascinated by it's various forms as it moves about enchanting us with its dance. Why do you think we love staring into a fire?  It symbolizes us. 

If you truly want to be happy, my suggestion is to become very best friends with right now and make now the most important moment of your life.  Stay in a state of awe and wonder at the things that unfold like a child experiencing things for the first time.  Stay in a state of joy, eager anticipation & expansion in your heart. THEN you'll see what happiness really is... you coming back to your natural state again resting in the "Kingdom of God within".  This is your ultimate "present"... living in the present.

Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.

My Journey To Positivity

You may not believe this, but I was flat out pessimistic in my early 20's.  I hated the world and thought everyone around me was to blame for my upset.  I wanted everyone around me to just change already (then my life would work)! I always knew the perfect thing they could do to make my life SO much easier.  I thought people who were positive were just "Mary Poppins in the clouds" and that, as soon as they had their bubble popped, they'd be right down here with me so why not just be here when they pop to reassure them this is where reality is with a "See? I told you so. If you just stay down here in reality, you'll never be disappointed". I felt like a total victim of life and thought life must hate me.  I loved horses, but they'd only make me happy as long as I was with them.  The minute I'd have to deal with people again, on the downward spiral I went.  I'd often lock myself in my room watching movie marathons to block out the cold cruel world while my mom would lovingly bring me graham crackers and milk, chocolate chip mint ice cream or even pet my hair and hum to me telling me how precious I was (she was amazing in moments like these, but even that didn't make me happy "out there").  I believed in a God, but thought he must not think very highly of me to put me through all the crap I'd been through. Then I went through a transformational experience in a church that introduced me to the possibility of being happy through God.  But somehow striving to be perfect all the time and shunning my sin didn't make me happy either. It made me happy-er to think I was on the "same side as the creator" who was going to keep me safe from damnation if I did my best and I liked hanging out with like minded people who were trying to work on themselves for the most part as well. The camaraderie was great!

But it wasn't till a very loving friend of mine gently kept pointing my focus back to ME that I started to:

1) rebel at her doing that 'cause it would piss me off she kept saying I was the liar when I felt I'd been betrayed by a liar
2) ponder, but not "get" it because my ego wasn't going to go without putting up a HUGE fight then eventually, yes,
3) make breakthroughs that felt like the most authentic loving freedom I had ever felt. I finally felt happy and liberated! 

I realized I was the one responsible for my perspective of everything I experienced and, therefore, was the one in full control of my own happiness.  This made it scary, but freeing also - depending on whether I believed I could be free or positive enough to remain in a good place.  I knew I was fully capable of going either way on the spectrum, but at least I knew I could do something about it if I chose to.  I then had an awakening experience for six months that showed me what we are truly capable of as these spirits in human bodies.  The intensity of it didn't last more than six months, but that's because I had more to learn before fully resting in that place. 

For years following, I was comparing the awakening experience to my even more miserable existence than before, in comparison, and I was brought to another realization.  Happiness is a choice.  Yes, but how do you choose to be happy when you feel miserable or sad or full of regret?  This next part was key.  I had to embrace my shadow side.  I had to learn to be ok or even good with when I was miserable as well as when I was happy!  It was only my judgement of myself that I shouldn't feel that way that really made me depressed.  When I learned to embrace all of it... the good and the bad... as all just part of the earthly experience, I was able to begin to love myself and be easier on myself.  I immersed myself in things that made me feel happy, inspired, and uplifted as much as I could. Then I'd fall and get depressed feeling like the other stuff was fake and really didn't work. Then I'd watch something and be up again.

It was a clumsy coming to balance, but eventually I decided to put all my belief behind the most positive thoughts I could till I had built up the muscle so strong that it over-road my prior thinking altogether and my undertone in life became "I am so completely loved and supported in all ways and always.  Everything always works out so incredibly for me."  No matter what happens in my life now, "bad" or "good" only reinforces this because you can't just take a picture of a moment in time and make a blanket statement that your life is bad. You have to take in the whole picture and see the way life is supporting you especially in the seeming struggles (see my exercise "Thank you, God, for my misery").  You are always being led to your highest desires every minute of every day if you can just do your best to align with joy and faith as often as possible and love yourself through the rough parts (which I DO still have). Everything is ALWAYS there to help you wake up and to support your journey - without fail.  You just have to retrain your brain to see it, feel it, and know it to your core.  Feel free to check out my resources page for further exploration.  Some people say "Positivity is great, but sometimes you need the truth" don't realize the truth IS positivity. The rest is misalignment with your truth. In fact, that's how you can tell the truth from the false.  If it feels good, it's truth.  If it feels bad, it's a lie.  If you can turn your bad into good, you've mastered the concept.  Nothing bad can ever happen to you if you keep the big picture in mind that everything is for your ultimate evolution. You may have your bubble burst or be disappointed in this moment (which you embrace), but you always know the universe has your back in the long run which gives you the ultimate freedom... positivity.

"When gratitude meets gratitude, a moment of unity occurs.  When anger denies its own evolution by lashing out at gratitude, victimhood unfolds.  When anger fights against anger, conflict arises. And when the light being attacked by the darkness of judgment knows that the darkness is only attacking to deny its own evolution, liberation has been found.  What this means is that we don't need internal turmoil or interpersonal conflict when we're willing to say, 'I get that every moment of my life is a spiritual initiation and, no matter what I think about spirituality, if I can just surrender to the way I define a higher power, that every moment of my life is coming to be because a higher power is guiding me through a journey to go from who I was to my best possible expression (and the in-between doesn't have to be comfortable, convenient, or to my liking) but it is happening for a very big reason even if I don't happen to know what that reason is'... when we can say 'I surrender and will participate and go with this and whatever is taken from me could only be a distraction and everything's happening for my highest evolution, whether it feels good or not', then you have decided to move into the most direct means of evolution. You are saying to life 'I don't need conflict, adversity, or turmoil in order to wake up.  When you make that decision, not only do you start to awaken everyone else around you, and fast track them on their evolution, but you start to become a being that can evolve and grow in this world without having to be attacked and victimized by other peoples' unprocessed pain." ~ Matt Kahn,
Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.

These are some guided meditations I recommend:

The Ultimate Guided Meditation above with Bentinho Massaro and Peter James on guitar
Freedom Guided Meditation with Bentinho Massaro and Peter James on guitar

RECOMMENDED ROCKS

SMOKY QUARTZ = Place a smoky quartz on your desk or in your work space to protect yourself against the stress and frustration of your coworkers or clients.
ROSE QUARTZ =  Keep a rose quartz or amethyst with you. When work is stressful, hold it in your hand or rub it with your fingers. Place a rose quartz on a table or shelf in a frequently used room, such as a living room, family room, or den, to fill your home with love and harmony. Use a rose quartz for emotional healing.
BLACK OR DARK STONES = To disperse negative energy, use a black or dark stone, such as onyx, obsidian, tourmaline, jet, apache tear, smoky quartz, or hematite. These stones, when placed about a room, home, or other area, work as environmental cleansers that purify the area and protect it from negative energies.
MOONSTONE, CHRYSACOLLA, AVENTURINE, ROSE QUARTZ, AND BLUE LACE AGATE = These are all stones that help to balance emotions. You can wear them in jewelry, keep them on your person, or take a bath with them.
AQUAMARINE, AVENTURINE, MOONSTONE, RHODONITE, AND ROSE QUARTZ = These are calming stones. Lie down and place one over your heart, or bathe with them, or massage yourself with them.
AVENTURINE, BLACK TOURMALINE, BLACK ONYX, LAPIS, SODALITE, CHRYSOCOLLA, ROSE QUARTZ, CITRINE, SNOWFLAKE OBSIDIAN = To relieve stress, worry, fear, and anxiety. Use one as a "worry stone". A worry stone is a stone that you keep with you, and whenever you feel worried, stressed, or anxious, you take it out and rub it with your fingers. You can also wear it in jewelry, bathe with it, or massage with it.
AMBER, SMOKEY QUARTZ, OR CITRINE = For depression in any of the aforementioned ways.
GARNET, AMETHYST, SNOWFLAKE OBSIDIAN, OR SODALITE = To help control anger. Take it out, hold it, and rub it whenever you feel the need.

Vulnerability

What is authenticity?  I think it's being willing to take risks and admit the ugly things our egos want us to hide through denial, lack of self awareness, or fear.  I've been told by friends I'm one of the most genuine people they know but I still catch myself hiding,  holding back, and being scared to be myself out of fear of rejection, etc.  It's ingrained in us to people please since we were small.  How is a doctor supposed to make the proper diagnosis and recommendations when they don't have all the information?  How do we know our friends like us or who we're pretending to be? Why is being honest such a rare trait?  I think we have to learn to be authentic and vulnerable with who we are if we have any chance at being happy. 

Here's what I've come to believe about honesty versus dishonesty:

 

Dishonesty is a huge time waster and causes undue stress. For me, if I'm dishonest, I'll never know the truth because whatever I get was based on the false information I provided (like in the doctor scenario).  If you pretend to be someone you're not, how will you ever know someone loves you?  Talk about setting yourself up for misery.   One time I showed up at a new guy's place I'd never met in sweats, no makeup, and my hair hadn't been washed in days (I was sick and he knew that and had invited me over as is) in a deliberate attempt to see if he'd like me despite.  I could have taken a shower and dolled myself up, but ultimately figured, if he's ok with me looking like this, he'll definitely be ok with me all done up.  I like to get the hard part over with right up front so, if it doesn't work, you'll know right away.  But, if it does, it can only get better from there.  I'm not talking about telling someone every little horrible thing about your life at first glance necessarily (although I kind of do that in this website, but that's for your benefit).  I'm merely recommending to tell the truth. Let people know where you're at, what you think, and what you feel.  If you're truly vulnerable, and they meet you at that heart level back, you've got something.  And wouldn't you just love to surround yourself with others who meet you at the same level of vulnerability?  If they don't meet you there, it's better to find out sooner than later.  If you're lying, you'll always wonder when they'll figure it out.  It's stress you don't need. 

Vulnerability makes others want to open up to you. When you're totally yourself, you help others relax and feel they can be themselves with you too.  It causes a deeper connection of trust and makes for a much more interesting time.  You give them permission to embrace the totality of themselves as well.  If they don't like what you're about, you just find new friends who do till you've found your "tribe" so to speak.

It's just the ego.  That's all dishonesty is.  The ego tries to trick us to play it safe all the time, but it's really just trying to keep alive.  If we become free of the ego and essentially all that makes us overly identified as this person we are (the experience of pain) instead of the being we are beyond it, the ego has no place. How best to ensure its survival than to make you worry about how you measure up and whether or not you're approved of?  One way of combating the ego is to respect and embrace it.  It doesn't even take courage. It just takes shifting your priorities from ego-preservation to a place of embracing yourself both bad and good.  Lucky for others, it happens to work in reverse as well. Accepting yourself allows you to accept others and vice versa.

Vulnerability makes you feel alive.  Although true authenticity is enlightenment, we can get glimpses of freedom from taking these miniature free falls every day in as many ways as possible.  I always suggest clients follow every "yes" - meaning, wherever you go, whatever you do, look at what in your environment is calling to you.  It may be a bird chirping, someone wanting to connect with you, or a rainbow.  But take in that yes fully.  When you say yes back to yes, or yes says yes back to you, that's powerful and feeds the soul. It's invigorating to be vulnerable.

You can't be disappointed if you've got your own back. When someone says to me, "But you're so vulnerable. What if you get ridiculed, hurt, or betrayed?" like that would be the worst thing to happen.  Those who get disappointed or hurt by being rejected or having a friend betray you and tell all their secrets just doesn't understand the way life works.  Life is not about the shoe being about to drop and how to avoid that... it's about learning how to self-soothe and support yourself to the extent that, no matter what happens to you, you know you have your own back.  You are your own best friend.  You would see whatever happens as a good thing... not a bad thing.  Have you ever noticed some of the best memories we share when we hang out with family and friends were when mistakes were made and someone was vulnerable?  Know that everything always works out with your best interest in mind and you'll be safe from any seeming 'danger' out there.  I encourage you to listen to my podcast on positivity or try the "Thank you, God, for my misery" exercise.  How can someone ever hurt you if everything is perceived as good in your world?

Real power lies in vulnerability. The more vulnerable you are, the more powerful you are because you're free. I always tell my clients the most powerful thing they can do to protect themselves is to drop all stories and get in the moment. If a story persists, respect and embrace it completely then get back in the moment. Why? Magic happens in this place. There's an awesome quote from a wise man that says something to the effect of "When one turns his face to God, the whole world stops, turns, and begins conspiring to create miracles for you"... and it's so true.  God is in that state of presence (The Kingdom of God is within). Turn to face God and all will work out in your favor.  Trust me. I've seen it first hand time and again.  The unseen world wants nothing more than to build our faith!  Be brave, be bold, and go forth, my friends... and be a witness to this universal truth.

"Being vulnerable forces you to dive into the insecurity and bypass the ego completely.  When you don't allow the ego to do what it wants to do, you go underneath it, essentially, into the total vulnerability which is like backing up into this spaciousness which is the identity which exists beyond your self concept... your eternal self. And the eternal self can then come in and start to parent the ego self." ~ Teal Swan
"Do you know why we fight against others? Because we're afraid to die.  And only when you're willing to die do you know what it is to live.  How do you surrender?  Be willing to die... not physically, but psychologically and emotionally... let your fight die. Let your fight die or you will die fighting. And that, my friends, is the worst case scenario.  Commit that no matter how scared, inferior, insecure, lonely, and vulnerable it makes you feel, you will let your fight die." ~ Matt Kahn, The End of the Old Paradigm
Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.

RECOMMENDED ROCKS

SODALITE, SAPPHIRE, AQUAMARINE, BLUE TOPAZ, AND CHRYSOCOLLA =  All great stones for communication. Use them to bring self-confidence when public speaking, to help you to speak up for yourself, to be able to explain things in an easy to understand way, to overcome shyness, to be able to speak more clearly and freely , to be able to express yourself better emotionally, and to improve your relationships by keeping communication lines open. These stones work best when worn as a pendant that hangs close to the throat, but they can also be worn as earrings, or held, or carried in your pocket.
 

 

Attracting Your Soulmate

There comes a point in your life when you've had about as many lessons (over and over) as you can stand to bear with sexual partners before realizing you have to go deeper if you want something to last... perhaps a lifetime. I get so many questions from people who are at this point in their journey so I thought I'd share my take on finding "the one" (I don't believe we're ever really looking for 'the next'). There are basically two types of partners you can attract... those who help you learn evolutionary lessons along your path through conflict and contrast and those who join with you along the way and hold your hand encouraging you while you both learn and grow. Although it's rare, one can turn into the other.  Some people reverse these terms, but here's the gist:

Matt Kahn confused everyone in this video switching what we label the soulmate or twinflame. So, for simplicity sake, I'm going to keep it like everyone knows it... twin flame is "the one". Karmic is "the lesson". I love his advice in this video, however, so here it is.

Karmic relationships always seem to involve instant gratification, doubt, confusion, manipulation, trickery, lies, and pain.  If our great teacher, ego, is influencing your relationship, you will use these things to get what you want or they will be using these things to get what they want out of you. In some cases, your karmic even sense when you are about to find your soulmate and attempt to sabotage you subconsciously.  This is why suddenly, you'll get a rush of guys/girls asking you out all at once when you become interested in someone with long term potential. If you want the best relationship for you, it is important that you push past these karmics so the real deal can come to the forefront. Otherwise, you'll be too distracted and your heart won't be available till you realize what's going on and what you'll possibly miss out on if you continue to stay stuck in the karmic's web.

In order to see you through to success, I'd like to explain the role of the higher self so you understand how we get in the way.  Your higher self is always trying to orchestrate the most incredible sets of events in your life that will leave you in awe and wonderment.  It's lining up that perfect job, the perfect relationship, the best friends you could possibly have, and all the money you'll even need, etc. But their job depends on how well we do our job.  When we are a clear channel for divine guidance and are in the moment (not dwelling on the past or looking for fulfillment in the future), you are clearly guided as to each step you need to take to get you there.  Your only job is to stay in the moment and feel as high a vibration as possible so you attract the best possible outcomes. Joy, excitement, eager anticipation, daydreaming in such a way that you have already attained it, patient persistence, knowing, and faith bring these things through to manifest in your life. Thinking, worry, doubt, and all the ego's tricks we talked about slow down or hault those things from coming altogether. It is highly advantageous to continuously "Let go and let God". Remember, when things don't work out with someone you had hopes in, that your higher self has someone perfect coming so it has to weed those people out. Don't take it as a disappointment, take it as encouragement that you're one candidate (experience you learned from ) closer to what God has in store for you.

Twin flames are like a divine reward.  As the American writer Richard Bach said, “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are.” These may feel a little slower than you'd like or are used to at first because it feels like there's a lot at stake and both of you don't want to make a wrong step.  It may even sneak up on you and blindside you. Often times there is an age difference and/or they may not be your "type", but don't go by your typical list of what you look for in someone... this person is in a league all their own.  It can be a practice in patience initially, but there's also a sense of clarity and a knowing that this interest could be worth the wait. There's a certain respect to taking your time and faith in this trusting of divine timing listening to the prompting of your heart and intuition as intimacy naturally deepens between you almost as if you didn't have a thing to do with it.  In the process of such a relationship blossoming, you are encouraged by the universe to continuously come back to the moment and ripen to the potential through a maturation process.  Many people, when they do meet their twin flame, feel a strong gravitational pull towards them. Listen to your intuition on this because you don't want to try to force it to happen (you may be twins, but each of you ultimately has free will) yet you do want to be sure to respond willingly when you're prompted by the universe to take action even if it's terribly uncomfortable. Once you've reached a certain level of comfort, it will just start to flow and be easier than relationships of the past. It's easier to understand each other, "get" where the other person is coming from, forgive, and compromise. There's not so much power struggle, but a team effort toward you both being happy separately as well as together. There also could be an automatic trust and comfort that unfolds naturally unlike you've had before.  Partially, this is due to you having many past lifetimes together (familiarity, comfort).

So, why are we drawn to the karmics?  Well, let's face it, if karmics weren't so enticing, why would we go through a karmic relationship knowing full well there will be pain involved? We're usually more drawn to them when we are thinking something outside of us is going to make us happy (see my podcast on addictions to learn more) instead of going within and loving yourself then allowing this other person to be a compliment to your life rather than having lofty expectations they're bound to fall short of leaving you disappointed. If you are seeking, you are probably going to pull in a karmic so you can have a lesson that points you back to learning to love yourself. If you are happy being as you are, you're likely to attract your twin flame. If you fluctuate between looking and loving yourself, you'll probably attract both to you so you have to be wise and discerning. Just as a fire that starts fast and fierce so too burns out quickly, so does any relationship that is too passionate too fast (even friendships). Take your time... it'll be worth it.

What's the purpose?  I've often thought having a significant other like this was somewhat of a distraction from enlightenment and felt weak for caving in and getting back into another relationship when I felt my priority needed to be my spirituality.  A part of me felt bad for even desiring a relationship. But I've learned the karmic relationship has a grand purpose far greater than mere relationships.  They are against all logic.  They are against all odds.  They are renegades.  They inspire those who see them, hear about them, and watch them come together and flourish.  They inspire romantic comedies just like Christmas movies make us cry and inspire us to have faith and hope again.  They lift up the vibration of this planet and are incredibly healing not only to those individuals lucky enough to unite, but for the family, friends, general public, and the collective as a whole. A twin flame environment is also the most conducive to achieving enlightenment if you think about it.  In fact, if you strive to awaken before uniting, so will they (because you are psychically connected) and, then, when you come together, you can awaken to an even deeper level together remembering to keep your eye on heaven always above your relationship (ie. stay present and don't get caught up in the dramas of life). True love and being present make you feel safe, secure, and loved. You can allow yourself to sink into this partnership and experience true freedom only this kind of love provides. 

How to gain clarification as you go?  These are some tools to use to help you decipher whether this is a karmic or twin flame and when or how to take loving action:

INTUITION:  Your intuition is your best guide. When you're aligned with your natural guidance and intuition, you will feel prompted to take loving action (without a big built up story of how you'll do it or how they'll respond), because it's coming from pure divine prompting without expectation. You may not know why you're prompted but you listen because you know this guidance comes to you for your best and highest good. If you're accustomed to listening to your intuition, you've probably already experienced miracles happening as a result of this blind following of the promptings. This means casting your fears and ego aside and just doing what feels right and true to you deep down.

TALK TO HIS/HER HIGHER SELF:  If you have an idea who this could be, send them blessings and see what you get back.  It's like a ping in computer terms.  You'd be surprised what you get.  If this is your twin, you'll start to receive information or reciprocation from them. You may even start to feel things they feel, or sense when they're thinking of you.  Some have even reported heart palpitations, tingling, intuitive hits/flashes, or feeling incredibly turned on out of nowhere for no reason.  If you do energy work, you may start to see their energy field overlay with yours... sort of a merging of your energy fields. 

PRAYER:  A couple examples of prayers to try are "I accept that I can't tell who's a twin flame and who's a soul mate right now so I call up on the light of the universe to please make it very clear to me which is which so I will not doubt which direction calls me on my behalf and for the benefit of all. That I am now. So be it." or"I accept that I don't know how to make this thing happen so I call up on the light of the universe to please step in on my behalf and bring us together on our behalf and for the betterment of all. That I am now. So be it."

DREAMS: You can also ask Archangel Michael, upon going to bed at night, to remove subconscious blocks and give you guidance in your sleep.  He's excellent at helping clarify. Ask about a specific person and for the truth to be shown.  You can also get a dream book on relationships to help decipher, but the general gist is that, if you feel good in the dream, it's a good sign.  Working on a project together rather than merely being passionate, is a sign of long term potential.  Even loving or marrying a family member is a good sign 'cause it indicates this person feels like family.  It's all about how the dream makes you feel.

MEDITATION:  I do qigong every morning then sit quietly for about 5 minutes just asking if there's anything they (my divine guidance system) would like to tell me about today.  Then I wait for images, feelings, or promptings to arise.  You could ask specifics as well.

PENDULUMS: When looking for a pendulum, hold it out in front of your heart and ask what it's 'yes' looks like then ask what it's 'no' looks like (without influencing it).  Then ask if the pendulum likes you. If the pendulum responds well to you, you can use this pendulum every time you need to clarify anything you couldn't quite decode in your meditation or in a sign that comes to you.   There are some great Youtube videos on how to use a pendulum, but this is my favorite set of videos.

CRYSTAL GRIDS: A crystal grid is essentially a prayer request in the form of rocks or crystals. Combining feng shui, you can set up a crystal grid in the love area of your room.  This video I've attached shows one type of love grid, but, you can lay your rocks and gems out any way you'd like.  It's really just about your intention and using things that symbolize what's important to you in a relationship.  And, before creating any grid that involves others, make sure you state that you create this grid according to your and the other person's highest good and within their free will preferences. This way you are not intruding on anyone's free will. This is a very important law of the universe I encourage everyone to follow. I do not even send healing energy to anyone unless they've given me permission first.

ORACLE CARDS: After qigong and my 5 minute meditation, I ask if there are some cards I should pull to give me guidance for the day.  If I have a love interest, I may pull Doreen Virtue's Romance Cards in addition to my other cards, but only when, after I ask this, I see the front cover of the card deck come to my mind's eye.  I run a variety of different card covers through my mind and see if they stick when I go to take them away.  Those that stick, I gather in front of me.  Then I ask how many cards I should select each time I open a deck.  It's usually between 1-3. I keep a diary of the cards I pull so I can go back and see which cards I pulled that morning and see the set of events that unfolded... a real faith booster!

I hope these tips help. If you feel angst in regards to ensuring you find that right person for you, be sure to watch Matt Kahn's video above, click on the links throughout this article, and, above all else, AWAKEN.  Awakening is always the quickest ways to your own personal heaven on Earth. The video and links go into much greater detail than I have here, but the big take away is to love yourself, go forth in the name of love when prompted, then let go and let God and watch the magic happen. Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.

See also this article in The Huffington Post "The 10 Elements of a Soulmate".

RECOMMENDED ROCKS
TO ATTRACT LASTING LOVE

APOPHYLLITE WITH STILLBITE CLUSTER = Attracts and finds a life-long mate.

ROSE QUARTZ = Invites love into your life.  It opens your heart to receive love and gently reminds you that you are worthy of love. Wear this stone or keep it by your bedside to remind you that love is coming your way.

MALACHITE = The beautiful green swirls in this stone help to usher away hurtful memories.  Malachite works quickly and diligently to clear away painful heartache and make way for new love.  Try sleeping with this stone on your heart chakra.  Alternately, you can wear the stone as a pendant over your heart or you can sleep it with it under the pillow. 

RHODOCROSITE = The lovely marbling of pinks and whites in this stone helps us to unite the different aspects of our personality so that we can learn to truly love ourselves.  The only way to bring true, authentic love into your life is to love yourself first.  Rhodocrosite helps you to appreciate yourself as it teaches that you are worthy of love, health and happiness.

RHODONITE = The pinks and blacks in this stone remind us that affairs of the heart are often painful.  Rhodonite is the Stone of Forgiveness and it will help you to let go of any pain from a past relationship with an attitude of love and forgiveness as it gently cleanses your aura of hurt, anger, regret and bitterness.

GREEN AVENTURINE = Known as the Stone of Love and Luck, carrying this stone with you will increase your confidence and your luck at attracting new love into your life.  It'll bring you that first date as well as luck with how it goes. It’s also known as a Stone of Abundance, so keep one in your wallet to ensure new financial resources too!

APACHE TEAR = This form of Obsidian is known to absorb depression, grief and negativity.  Legends say that as the Apache women and children watched their men die in battle to save their land and way of life, they cried rivers of tears.  These tears hardened into these Obsidian stones which we call Apache Tears.  The legend says that whoever holds an Apache Tear will never grieve again.  Carry this stone with you to help absorb any sadness you may be carrying in your heart.

CITRINE = This joyful, sunny stone is known as the Stone of Success.  It will help make you feel more empowered, confident and sure of yourself.  Carry this stone or wear it as jewelry to enhance your self-esteem, confidence and joy.

 

How to Boost Your Faith

Faith means complete trust or confidence in someone or something or strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual understanding rather than proof.  In my line of work, it’s absolutely essential to have faith.  I feel I live more in my imagination than I do in the world of form (what we can physically see and touch).  I have learned through the years that faith alone makes all the difference in your ability to be happy and healthy in all areas of your life because we learn to live by divine guidance alone (which is always for our best possible good – so much more so than our meager egos will attempt to provide).  If you have doubt in any area that things aren’t going well or good enough, you cause dis-ease emotionally first then physically.  So, I wanted to give some ideas on how you can boost your faith in the unseen world and become a power house!

 

  1. Keep a list of your prayer requests in your iphone in your notes (or wherever you choose that’s convenient 24-7).  List the request then write down the time, date, and way the request was fulfilled.  There will be prayers that weren’t answered because you can’t go against other peoples free will, some prayers aren’t meant to be answered for your own good, and some get answered in strange ways that don’t look like what you were asking for but go you to the end result nontheless.  Keeping this list will help boost your faith.
  2. Keep a journal of random surprises, miracles, and synchronicities.  For the same reason, this will help you follow your divine guidance more clearly.  You can even start to follow the synchronistic signs like you’re figuring out a mystery.  Add your intuition to it and your life becomes magical.  Instead of being steered by logic, you’ll stop and ask your higher self, “Should I?” or have epiphanies, “Oh!  This is why I’ve been getting messages of changes to come.  I know just what I need to do ’cause this other card (tarot or oracle cards are great) I’ve been pulling says to take action without delay.”
  3. Practice with energy and psychic work.  Learn about energy and intuitive work and practice on others.  There are tons of videos on Youtube.  I highly recommend Teal Swan’s videos.  She’s fantastic.  Ask friends and relatives to let you practice “guessing” things about their lives.  Practice answering yes or no intuitively instead of from logic.  Practice all the time.  At first you’ll get things wrong, but eventually you navigate and sense your way through to trusting the visions, feelings, urges, and answers that come to you. If you want, write those down to!  If it’s profound enough, get a testimonial from them.  Gathering testimonials helps boost your faith a lot.
  4. Read my articleIts All Just Energy” and do the “Thank you, God, for my Misery” exercise!  After doing this exercise a few times and going back to it whenever you need it will boost your faith considerably in how supported and loved you are in everything that’s going on around you.  Believe it or not, it’s all perfect!  And it’s all bringing you to your highest and best life if you’ll just see it as so.

These will give you some ways to get started.  If you have any other ideas, please list them in the comments below.  We all have wonderful wisdom to share.  I’m here to support you if needed as well. Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.

RECOMMENDED ROCKS
FOR BOOSTING FAITH

TOPAZ = an excellent crystal for boosting faith and invigorating one’s spiritual development. It cuts through uncertainty and doubt and instigates a sound trust in the universe. Topaz carries a marvelous energy for tapping into higher realms of awareness in order to channel Divine wisdom and knowledge, and for connecting with one’s spirit guides, angels, loved ones and Ascended Masters. It is ideal for recognizing the signs and symbols one is sent to help with daily life
LAPIS LAZULI = a powerful crystal of deep truth and understanding. CounteractS the wiles of the spirits of darkness and procure the aid and favor of the spirits of light and wisdom. It is a powerful crystal for activating the higher mind and enhancing intellectual ability. It stimulates the desire for knowledge, truth and understanding, and aids the process of learning. A stone of truth, Lapis encourages honesty of the spirit, and in the spoken and written word. It provides an awareness of one's motivations and beliefs, and gives a clearer perspective of one's whole life. It reveals not only one's limitations, but the opportunities for growth and to utilize one's gifts and abilities.
BLUE APATITE = Clears away confusion, apathy or negativity, then, stimulates the intellect to expand knowledge and truth, which may be used for personal growth or for the collective good. It is a Stone of Manifestation, promoting a humanitarian outlook and service to others. Blue Apatite is a deeply spiritual stone with a cleansing influence on the aura, especially in the mental body. It has an uplifting energy that raises spirits, encouraging a positive outlook and a hopeful attitude. Blue Apatite expands the awareness of past-life experiences and may enhance the understanding of any karmic influences on one's current reality.
EMERALD = These gemstones in the bible represent purest faith, the glories of God and His saints, a flourishing life which grows in integrity, new life, and an increased prosperity. It is open to every good, which knows never to give up. It is the work of Godliness. Those who posses an emerald will be aided in staying steadfast in purpose and faith.
LABRADORITE = enhances perseverance and strength and assists in spiritual healing and staying spiritually strong in the face of adversity.  Lifts one's mood, reducing insecurities and fears while encouraging self-empowerment and independence. Faith and trust in oneself as well as the universe are enhanced with the use of labradorite.
IMPERIAL GOLDEN TOPAZ = Embraces the nobility of spirit, status, personal will and ability to manifest one’s desires.  Increases the ability to direct one’s own energy or Universal energy into form. It is a stone of creativity and intention, generating abundance within the context of what is appropriate for one’s highest path. Used respectfully, it is an excellent crystal for conscious attunement to the highest forces in the universe. Like a battery, it can recharge one spiritually and physically, boosting faith and optimism, and increasing one’s confidence, self-worth and pride in one’s abilities without inflating the ego. This stone is beneficial to those seeking fame or overcoming limitations in order to implement great plans as it increases one’s charisma and attracts helpful people, while inspiring one to remain generous and open-hearted. It is an excellent crystal for meditation and connecting to the Divine, Ascended Masters, and Archangels.

Why You Must Love Yourself

Think you love yourself?  Think again.  I used to get so frustrated when someone would talk to me about loving myself. I would say, “I DO love myself!”… I’d enjoy myself, I’d go on dates, I’d have fun, I’d do all my favorite things, buy my favorite things, I’d laugh. I’d wonder what more I could do?

Here are some indicators I learned that showed me I may not be as close to loving myself as I thought (and why):

If You Judge Others
If you are judging others, it means you are actually judging yourself for judging them. And that’s because you know, if you were that way (a liar, a cheater, etc.), you wouldn’t believe you are worthy of love (by God or anyone else) so how do these people get off?  The truth is we are loved no matter what by God and the entire universe as we stumble around and discover who we truly are.  They’re setting the example!  But what we tend to do is think we need to be perfect and we squelch those characteristics in ourselves or hide them from others as best we can.   Judging someone for the same behavior we run away from in ourselves only perpetuates that behavior and keeps it in our lives in a way that makes it manifest in very weird ways we can’t control… blurting out things inappropriately, losing our temper out of nowhere, crying for no reason, etc. So what can you do?  When you find yourself judging someone, talk to yourself (in your mind) and assure YOU that you love yourself despite you judging that other person. Then, if you want to make real progress, you also look at that person and respect the power of what they’re saying (not the behavior, but the power of it… how it makes you react, grips your heart, makes you want to run, etc.). When you stop and face it in this way, it’s like you dissipate the behavior itself and absorb the power back into yourself instead of giving your own power away to them by allowing them to cause you to react or act out against them (or have a bad day following). Life is all about presenting you with these opportunities for self healing. You’ll keep experiencing these things you judge till you finally love yourself enough to inadvertently love them too (in that order).  Try this exercise and see for yourself.  It works!

If you have something happen and end up talking about it with everyone you know for awhile
This means you’re lacking confidence in your own decision making and are looking for validation from others.  It also means you’re still addicted to drama.  When you love yourself, you learn to drop the drama and get back to what’s important in life… being your true authentic self… the beingness… the aliveness in your body in this moment not worrying about the future or dwelling on the past.  Letting go of the future and past and remaining here in the stillness of your true self is the most powerful way to show the universe (and your higher self) that you trust it completely, have faith in your spirit guides and angels bringing out the best possible outcome, and you allow the real magic and power to happen in your life.  You learn to go within for your answers and accept any consequences that result having the best possible attitude (self talk) about those consequences as always being a gift (see also my article “It’s All Just Energy“). Of course, if you do need to ask for advice on things periodically, just have the attitude that you’re still in the process of building confidence and will just need some “spotting” from time to time… that you’re just fine being just how you are right now!  This will help cultivate your intuition (our direct guidance from God and his angels once we quiet our minds enough to receive).  Ask yourself what you get intuitively about a subject THEN ask what someone else gets (then also see what ultimately happens).  You can develop confidence in your guidance this way (by checking in yourself first).

If someone compliments you and you get embarrassed, minimize it, or wonder what their motive is
If someone compliments you, take it!  If they insult you, don’t take it.  Why?  Because you decide what you believe and how you take it.  Don’t listen to criticism unless you can do so in a purely objective way.  If you have a strong love for yourself, you take compliments well and don’t get off kilter if someone doesn’t like something about you… or all of you.  In fact, if your self talk in your mind is so loving and accepting you’re your own best friend, you’ll wonder what’s wrong with anyone who disapproves… and get away from them.  It’d be like looking at a toxic spill pondering whether you’d like to go play in it.  No!  Get the heck away from toxicity of any form! You don’t have time for that.  Just move on to better, more uplifting friends and environments!

If you go on a date with a cute guy, he (sincerely) acts nuts about you, and you wonder what’s wrong with him
This is why it’s so important we love ourselves before we find the right guy.  You don’t want to end up pushing him away every time he compliments you, is faithful to you, shows you public displays of affection, looks you in the eyes and tells you how madly in love he is.  If you don’t think a man could pour it on thick and you’d be able to handle it, you’ve got to cultivate more love for yourself until the voice in your head sounds just like his!  Assure yourself of how beautiful, talented, unique, special, and amazing you are every second, every minute all day long.  We really don’t encourage this in our society, but it’s crucial.  And, no, it’s not conceited or selfish.  In fact, the more we truly (and sincerely) love ourselves, the more loving we are to others. That’s the truth.

If you can’t look in the mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and say “I love you”
Obviously, if you can’t do this, you haven’t reached this level of intimacy with yourself and it’ll be hard to do the same with someone else.  Sometimes we think, if we just love this other person enough, it’ll make up for the lack of love I have for myself, but it doesn’t work that way.  You’ll end up in a dysfunctional mess of projection and more self defeating behavior trying to gain someone else’s love when it’s really your love you’re actually striving for without realizing.  Practice saying I love you to yourself (and meaning it) as often as you can.  Make funny faces at yourself, smile lovingly, wink, whatever, but let it be loving and unconditionally accepting.  If someone was just critical of you, run to a mirror and tell yourself what YOU think of what they said (“You’re so sweet… I don’t care what anyone says… you’re aces in my book.  You’ve got such a big heart so don’t be fooled by their projections.  I’ll cut you slack even if they won’t. You can do no wrong as far as I’m concerned. I love you no matter what. You can try to be awful, but I’ll just see through it and tell you the truth.”)

If you’re staying in an obviously unhealthy relationship, you wouldn’t advise your best friend to stay in if your rolls were reversed, because you want it to get better fixating on the parts that are great
This is a very common one and that’s ok.  If you’re in this position right now, that’s ok.  It’s all ok.  You’re there for a reason, though, and that’s what you’re after… that’s the gem.  Life isn’t about whether or not your marriage will last, whether your kids make it to college, or whether you are going to ‘make it’ in the world. If you’re so enthralled in your relationship that you will accept ill treatment, you just don’t love yourself enough and you’re focusing on meaningless pursuits (worldly gain).  This is a good indicator that you need to get back to who/what you truly are, get back in the moment, and trust the guidance given you from the “Kingdom of God within” (the stillness in you).  Learn to trust that.  It is your greatest protection.  If you’re struggling with whether to stay or not, and there’s verbal or physical anguish, you’re there to learn a lesson and move on.  When you do so, you will be loving yourself and opening yourself up to someone else in the future who actually love themselves, too, so you can have a healthy relationship that thrives and nourishes you in meaningful ways.

If someone offers you a raise and you insist someone else is better for the job or wonder why they chose you
If someone deems you worthy of a raise, there’s a reason.  And, if you can’t see that reason, trust them and search to find it.  Start making a list of why you are valuable in all areas of your life.  What are you naturally talented at?  Where do you feel you exhibit loving tendencies?  How do you take care of yourself on a daily basis?  What obstacles have you overcome?  Keep a notepad on you and keep a running list browsing through this list from time to time during breaks throughout your day.  Keep a running commentary of how lovely you are as you go about your day.  Notice when you do something sweet, funny, charming, or kind.  Give yourself encouragement like you would a friend.

Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.

RECOMMENDED ROCKS
FOR LOVE

ROSE QUARTZ = inner peace, love for one's self, sensitivity, compassion, puts you in a state of mind that allows you to receive love. If you are suffering from lost or unrequited love it will help to comfort you; if you have been betrayed in love it will help bring back faith and trust, as well as a sense of self-worth and self-esteem; if you have simply never been in love, it will open up all the possibilities of falling in love.
rose quartz + chrysocolla is used to calm a volatile or rocky relationship.
rose quartz + watermelon tourmaline is used for overcoming nerves or fear related to love.
rose quartz with chrysoprase is believed to be useful in overcoming jealousy.

MOONSTONE = cultivates passion, romance, sexual energy
moonstone + rhodonite = help bury old feelings and memories of past affairs

KUNZITE = romance and marriage. reduce stress and depression. It is often used by those suffering from a wounded heart

LAPIZ LAZULI = overcome shyness and timidity, bringing inner harmony and increasing your spiritual levels, whilst helping to win over the affection of others. It is also thought to enhance fidelity within marriage.
RHODONITE = is a stone of self love. Also known as a "rescue stone", rhondonite is believed to ease away love scars and bring on forgiveness in others.
SAPPHIRE = is the stone often used as a pledge of love, and sometimes known as the gem of new love. Encourages trust and commitment and is often used when loved ones are apart for long periods of time, gifted as a sign of commitment. Sapphire helps to create mental clarity, and also assists in finding new love, helping to build that initial bond and harmony.
JADE = can attract and enhance love of all kinds. It is also a stone of fidelity and generosity. It is also considered to be good for the physical heart and for emotional balance and stability.
AZURITE, CHRYSOCOLLA, AQUAMARINE, RUBY, MOONSTONE, OR ROSE QUARTZ = increase your self-confidence and feelings of self-worth
HEMATITE OR ROSE QUARTZ = To Raise your self-esteem
MOONSTONE, ROSE QUARTZ, OR PINK KUNZITE = To improve your self-image
ROSE QUARTZ, RHODOCHROSITE, OR PINK KUNZITE =  To Learn to love yourself

How Best to Manifest

I often encourage people to become a vibrational match now to whatever they’re trying to attract… to live now as if whatever you want has already happened.  But this can be easier said than done.  You translate your circumstances as being either confirmation of your future turning out as you want or confirmation that you’re never going to get it no matter how hard you try.  But just as seeds need time to break through the soil to reach to the sun and, even once it’s broken the surface, it needs time to grow, we also need to give our dreams time.  Nature is often our greatest teacher because it is a true reflection of us only without the ego’s interference as I demonstrate here:

1) Stay in the now – The seed, while in the dirt, isn’t obsessed with breaking the surface.  Its just feeling the support of being alive and surrounded by protective, nurturing dirt and basks in how good it feels to be alive having had a little water and fertilizer.  In a sense, it yawns and stretches at this early morning stage, takes a look around, and says, “Hmmm. What now?”

2) Reach for what feels good – Then, as something starts to grow within , it’s in awe and wonder at how this feeling of being is now transforming into something that is reaching and transforming.  It feels warmth above and cool below so it reaches for the warmth… the warmth makes it feel good.  It thinks, “Ah, yes, that feels good.  Go there.” so it does.  It isn’t trying to figure out exactly what it is, what it will become, or how it would get there.  It isn’t thinking, “What if I don’t get watered anymore?”  or “What if the sun stops shining?”.  It doesn’t wonder whether it’s growing right.  It just keeps reaching for what feels good.

3) Create a relationship with source and ignore obstacles – Once the seedling breaks the soil, it feels like a miracle.  The warmth is fully realized and feels incredible!  But then it gets introduced to cold and wind… something it had been protected from hiding in the dirt.  What does it do?  Stays focused on what feels good.  It smiles at the sun and the sun smiles back and they develop a relationship.  It develops it’s muscle in trusting keeping its focus on what feels good and ignoring what threatens as best it can.  What results?  It becomes strong.  It leans into what feels good and it’s roots grow stronger.  Sunflowers, for example, even turn to face the sun to maximize exposure.  The lavender in my window leans to reach for sun as you can see here.

4)  Don’t compare – Once the seed has become a plant, it doesn’t look around and say, “I don’t understand why I only get 2 hours of sun and those other plants gets 5 hours… it’s not fair!” or “Why does that flower already have blooms and I don’t yet?”.  It just continues to focus on it’s source and keeps reaching.  If anything, it would see that blooming flower next to it and say, “Oh, THAT’s what I am!  Oh, ok.  I get it.” and will start mimicking it as best it can.  How would it know its blooms are a different color since it can’t see itself?  When it blooms, it can feel the blooms and assumes it looks just like the other and radiates its beauty.

This mix of staying focused on our source and reaching is the magical combo nature has already designed for us to follow.  Being grateful for what we have now isn’t a judgement that we should be grateful for what we have now.  It’s so we can cultivate the same feeling now as the feelings we’ll have once we’ve gotten what we want.  Why?  So we’re used to that feeling… inviting it in (we don’t push it away saying we don’t deserve it… it feels normal to feel that way to us) instead of pushing it away…  So we’re of the same frequency to it so it resonates with us…  So we train ourselves to be happy now in the now instead of always feeling like we need something outside of ourselves to make us happy because we’ll end up taking that feeling of discontentment into our next level and the next and the next.  Pretty soon, we find ourselves rich, married, and with everything we’ve dreamed of… and still unsatisfied.  The point is learning to love being here – just you and the sun smiling at one another and seeing what pops up as a result!

How do I visualize if I’m not sure what I want?

It doesn’t matter what you’re visualizing… just stay focused on how good it feels.  You can like a different person or a different dream every day so long as it makes your heart soar.  When someone flirts with you, instead of running with what it might mean, how you could manipulate your way to the end result you’re imagining, and trying to figure out how best to make that end result happen, just smile and say, “Thank you… more please”, bask in the warmth, and feel thankful.  That’s it.  Then go home and visualize a new life with that person and how wonderful it would be, but don’t try to plan and plot.  It’s the planning and plotting that’s unnatural.  Just accept it as already having happened and feel grateful.  Then, the next day, when another person flirts that you enjoy, say, “Thank you… more please”, bask in the warmth, feel thankful, then know it is yours too.  No figuring anything out.  You know the sun will continue to shine and that you’re becoming stronger against the wind, rain, and cold.  And you’re becoming more vibrant and beautiful all the time giving off your beautiful lavender scent or making people smile with your bright yellow petals facing the sun!  Be Still and know “I am God” like the flower doesn’t know the difference between itself and its source… it feels one with it and just expresses itself.  So are you a creator in God’s likeness creating a beautiful essence and fragrance of love, trust, faith, vulnerability and surrender attracting things of like essence.

Visualization on Steroids

If you want to take your visualization a step further, you can start to ignore your current circumstances more and make your visualizations or daydreams more real to you than what’s actually physically around you.  Everywhere you go, act as if you have that million dollars, feel as if it’s already yours, feel as if you’re already married and are driving home to your husband… in everything you do, be what you are in the future and bask in that.  Pretty soon, you’ll feel like you’re living in a fantasy world, but, essentially, you are pulling forth that fantasy through your present seeming reality.  It keeps you encouraged which keeps your vibration high.  Then you start to see evidence of this fantasy manifesting in reality and say, “Wow!  Look there!  I just manifested that!” more and more till it’s actually fully realized.

Become the giver and the receiver of Your Manifestation

It is powerful to realize you are one with source and this is amplified by also playing the receiver.  Try a prayer like this, “I accept I don’t know how to make my dreams come true so I call upon the divine light to work through me, on my behalf, to make this happen so I don’t have to strive to make it work.  So be it.  Thank you.”  Try this every time you try to control your way to an outcome and you’ll be set.

Some words in this Abraham-Hicks video accentuate this article beautifully. I hope these suggestions help you create your dream life! Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.

RECOMMENDED ROCKS
FOR MANIFESTATION

CITRINE + PYRITE = These two are often used together to create powerful manifestation. Pyrite is very grounding and protective as well as being a great tool for manifestation.  They both (together or separately) draw happiness, creativity, and power to those who use it with intention.  Citrine is especially used to manifest abundance and money.  Hold one piece in each hand during meditation and you can also choose a particular affirmation or visualization to focus upon. Citrine has been called the "merchant stone."   It assists in both acquiring and maintaining wealth.
ROSE QUARTZ = Assists natural power and ability to create, focuses your attention on prosperity and abundance, helps attracts abundance of all kinds, promotes lighter, happier attitudes, reminds you to act on your dreams with trust, reminds you that there is always more coming, and assists in erasing "I can't do it" thoughts and feelings.

RED GARNET = A stone that brings productivity along with the characteristics of happiness and abundance.  Garnets can bring prosperity in your career. Particularly good for women for business or career success. 

FLUORITE = Innovative and inventive, it is a highly effective “brain” stone, allowing you to use your creativity to build wealth. Particularly good for women in career combined with Garnet. 

CARNELIAN = brings Action and Motivation. It is the most powerful "Call - to-Action" stone for focusing, realization and self-actualization of dreams and goals.   Like Moss Agate, it stimulates analytical capabilities and precision, and also helps to revel your hidden or latent talents by stimulating your curiosity and inquisitiveness. 

JADE = Has been considered an Abundance stone for centuries. 

BLACK JADE = Helps us to control our greed or need for control by instilling wisdom in the use of personal power.

BLOODSTONE = Inspires harmony through prosperity consciousness and a willingness for abundance.  Instills the courage to follow your dreams. 

RUBY = The energy here stimulates wealth and provides protection so that your wealth never departs.

TOPAZ = Known as the stone of "love and success in all endeavors" accomplished by releasing doubts and trusting in the universe.  Topaz opens the door to unlimited opportunities by helping you to understand the cycle of giving and receiving.   You attract prosperity and abundance with this stone and then manifest it.

TIGER EYE = Is here to stimulate wealth and prosperity and once gained help you retain it. As a power stone Tiger Eye has a wonderful reputation for attracting people that can help you in your career or goals, wealth, money & luck.  A grounding stone that guides you in creating the stability needed to maintain your wealth.

GREEN TOURMALINE = Channels and uses personal energy for the accomplishment of goals, especially in the area of creativity and prosperity.

OPAL = Promotes the ability to both earn and retain money.

PYROMORPHITE = This stone brings a freshness in attitude as it stimulates your personal power. It attracts money or energy in the form of goods.

IOLITE = With all the money you will be attracting you may not need this stone.  Iolite works well in the elimination of debt.

MOSS AGATE = Strength and beauty in all you do comes with this stone that also has been known to attract prosperity and riches into your life.

AMETHYST = Helps your business affairs prosper, and encourages the spiritual side of your life, where you begin to share your abundance, success and opportunity with others.
PERIDOT = Is the Money Stone.  Wear it to draw money and opportunity your way.  Put Peridot in your cash box along with Citrine. Peridot will help to draw money to you, and Citrine will help to keep it once you get it!  Stimulates opportunity, improves your leadership skills and helps you respond to challenges on an instinctive level - allowing you to make quick, confident decisions.  Wonderful motivation - action stone for entrepreneurs and the self employed who have that pioneering -  "Go get 'emSpirit!".  Aventurine is a Luck and Chance stone, drawing Universal forces to turn the tie in your favor. 
 
 

 

My Magical Journey to Boulder

It all started with a moldavite… a textured transparent meteorite from 14 million years ago.  If you don’t know anything about moldavites, they are synonymous with speeding up change in your life for the better.  Be careful when you buy one because life will become quite accelerated as you’ll see!  After only having the moldavite in my posession for 1 hour, an intuitive Naturopath friend called and told me, “I hate to tell you this, but I think you’re moving somewhere COLD.  I see mountains and snow.”  This was the fourth time I’d heard I’d be moving in the prior six months so I took note.  She knew I was SO happy finally being in Granbury after having lived in cold places for many years.  But I knew instantly where this place was and why I was going.  It was Boulder, Colorado.  The reason?  If you were to ask me what the most exciting thing I could possibly think of doing (at this time), I would tell you it would be to be a Facilitator for Bentinho Massaro.  Afterall, I have pretty much already been teaching his teachings to my clients for some time with great results.

It was like a line of dominoes had been tipped over to start a chain reaction of the most amazing synchronistic events you could ever imagine.  I got more confirmation on this than I’ve ever gotten on anything else in my life.  It was like going into the wardrobe in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.  It was so exciting, I had a number of friends calling frequently to see what the latest signs were… and I was jotting it all down as I went.  It was all happening so fast, however, a day would feel like a week and I’d barely be able to remember all that happened!

The Summary of larger events (listing the smaller signs would be too long for this post):

Talked to Ryan Brown, Bentinho’s current and only official Facilitator, before all this happened.  As things were unfolding, I kept him apprised.  He agreed to share my resume with Bentinho after hearing what had been going on.  I also had spoken with Ayla (although not telling her the whole story) and she had also agreed to share my information with Bentinho.  Another of his dedicated volunteers also said she’d like to get me involved at least at a volunteer level if nothing else for now.

Me and Bentinho in my backyard in Boulder

Me and Bentinho in my backyard in Boulder

Bentinho’s higher self
(he would say “my representation of him”) was coming to me much like a spirit.  He taught and trained me, made me laugh, made fun of me, and helped me to let go of any attachments before my move.  He stood in my kitchen and asked if I was ready to let go of my ex husband. I answered, “Well, I’ll always love him, but yes”.

That night, I was intuitively prompted to take a red jasper and black tourmaline to bed with me.  I was a little curious because the red jasper is for physical protection and the black tourmaline is for negativity.  I wondered why on Earth I would need that in my sleep?  Sure enough, in the wee hours of the morning, my cat, Neo, bit my face!  We had an ongoing issue with his wanting outside.  Since my neighbors hated cats, and for numerous other reasons, I wouldn’t let him out unless I had him on a leash.  I told him I was planning on building him a cat enclosure someday when I have a house again, but he wanted freedom to run and play in the grass freely.  I felt terrible for him.  So, after the bite, I just started crying on my bed.  Bentinho flopped on the bed beside me and asked what happened.  I told him, “Neo bit me!” Then he asked if I wanted to know what this was really about.  Bracing myself, I said, “yes”.  He said, “You’re holding him against his will.  Animals have free will too.”  The hardest 3 days ensued attempting to come to peace with getting rid of him.  I loved him SO much!  It took about a month to find him a place, but I was able to find the most perfect home I could have ever imagined.  I’m was happy for him and his new parents.  They adored him!  I realized later, too, that Neo was a link to my ex husband… he was like our kid.  Let go #1.

After a few days of me mourning the loss of Neo, a past boyfriend, Morris, who died a couple years after we broke up, at the age of 27 (we were about 12 years apart in age), was channeled through the above referenced friend while we were going to create a video for her Youtube channel.  He first confirmed some private, confidential information that was just between my ex husband and I.  I was astonished at the accuracy.  It was his personality, his humor, and exactly what he’d say.  Then he confirmed some private information about our own relationship and explained why things happened the way they did.  We had a great, healing talk.  Then he proceeded to tell me some things about my ex husband that allowed me to completely let go of any remnants of attachment that remained.  "Mo" also assured me he was going to help me meet a guy in Boulder who would be worthy of me.  The thing you don’ t know is Morris is the guy I was dating before I decided to start dating my ex husband, Nate.  At the time, when he was alive, he thought my ex had more to offer me so he let me go regretting it terribly and never did tell me he loved me (this has also been confirmed from a dear friend who heard him telling this story in a bar – not realizing at the time I was the Amy he was pining over or he’d have done something about it).  It was beautiful justice that he was the one who ultimately helped me let “the man who took me away” go and could be my hero helping me start anew.  This was Morris’s opportunity to show his love after all these years and be there for me in the most romantic way you could ever imagine (he figured out a way to send me amazing messages and answers to questions I’d ask him through my friends – kinda like Sam did in “Ghost” singing “99 Bottles of Beer”).   He now serves as a guardian angel watching over me whenever I drive since he died in a car accident.  Ex hubby – Let go #2.

My neighbor started to have an issue with me making too much noise after three months of living there and never having had this come up.  He said he could hear my cat running up and down the hallway (Neo was quite a character!).  My apartment I deemed as “perfect” was starting to not feel like the safe situation I thought it was anymore.  My grip on it was loosening the more the guy banged on my floor and turned his volume on his TV up to an obnoxious volume.  Another neighbor warned me he was bi-polar and was probably just targeting me.  My awesome apartment in the perfect place to live – Let go #3.

I had a lovely woman on Craigslist respond to me with an amazing deal on a room for rent close to Boulder (Hygiene).  She began sending me pictures of the view, the dogs and cat (who were precious), the horses, and was expressing her excitement at me coming and meeting her and her family.  She got me here with her promise of a great life!

After Ayla and Ryan both said Bentinho’s answer was, “no”, there was not a need for me and my background was irrelevant for what they needed (although I felt I’d be perfect!), I had to trust my path and destiny.  This all was happening just as I was packing my things!  Holding onto what the end result should look like and how it all should go – Let go #4.

My business had just started to take off, but I took that as a sign that it could and would also take off in Boulder. My business was booming, but I had to follow my dreams and trust the universe would have my back in doing so – Let go #5.

I loaned a friend some money and, instead of paying me back, she fled.  I had to decide to have faith the money would come back to me another way – Let go #6.

An effortless Drive

The drive was enjoyable and flew by like I was in a time warp.  Normally, on a drive like this, I get very tired and am in a lot of pain.  I had neither happen on this trip.  It just felt like the universe wanted to hurry me along.  Neo’s new mom also called and shared some special moments they’ve had since he was adopted into his new family.  It was very sweet.

MY ARRIVAL

“The Pee House” (I’ve affectionately referred to it as)

Once I had arrived in Boulder at this wonderful place I was looking forward to staying at, it smelled like urine very strongly.  I had a powerful air purifier so thought it might help although I’d have to go to Denver to get it from my friend the next day.  I tried to sleep that night, but the smell made it under the door and right through the sheets I held tightly over my mouth and nose.  The next day, only having slept 3 hours, I went to get the air purifier then had a gut check.  I have been working so hard, for months, to get to optimal health.  Did I really want to subject myself to that acid in my lungs?  I was nervous to break the news because I knew she expected her payment (and needed it to pay for her dog’s surgery).  I stated the whole way there, the next day, “Thank you that my breaking the news went SO well.”  And it did.  When I told her I wouldn’t be moving in, all she said was, “Ok.  I kinda figured.” and refused to acknowledge the smell although she’d opened all the windows in anticipation of my return. But she was nice and I paid her for the night's stay.

“Home Sweet Home”

Next, I had to overcome my “stage two” challenge of having to find a place to live.  My friend in Denver said I could stay two more days until her son came home (she and I had an amazing talk while staying there as well – another “meant to be”).  Although, it didn’t seem true in my reality, I kept praying, “Thank you SO much for all the options!  I am so completely supported in all ways and always.” and I would bask in that feeling.  By the end of the first day, I had 3 options.  By the last day, at the last minute, I had 6 options!  The first option was a sweet couple with a large home and an extra room.  Their daughter had spotted my ad on Bentinho’s local community page and urged her mom to private message me on Facebook.  When I arrived, we instantly clicked.  I loved the place, it was clean, and I had been wanting to feel like a part of a family and she offered just that.  In fact, she asked me to please join in on breakfasts, lunches, and dinners as often as possible!  She was excited to hear my story and gave me a discount because I was a Bentinho believer and could enrich her household in this way.  They have 8 children (3 that live at home) so we have become one big happy family.  As it turns out, this family knows Bentinho, his staff, and many of his friends so it was a natural fit for me at this time along my journey.

“Hello, Bentinho”

IMG_4013.JPG

Within only a week of me living here in Boulder, Bentinho announced that he would welcome anyone locally to come join him for dinner one night.  I immediately reserved a table near him as instructed in the post.  However, I noticed no one else was saying they’d be there except one person who already knew him.  I grew nervous imagining that I would show up and would be ignored sitting at a table by myself (again, stage two coming up for healing).  But then I redirected my focus pouring my heart into a feeling of oneness and knowing they would probably be just as happy to finally meet me as well.  Sure enough, we all gathered in the lobby, hugged, and proceeded to get to know each other throughout the course of the evening and had a wonderful time.  They felt like family… it was more like a reunion than us meeting.

“My Tell-All Moment with Bentinho”

Another week had gone by and he offered to meet some locals at the venue for his upcoming birthday retreat.  I was enjoying the ambiance and people watching from a state of presence when Bentinho suddenly appeared beside me.  I was able to share this journey with him, as odd as it may have seemed to him, and told him I’d basically come all this way for him and am here for him if or when he should need me.  He asked me a couple questions then excused himself.

“Bentinho Answers a longstanding Question”

At the retreat I was able to go up and ask Bentinho about an experience I had of enlightenment many years ago and how to get that experience back.  We had a great interaction and even laughed together about how cute Eckhart Tolle is.  I really enjoyed his retreat and made lots of wonderful friends.

“Louis, Louis”

This article wouldn’t be complete without mentioning my friend, Louis.  Just before this all happened, he posted an impactful post on Bentinho’s page he became known for.  From then on out, the Bentinho community would refer to him as “the dentist”.  I replied to his post and he messaged me.  We messaged each other back and forth for a bit before both concluding we’re going to Boulder – each from completely different parts of the world – each feeling the pull.  We chatted every so often supporting each other through the ups and downs one goes through in making such a leap.  As fate would have it, he was staying at another home in Boulder and suddenly found himself needing another housing option.  I put him in touch with Joyce and he came to stay with us having a great time with Joyce’s kids and going to visit Ben and his friends/team frequently. 

CONCLUSION

There really isn’t one – ha!  Because you never know where the breadcrumbs are going to lead.  All I know is my life path has led me to Boulder and and I’m ready for whatever awaits.  The first holistic therapies fair I went to was a huge success, I’ve already had consultations, have put flyers up all over town, I went to an energizing retreat on harnessing my feminine presence (and was told by many they felt I’d be a powerful teacher someday who will inspire many), I got a great part time job I enjoy immensely, AND the synchronicities continue (and Mo still throws in surprises to let me know he’s thinking about me). We’ll just have to see what the universe has in store.  I just know it’ll be pretty damn exciting with the way things have been going!  I’ve learned to expect miracles every day.  This is the potential for all of us.  There’s nothing special about me except that I’m listening and taking action on my spirit’s promptings.

My advice?  Align yourself with positivity, get a moldavite, and hang on! Please feel free to leave a comment below with any questions or feedback. Namaste.

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MOLDAVITE = This mysterious green talisman is star-born, formed from nature's violent meteoric impact with Mother Earth.  Etched by force and flame as it fell from the heavens Moldavite returned to the earth's surface transformed, a glass of amazing delicacy and grace ready to serve humankind.  Moldavite is a talisman sent to Earth for spiritual awakening, transformation and evolutionary growth.  Moldavite is a member of the Tektite group of natural glasses formed from interplanetary collisions. From the Greek word tektos, meaning "molten," Tektites are glassy mixtures of silicon dioxide, aluminum oxide and other metal oxides with an amorphous crystal structure. This beautiful stone is rare, found only in Czechoslovakia, and is named for the area in which it is found, near the Moldau River (called the Vltava in Czech).
Moldavite is good for counteracting cynicism, eases away doubts, even when the cause is unknown, and calms worries about money by providing solutions not previously considered. Carrying or wearing Moldavite in jewelry allows its energies to remain in one's vibrational field throughout the day strengthening its effects and increasing the incidents of beneficial synchronicities in daily life. Because of Moldavite's intense vibration, some may experience light-headedness or a lack of grounding and may need to acclimate themselves gradually to wearing it. Placed on the heart, Moldavite uncovers the reasons and purpose for why one is here. Moldavite amplifies the effects of other stones it is next to.
Moldavite is useful as a tool for diagnosis, illuminating the cause and source of an imbalance or disease, and then supports the releasing and healing process.  Its high vibrational energy helps re-establish the blocked areas, encouraging the cells to return to their original state of perfection.  A rejuvenating stone, Moldavite stimulates personal fulfillment and slows down the aging process. It aids in memory retention and protects against mental degeneration.  It may help balance disturbances in the electrical impulses of the brain, and is supportive for hard to treat progressive illnesses. It is an excellent stimulant for treating gout, and like many green stones is good for the eyes.  Moldavite is a stone of the heart, reaching into the deepest inner self and bringing to the surface that which one most needs to recognize, honor, integrate or release. Its resonance brings the heart into union with the mind, allowing them to work together in partnership.